Taking an MtF Friend Shopping? (Advice)

[Ender]

I have a friend who's pre-transition MtF, and she's... I dunno, afraid I guess, to do much about it in a clothes shopping sense, though I think she'd like to.  She's afraid of getting weird looks shopping in the girls department, I think.  Do you generally welcome having a friend offer to come clothes shopping with you (especially for those pre-transition)? 

Last time I was shopping with my friend (she needed guy clothes for her job), I wanted to offer to accompany her to the girls section, but didn't know if that would be weird or not.  Granted, I don't look all that girlish, but people would still probably assume we were shopping for me anyways. *shrug*  We don't live in close proximity to one another, but for future reference, I suppose... any advice?  Would an offer to go shopping generally be welcome, even if the person offering is FtM (with an OK style sense; she liked my clothes when I dressed more girlish)?

[Icephoenyx]

Definitely a good idea, your friend would appreciate that very much I would think!!

[sarahb]

I'd think she'd really appreciate the offer. I know I would have when I was first starting out. It's always a lot more comforting to have someone there with you for moral support and motivation. I was the same way in the beginning, never wanted to go out shopping for fear of ridicule or whatever, but when I had someone there (thank you Meghan ) I felt more comfortable in doing it.

[Krissy_Australia]

It really does help to have a girlfiend go shopping with you as it builds up the courage for the enevitable. The first time I went by myself was just plain scary. But when I explained myself the assistant was very accomdating. Most would have seen guys come in fumble around and get the hell out of there.
One tip though. Dont wear any shoes with laces.

[Alyssa M.]

Umm.... in general, going shopping for women's clothes with a guy friend is not my idea of a great time ... But with some trans guys I know it might be okay, just because most of them know their way around a women's department a little better than you average guy.

Shopping with a girl friend? Good times. In the past I've turned down such offers, because it was just too hard -- but the offer was very welcome anyway. And I think, whatever your relationship with a timid trans girl, the offer would be welcome from you as well.

--

By the way, Sarah, what's up with the bikini + ski goggles look in your avatar? Closing day, or what?

[sarahb]

By the way, Sarah, what's up with the bikini + ski goggles look in your avatar? Closing day, or what?

Haha, no. That's a picture from my trip to Burning Man - http://www.burningman.com - this past August. It's a week-long event out in the desert, so everyone usually keeps their goggles on them in case of a dust storm. And the bikini, well, I was out in the desert so it's hot.

[fusi]

i would so totally snap up the offer! and i think its really sweet of you too <3

[CypherEnigma]

I would defiantly offer. It really does help if you go with someone else. Also if you're shopping with a friend it makes it less likely that anyone will object in my opinion. While it still stands to happen, it seems to happen a lot less. Also never hurts to have a second opinion!
Sarrah M.

[Laura Eva B]

By the way, Sarah, what's up with the bikini + ski goggles look in your avatar? Closing day, or what?

Haha, no. That's a picture from my trip to Burning Man - http://www.burningman.com - this past August. It's a week-long event out in the desert, so everyone usually keeps their goggles on them in case of a dust storm. And the bikini, well, I was out in the desert so it's hot.

Just that the guy you are with ... guess we'd like to see more of him  ...  ...

Laura x

[fusi]

may i just say i think SarahR is totally and absolutely drop dead gorgeous

[Victoria L.]

Yeah, the few times I bought female's clothes I have had help from one of my friends who is a girl. She checked everything out for me so at least I wouldn't get any weird looks from the cashier.

But trying on the pants, OMG that was awkward. Especially since it was Wal Mart and I had to have permission to use the dressing rooms, and then the lady there started flipping out on me and asking whether I was a guy or girl... and I was like "What?" (You have to understand I fail at passing and wasn't even trying. I have no clue how this happened.) I should have said "girl" and went in the woman's part, but I didn't even try. But yeah that was way too awkward, especially since the first pair I tried on was either too small or too big. (I forget.)

[Brittany]

That's so nice of you to offer. Makes me wish I had a friend I was out to.

[Cindy]

OH so yes

We have to overcome the feeling of stares and judgements. And it's fun.
You sound special - which means you are.
I found a major store where an assistant read me, she is young and attractive and all cisgirl but she now goes out of her way to say - no that will be too small, that won't suit you  try this.
In my experience in my country 99.9% of shop assistants don't worry - it's the sale, they are on commission. What happens if you went to the management and said _ I was going to buy $x of clothes but I was ridiculed, will you get thrown out of the shop?
You are really a nice guy to help out your friend. And I mean that in every way
Luv
Cindy James

[tekla]

Retail in the states is so desperate for sales that I'm shocked that they are not out rounding up men to sell to.

[Vexing]

I've been buying gifts for my 'girlfriend' since I was 16.
If your friend is not opposed to a little deception, simply tell her to walk around looking highly confused until one of the store assistants asks her if she would like any assistance. Then she can painfully explain that she's shopping for her 'girlfriend'.

Playing devil's advocate:
While it is nice to have someone come with you while you are initially shopping for clothes, it can prevent the development of confidence. Your friend may rely on you to be there every time she wants to go shopping.
It's the old story of being thrown in the deep end - you learn to swim really quickly.

Or she could simply shop online and have the clothes mailed to her.
Cuts out any need to be embarrassed. 

[Ender]

Thanks for the input, everybody.  I was kinda concerned about asking and then just getting a weird stare ("but you're a guy").  *shrug*  Guess it can't hurt to just offer, though.

[Vexing]

Guess it can't hurt to just offer, though.

For sure. I'm sure she will appreciate knowing that there is a friend willing to help her out.

[tekla]

I think it's great, so many people's expecations to be messed with in one day.  Awesome.

[fusi]

I've been buying gifts for my 'girlfriend' since I was 16.
If your friend is not opposed to a little deception, simply tell her to walk around looking highly confused until one of the store assistants asks her if she would like any assistance. Then she can painfully explain that she's shopping for her 'girlfriend'.

Playing devil's advocate:
While it is nice to have someone come with you while you are initially shopping for clothes, it can prevent the development of confidence. Your friend may rely on you to be there every time she wants to go shopping.
It's the old story of being thrown in the deep end - you learn to swim really quickly.

Or she could simply shop online and have the clothes mailed to her.
Cuts out any need to be embarrassed. 

i do a lot of my shopping online it must be said - it can prove difficult to size yourself correctly though (every brand/store/etc seems to interpret a size however they want) - looking at a jpg wont tell you if its gonna fit! but it is _very_ convenient!

fusi
x