Reminds me of a friend who told me, "Hey, those two are a real happy couple now" - which was weird, they always used to fight - so I asked how and he said 'they broke up."
But why, or better yet, how, is it abusive if it meets both people's needs?
I mean, I used to think she was just full of it, and wrote that to like fill out the page, at least when I read it in high school, but in the couple of times I've read it since that keeps on leaping out at me - like I said, she writes it a few times - I've come to see that she might well be on to something. That real solid relationships don't work because both people are giving and getting equal amounts, but rather because each person is getting and giving what they want to get and give. Which in some areas is nothing, and other areas, everything.