what should i do?

[xxaussiexx]

Hey everyone,

i am really confused with myself atm.  I came out about a month ago to some close friends that i was a lesbian.  THey were all great about it.  I'm going to be as concise as possible.
But i have a problem...ever since i was little i wanted to become a boy, dressed like one, played only with boy toys etc...  My mum refused to let me cut my hair short and whenever she made me wear my hair down or half and hlaf i literally hated it.  By the time i was 11/12 i had chosen a name for myself.  However, the religion i've grown up in doesnt accept this.  Everyone just knew that i was a big tomboy.  I thought i was in the wrong with what they taught so i slowly forced myself to start trying to be more girly, ttry to accept that i was a girl and there was no other way - thats what i had to live with.  this was around the time when i was 14/15. 
I've always had boyish behaviours that i've had to umm...suppress (if thats the right word).  No one now would ever guess that i was that much of a "tomboy" which my mum is glad - she thought it was just a phase.  But now, ever since coming out and a little time before all i can think about is becoming a male and how much i miss trying to be who i use to - express myself for who i really am.
Theres one close friend that i really want to tell but i'm worried what she'll think - just told her that i'm a lesbian and now tell her what i really feel.  I'm just so confused with what i want/need to do!!  I'm sorry if theres not much detail or if its hard to follow.
Please help!! 

[Jamie-o]

You've just told the life story of virtually every FtM on this board (give or take a few details.)     Welcome! Obviously, you are the only one who can ultimately make the decision about who you are and if or what you want to do about it.  But coming here is a great first step.  We've got a great group of guys here, who are very supportive of one another.  There's lots of info and advice to be had on the FtM board, as well.

As for your friends - it sounds as if you've chosen them well.  People don't tend to be as well informed about trans-ness as they are about homosexuality, though.  So, my advice would be to do your research first, and be sure to have solid, concise answers for the questions that will undoubtedly come up, before you throw this at them.

[Ryan]

Hey. Just wanted to let you know that I'm pretty much in the same situation as you.
I don't really have anything all that useful to say, but my advice would be to take things slowly.
Don't rush into labelling yourself and just be yourself

I was suggested to take a holiday or day out somewhere where people didn't know me and spend my time there as a guy. Just to help clear my mind.

[Nicky]

Hi Aussie, nice to meet you.

I just want to reasure you that there is no hurry to figure it all out. Discovery is a journey and the more relaxed you can be about it the better I reckon because there will always be bumps in the road. You don't need to do anything untill you figure out what you want and discover more about who you are. Sometimes discovery is enough for you to feel good in your own skin and you won't need to change anything.

My advice is to try things out. Dress a little more manly, act a bit more like how you feel. Join in transgender discussions, ask questions. See if there is a local transgender group you can join. Read, dream, itch and drink beer if it makes you happy. Find out what makes you most comfortable.

[Lachlann]

I agree with everyone else. Take it slow and figure things out on your own.

On the plus side, depending where you live, it's generally more acceptable for a girl to dress a little manly so people might not question you so much when experimenting.

[Alyx.]

We've got a great group of guys here, who are very supportive of one another.

Whenever someone says this, I always picture a bunch of guys standing around drinking beer and punching each other in the shoulders, saying things like, "Yo, sup bro?" or "How's it going man?"

Am I the only one that does this?

Oh, and welcome. Sounds like me backwards.

[xxaussiexx]

I was suggested to take a holiday or day out somewhere where people didn't know me and spend my time there as a guy. Just to help clear my mind.

Did u find that it helped u?  I dressed very much like a guy 2day, something that i havnt done in a LONG LONG time and i felt so comfortable and normal.  It felt great, but i had to watch my behaviour and that around my family, which was frustrating...

[Ryan]

I haven't actually done it yet. Haven't been anywhere where I can.
Need to find a cheap and effective way to bind my breasts and keep my hair up abit more, and I'm sorted.
I'll most likely let you know how it goes when I do get around to it

[xxaussiexx]

we have holidays coming up and my whole family was going to go away.  I was planning on maybe ordering some binders or something and really dress as i want to around the house and that but just found out that one of my sisters is staying...screws that plan..
out of curiosity, how long in would u start to wear packers? - to see what they're like

[Ryan]

I just roll up socks and put those in my boxers. Maybe try that and see how it feels?
After doing that for a few weeks in public, I've started to look into buying a packer.

[xxaussiexx]

that sounds good.  i think i'll give that a go.  any advice needed about using socks?  i also have to buy some boxers...i'm lacking the basics.

[Ryan]

You don't need boxers. Can do it with woman's underwear if you wanted. I found that I felt much better when I started wearing men's underwear though.
But yeah, I wear baggy boxers, so there's some skillfull placement involved. Just roll the sock up half way and then push the other half through the fly. Works for me.

[myles]

Boxer briefs (i think they are called can't remember) work great. This is what I wear, they have the lenght of boxers but are a bit tighter so they hold a packer in place.
Myles

[Seshatneferw]

My experience -- coming from the other direction, mind you -- has been that it's better to concentrate on what you want to achieve than on what the culture expects sexy underwear to look like. What I have between my legs, and the way I want to keep them from getting in the way, limits my choices for knickers pretty severely. Similarly, I'd guess that loose boxers are not the best choice for packing, at least if one doesn't want to have additional support to minimise the risk of it falling out of a trouser leg.

Of course, a more permanent solution will make it possible to use just the kind of underwear one wants to. For initial packing experiments with rolled-up socks, though, I'd probably try something tighter-fitting than regular boxers. See how it feels to have it down there, not how it feels to worry about it falling off.

  Nfr

[xxaussiexx]

alrighty, i think i'm going to get myself a pair.  Its going to be awkward the first time walking into a shop to buy some.  Sry for the silly qstns, but is the sizing similar to that of womens underwear or are there some things i have to keep in mind when buying them?  this is all new...

[tekla]

Move at least one, if not two sizes down.  And don't worry, women are always shopping for men, no one pays it any mind.

[sd]

Tekla is right, the ratio buying mens items is almost half and half it seems.

[icontact]

We've got a great group of guys here, who are very supportive of one another.

Whenever someone says this, I always picture a bunch of guys standing around drinking beer and punching each other in the shoulders, saying things like, "Yo, sup bro?" or "How's it going man?"

Am I the only one that does this?

Haha, actually in the FtM chatroom, we use the words bro, dude, and man a tonnn. I guess to reiterate to ourselves our manliness.

[Jay]

Haha, actually in the FtM chatroom, we use the words bro, dude, and man a tonnn. I guess to reiterate to ourselves our manliness.

I disagree, I call women dude, man, bro. Doesn't mean nothing. Im not trying to say "you
da man!" Just a nickname I use for most people.


Your story xxaussiexx sounds very familer. Welcome to the forum!

[Jamie-o]

We've got a great group of guys here, who are very supportive of one another.

Whenever someone says this, I always picture a bunch of guys standing around drinking beer and punching each other in the shoulders, saying things like, "Yo, sup bro?" or "How's it going man?"

Am I the only one that does this?

Don't be silly. *rubs shoulder while surreptitiously kicking empty beer bottles under the couch*