Full Time?

[Randy]

Just something I've been pondering -

I'm wondering what exactly qualifies as going "full time" on the ftm side of things? In the case of mtfs, (society being what it is: completely unaccepting of femininity in what it perceives to be "males") they have usually presented as convincing men for their whole lives and then must make the shift into presenting as women to the world. I think for most of us ftms, we've dressed/acted publicly masculine our whole lives. So when can we say that we are going full time? What do you think?

[Zeke]

Wow I know exactly what I want to say but not how to put it into words.

I always saw it as taking a stand, grabbing ahold of your identity, and moving forward with it. Like... doing something with yourself, instead of "compromising" by living as female. Yeah, I've acted unfemininely and worn typically male clothes ever since I was old enough to think for myself-- but as far as I'm concerned, I didn't go full-time until I adopted a new name, started introducing myself with it, insisted that friends and family use male pronouns, and made plans for my future and whatnot.

[sneakersjay]

Full-time to me is when you live your whole life (home/work/wherever) as male.  For me that happened when I finally came out at work and am now referred to by my male (legal) name and male pronouns.

For me, living as a male everywhere except work, though dressing male at work, was not quite full time when they were calling me by my female name and female pronouns.


Jay

[JonasCarminis]

i count myself full time because i go by male pronouns and my chosen name everwhere now.  except at home... because my parents refuse to call me he and by my chosen name right now.  they know though, so i count it as full time.  im not going to wait for their slow butts to catch up before i count myself as fully me.

[Nero]

Re: Full Time?

I dunno. I mean if you don't pass, you can be doing everything to live as yourself but people just see a butch girl. It's different with mtfs because at least people can tell they're presenting as female.

[Christo]

livin ur life as a dude 24hrs a day every day. bein known as a dude at work, home, school, everywhere u go. thats full time.

[milliontoone]

Presenting as a guy to everyone that basically means letting everyone relevant who you come into contact with know you are a Mr (this doesn't mean you have to correct the man at Tesco if he calls you maam, although it is tempting) , living as a guy 24/7, feeling it 100%.  Only you can know when you are ready to do this.  I have been living totally full time for over a year now and will be starting T soon.  I think it is important to do this before you start T as not only will you be sure you are making the right choice but you will be also mentally prepped for it too.

[GnomeKid]

Presenting as a guy to everyone that basically means letting everyone relevant who you come into contact with know you are a Mr (this doesn't mean you have to correct the man at Tesco if he calls you maam, although it is tempting) , living as a guy 24/7, feeling it 100%.  Only you can know when you are ready to do this.  I have been living totally full time for over a year now and will be starting T soon.  I think it is important to do this before you start T as not only will you be sure you are making the right choice but you will be also mentally prepped for it too.

That seems so much easier said than done though.  Most people take me for male on first glance, but the moment I open my mouth and speak they correct themselves.  My voice is not extraordinarily high, but it is certainly not masculine.  It seems as though it would be impossible to live as a male with this hanging over your head. 

[Jeatyn]

Presenting as a guy to everyone that basically means letting everyone relevant who you come into contact with know you are a Mr (this doesn't mean you have to correct the man at Tesco if he calls you maam, although it is tempting) , living as a guy 24/7, feeling it 100%.  Only you can know when you are ready to do this.  I have been living totally full time for over a year now and will be starting T soon.  I think it is important to do this before you start T as not only will you be sure you are making the right choice but you will be also mentally prepped for it too.

That seems so much easier said than done though.  Most people take me for male on first glance, but the moment I open my mouth and speak they correct themselves.  My voice is not extraordinarily high, but it is certainly not masculine.  It seems as though it would be impossible to live as a male with this hanging over your head.

fake it till you make it 

[milliontoone]

Oh full time doesn't mean you have to pass 100% or even 1%.  It's not a test by how many people perceive you as a guy at all.  It just means you have to live your life as if you were a man 100% (which of course you are).  Refer to yourself in the masculine, change your title from Ms to Mr, go to school or work with a male identity.

Basically just all the things a bio guy would do in their day to day life.

It's not important what other people percieve you as and that isn't what transition is about. You are (hopefully) doing this for yourself not for anyone else.  So you need to live as a guy 100% because you need to regardless if anyone thinks you actually are a guy or not but you can only live this way when you are totally ready to.

[Luc]

Yeah, I wore men's clothing from about 15 or 16 on... pretty much as soon as I had the money to buy my own clothes. People mistook me for a guy quite a few times while I was younger, but once I hit about 22, I think I just looked too feminine for that to happen. It didn't matter how masculine my clothing and haircut were, people just saw me as a girl... I'm guessing as a butch lesbian.

A couple months after my 24th birthday, though, I decided I was done living a lie, and started asserting myself as a man. I wore a binder everywhere I went, even packed (though I've realized the folly of my ways now... a rubber penis does not a man make). I used men's restrooms exclusively, tried to talk as low as my natural range would allow, and came out to everyone I knew. Did I pass? Heck no. But I didn't care.

Despite that, though, after 8 months on testosterone and the intense masculinization that accompanied it, I still have plenty of oh s*** moments, when I'm sure someone's read me, or I feel like I'm not binding well enough, etc etc. With my baritone voice, there's no way anyone could mistake me for anything but a guy... but that's just what happens when you spend 24 years in the wrong body.

SD