has any 1 come out during hs as mtf?what were parents reactions?

[rosey]

im thinking about coming out but im afraid i havent heard many stories of mtf coming out in hs.. i was wondering if i should wait till college or i shouuld tell them bc im really confused and really want 2 change but then other times im not 100% so
if any stories about mtf eafctions or in during hs would be helpful
thanks again rosey

Posted on: November 13, 2008, 04:14:18 pmo i forgot would be better if was email or in person
mind u i live with my parents

[Northern Jane]

Well I was never really "in" before coming "out" - it was pretty obvious to everyone from childhood onward that something "wasn't quite right" but I didn't fit what was expected of Gay either. This was a long time ago and I think a lot more people are more clued in now.

From early teens onward a lot of the boys 'pulled back' and some of the girls (but not all). Pretty much, among my peers, I was just "me" and "me" was a little strange. However it was a constant running battle with my mom (who wanted to deny everything) and me (who wouldn't let her). Getting away to college was a blessed relief!

(Things eventually blew up with my mom. I went of for SRS in 1974 and got disowned. 34 years went by and nothing changed. My parents are both gone now.)

[lady amarant]

I went of for SRS in 1974 and got disowned. 34 years went by and nothing changed. My parents are both gone now.)

I'm sorry honey. 


Rosey, it really does come down to what kind of people your parents are. If they are fairly well informed and open-minded, they'd probably help you to see a therapist, which is really what you should be doing to help you sort out your feelings. If they're not though ... it's a risk either way, and only you can gauge how they're likely to react. I used the old:

"I have this friend who lives in Taiwan and wants to come back to South Africa, only she used to be he, and is unsure if it's safe. What do you think I should say to her?" (I taught English in Taiwan for a year, so just insert appropriate context that makes sense for you )

On quite a few friends and relatives to see how they felt about the subject before coming out, but yeah, even that could be risky if the person you are speaking to has very strongly negative feelings about trans-people.

Anyways, hugs, and I hope things work out honey.

~Simone.

[rosey]

thanks for the help
i think i decided to do as soon as dad leaves for trip for a week give my mom enough to recoup before he comes home

[Gracie Faise]

Hey, I'm probably the closest to your age on this site (19) and I am fresh out of high school by about a year.
TRUST ME when I tell you this: how your high school peers think of you will be meaningless once you graduate. Come out now if you want, because even if you do get negative feedback from kids in your school, who cares? You'll never see them again.
I didn't come out until after high school because I was afraid of this very same thing (mean kids giving me hell), and now I only see them bagging my groceries.
Sure, right now that kid might be the bully, but when high school is over, reality redistributes the power, and from my own experiences, that redistribution is very, very fruitful.

[Mr. Fox]

Make sure that you are near the emotional level where you do not care too much what your parents think, and their doubts will not create doubts in your own mind.  You are probably already to this point.  However, there's a good chance your parents will try to convince you that you are not a girl, and if you have doubts about your transsexuality or revere your parents, it will be even harder to deal with your parents bugging you all the time than if you are confident.
Adrian, who isn't MtF, but is a highschooler.

[Kimberly]

High School? Hrm, while that was ages ago for me I would yes albeit I doubt I would have in school (it's none of their business). I say this because I have always been exceptionally close to my parents, and factually their love for me kept me from suiciding around around the end of middle school. But more to the point if I had realized how much this condition hurt and how much is screwed up my life I would have done something when I realized I'd have swapped bodies if they had such an option way back at the start of middle school. Hind sight, as they say.

Factually however I found that my internal clock stopped somewhere around age 17, simply I was roughly 17 for ... way to many years. At 3 years HRT, an a bit more than that clued in at age 33 I am just now starting to get my life in order. In my case I am inclined to say that this condition made a mess of my life. But regardless I do think I would have spoken with my parents way back then if I just had realized it then. But again, my parents are my life.

[lady amarant]

I found that my internal clock stopped somewhere around age 17, simply I was roughly 17 for ... way to many years.

OMG that is so very true.

~Simone.

[rosey]

thanks for advice
what wording do u think would be best for tellin her?
i was thinking
hey mom can i tell u something
mom: yes
u promise not to get mad
mom:yes
since i was like 5 i have been really confused about gender
i have felt like should been born for female
i can remeber when we were in cvs and i went to make up and looking at nail stuff and putting my finger under the fake nail. im still same person nothing has changed...

general stuff like that or what else do u think i should say?
i think my mom will question bc i am currently dating someone and have dated so idk what 2 do about that?

[Gracie Faise]

thanks for advice
what wording do u think would be best for tellin her?
i was thinking
hey mom can i tell u something
mom: yes
u promise not to get mad
mom:yes
since i was like 5 i have been really confused about gender
i have felt like should been born for female
i can remeber when we were in cvs and i went to make up and looking at nail stuff and putting my finger under the fake nail. im still same person nothing has changed...
 
general stuff like that or what else do u think i should say?
i think my mom will question bc i am currently dating someone and have dated so idk what 2 do about that?

Explain that it is not a fetish, but an actual medical condition that needs to be treated by transitioning.

[tinkerbell]

Mom had the most difficult time, cried, said things like "you are killing my son", but years later, she is perfectly fine with everything and hardly remembers my parasitic twin!  .  She is thankful to have a daughter who is alive rather than mourn the loss of a "son" who never existed in the first place.  Dad is a Saint and his initial response was "oh?  OK, fine".  I know I've been extremely lucky to have such understanding parents/family, and I thank life for that every chance I get.

I would suggest arming yourself with as much information as you can before you tell them.  There is a huge list of many organizations on the web.  Just type "transgender families support" to google it out.  PFLAG published this sometime ago in an aim to help TG children and their families:

http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Publications/OTC_5thedition.pdf

Good luck with everything hon and keep us posted!

tink

[Annwyn]

I transitioned in middle school.

In highschool my parents withdrew their medical consent so I had to transition back.

Parents reactions?  Teachers and pastors called up the parents of every single friend I made and sabotaged me.

When I was living fulltime it wasn't a big deal.  When I had to go back to living male it suddenly turned me into some 15 year old, "predator," and "godless child."

[CypherEnigma]

I just recently came out and I'm 18.
The biggest issue is that my mother didn't seem to think I had the right mindset to make this decision. I was "young" and "experiencing new things"(college) and "should make sure this is who I am before I become known for this around school"
I have my own reactions to all of this-and as much as I wanted to argue my feelings and stress this, it would have been much more confrontational than it was if I just gave it time like she asked. I still feel the same as I did prior to coming out so I wasn't swayed by her views. I know what I feel-and I will always know better than anyone else. The most positive aspect of coming out would be that I am going to receive help paying for therapy- but that has to wait till after I get back from winter break.

[vanna]

Things eventually blew up with my mom. I went of for SRS in 1974 and got disowned. 34 years went by and nothing changed. My parents are both gone now

Im a bit late on this thread but you know what, thats terribly sad and just made me cry thinking of something related. Sorry Jane "hug"

To come out or not to come out, well my view is your going to need to do it eventually so if it feels right and your right time then just do it hunny. I think we all know our best times deep down.

[Janet_Girl]

What ever you do, Rosey.  Don't wait till you are an old lady like me, 54, and begin transitioning.  So much time lost.  I am lucky that both my folks are gone.  But Dad was a 'Not In My House' kinda guy.   But if they saw how happy I am now, maybe??

[rosey]

just little update im like verg like spilling it out so as soon as i can im gonna tell her and i cant deal with not being pretty/frilly and letting my body become more male :/ so i cant wait im actually excited more than nervous ethier i need to get off my chest cause its ditracting me like crazy t
thanks for ur help
late 

[Mr. Fox]

Good luck.  I hope it goes well, but even if it doesn't at least you've come out.
Adrian

[rosey]

thanks im still waiting for my dad to leave on trip though but i cant wait 2 come out even if she diagrees with it because i can finally unbottle my feelings and eventaully and hopefully start transiting by the begining of the next year if my dad leaves hopefully lol  
thanks again