Where You Go, There You Are
Posted December 9, 2008
http://radnichole.wordpress.com/2008/12/09/where-you-go-there-you-are/Also the past few days I have beenthinking about the toils of women who completed the physical portions of their transition. Over the years I've read the responses they've had to their new problem: how one finds love without telling the loved one of her history. How one manages to walk through the world when others around her know. It seems that simply changing one's body may not be enough. I understand that desire: just to test the water and discover if one's accepted as who they believe they have spent much time changing to. I find it a very natural response to one's existence. But, it's never a sure pointer, merely one that if it's enough to not-know, then is effective.
Humans like to test things. We seem to find a solace in a successful test, although the ones we test with others' reactions to us are, perforce, unbalanced and show us little in the long-run. Only that people are perhaps more or less inclined to find our new presentation of this self in a new physical form useful to the ways they decline us. Like school-children, sometimes the declensions flow amiss and one hears another use the past subjunctive when they should have used the future subjunctive. It could simply be ignorance of the learner, or a stray mistake, easily made. One who tests the reactions of strangers never usually quite knows what the thought behind their reactions are. One can only imagine given one's own tendency to read success or failure into her enterprise.
