This topic is for everyone who has ever been anyone's SO.
I left my ex in 1980. She was abusive and I will not get into the details, so there was no loss there except for a deep feeling of having failed my children at the time. The Children's Aid Society had taken them away before she had even left the house we had shared. That was the last time I had seen the three children and their mom until twelve years ago when I decided to move back to the town where my children pretty well lived on their own but still having ties to their mom.
My intentions were to reunite with my children before they got to the age to leave home to pursue their own lives. What I had not anticipated is that I would have to make a truce with their mother, and so I did. I even helped her with some small house repairs and mowed the lawn, and cleaned out a mess of garbage that had been collected in the back yard for several years.
So once again I was reunited with my three children. I even had my son in my custody for two years as his mom could not handle his unruly behavior, part of which was his habit of pot smoking. It was during the last year he was with me that I had come out full time.
All my children were OK with who I was, or so it appeared. My oldest daughter was my greatest support through that last year, but then, we were supporting each other at the time. She was going through a nasty relationship with an abusive partner. I helped her to leave town so that she would be away and safe from him. My youngest daughter had already gone off to college in the city at the time.
I lost my son 8 years ago in a senseless automobile accident. He was 20 years old. He got hit by a truck while crossing the highway. He had been troubled over the loss of a girlfriend. That and the pot smoking. I can not truly say what else may have been bothering him. I have no way of knowing what was going through his head that night nor did I know what he had been doing that night, I only know that I miss him just as much today as I did then.
I had 11 children go though my home over the years: a nephew and three nieces, my own three (two girls and the one I lost). I had one foster child who grew up to be a beautiful, hard- working young lady. Last I heard she was working in the fiberglass department for Grew Boats.
My two daughters have done well for themselves. One is a child psychologist and the other is a manager of some chain of stores. I also had a friend who left her three children in my care for two years. That was 6 years ago. Oh yes, I do know about the loss of a child and the empty nest syndrome, but yes, regardless of all the hardships I am still filled with many more good memories and it is these memories that come to mind during the holidays. The hardest part, I suppose, is the holidays. Tear-filled holidays.
So now what do I do to fill the empty spaces? I am a retired social worker of 25 years. Now I have moved to my new home here in Vancouver, BC, a very pretty place with very beautiful people. In the past year and a half I have gone back to volunteering at a woman's shelter for a couple days of the week and I am an organizer for two local meetup groups.
I spend whatever spare time that is left sharing with some friends on different message boards on the web. I also have a passion for writing. So I do keep busy, I keep the mind occupied and the soul filled with love for all whom I beleive to be a friend, any person whether that person be the town mayor or Billy the bum on the park bench.
And of course I have my beloved Wing Walker to share my life with.
Cindy
