Help With Formal Clothes

[Dante]

I need some help. I there will be a ceremony at the end of this year for my school (not really a graduation, more like a 'see you next year' deal), and we're supposed to wear nice clothes. Like dresses and suits and stuff. And herein lies my problem: I'm not out, so I can't wear a suit or anything. And I flat out refuse to wear a dress. So can anyone help me with something I can wear to that? I was thinking maybe a button-down shirt and some slacks or something. Any ideas? Any help is greatly appreciated. 

[tekla]

Why can't you wear a suit, its not like a guy wearing a dress.  I see women in mens clothes all the time.

[lizbeth]

I agree with tekla, I don't think anything should prevent you from wearing a suit. I used to be in band and orchestra, and plenty of the female members would wear suits to our concerts.

[sarahb]

I agree with Tekla. Unless it's required for girls to wear a dress and guys wear a suit, which would be totally stupid, then I say wear a suit.

[tekla]

And make it a gray suit.  Charcoal gray, with pinstripes if you a very slim body, no stripes if you are on the husky side, and black shoes.  Black suits are for orchestra members, tuxes, and undertakers.  Brown suits don't make it, likewise brown shoes.

[icontact]

And a sexy tie. Sexy ties make the suit. Solid, or striped silk. And no black ties, those are boring.

[TamTam]

It doesn't even have to be a men's suit, if you're really worried about it outing you. And I agree, sexy tie.

[Mr. Fox]

And make it a gray suit.  Charcoal gray, with pinstripes if you a very slim body, no stripes if you are on the husky side, and black shoes.  Black suits are for orchestra members, tuxes, and undertakers.  Brown suits don't make it, likewise brown shoes.

A pox on your arbitrary rules!  I only preotest because my only suit is black with gold pinstripes.  Also, I like black.

Anyway, you can wear a suit without being out.  I wore a tux to the last school dance, and I got no flak about it.
Adrian

[tekla]

Suits are not expressions of individuality, but rather a matter of uniform.  Which is why the only exception to a man wearing a suit to a formal event is a military uniform (dress uniform, every service has one).  You don't want your clothes to stand out, you want your mind and personality to stand out.  So you dress like everyone else there.  A woman finds it a horrible event when someone else wears the same dress as she is.  A man finds it horrible if he does not look exactly like every other guy there.  Which is why, for very formal events, a tux, which is exactly the same on everyone.

[Osiris]

Yeah, I wore a suit to an awards ceremony. Nobody questioned it.

But if you still want to go alittle more fem mix and match. Wear women's slacks a button down and a nice jacket and a tie. or wear men's slacks, women's blouse a jacket and no tie.

There are a lot of ways to dress more masculinely without completely giving away what you're trying to do.

[Dante]

It's not so much that I'm afraid if people knew, it's that it seems to cause me a lot of trouble. Tons of people ask "Are you a boy or a girl?" and I can't say I'm a guy, but I sure as hell won't say I'm a girl, and then I end up mumbling trying to say something intelligent. Or, somebody I meet thinks I'm a guy (which I appreciate) but when they meet my old friends, they're calling me 'he', and my friends are saying 'she', so that makes a problem too. I'll probably tell them sometime soon here, anyway.

But thanks for all the advice. A full on suit might be a little too dressy, but I imagine a nice shirt and tie would be about right. And I agree on the sexy tie.  But I think a black silk tie is real nice.

And Tekla, I could go for a grey suit, but I like black better. Especially the all black suit! But I'm sure that's just me.  But the classic suit is good for me, too. Nice and crisp.

[milliontoone]

Wear the suit dammit!!!! LOL........ I see both women and men wearing suits everyday you will not out yourself trust me.  And I totally concur with Tekla about the charcoal grey.  With perhaps a pink and grey silk tie, totally hot. But I apprecite money may be a problem for you it certainly is for me.  So I say go ahead with the black suit you have and maybe buy a nice new tie if you can afford it.

[tekla]

In suit language black indicates a more of servant then the boss.  Butlers, and as I said, undertakers tend to that color.  Besides, black shows dirt like crazy, so gray tends to be more everyday wear for business.  Black is OK for a tux, no other color is, ever.  Not unless you are going to bring balloons and wear real big shoes too.

And practice living, moving, and being in it. (make sure the shirt collar is the right size too).  People not wearing it right, or tugging at the collar and tie somehow look very 12 years old.

[GnomeKid]

on those days I would wear guys dress pants (or dickies because I usually just look like a bum) and a tucked in guys dress shirt and a belt I am also a huge fan of vests (make you look nicer but you don't have to worry about a coat/tie.  Ties are great but can be expensive and I always feel I'm overdressing if I wear one.  Then again I feel I'm overdressing wearing pants nicer than dickies so I'm clearly not the best at formal occasions. 

[Osiris]

For ties, look at goodwill. Seriously they have some awesome ties for a dollar a piece. Same goes for hats... but I'm a hat addict so yeah.

[GnomeKid]

For ties, look at goodwill. Seriously they have some awesome ties for a dollar a piece. Same goes for hats... but I'm a hat addict so yeah.

hell yea I got a REALLY nice grey fedora at salvation army for 3 dollars

[Dante]

I normally shop thrift, so I have no problem with that. I don't have anything dressy at all, so I'll have to buy it. But my parents will be paying, so I don't think it will be that much of an issue. It's not a big event in my life. But it would be nice to be able to find this stuff cheap. We're not rich or anything, but I think we could afford something.

And I kinda see what you're saying about the black suit being like servant, but I guess I was talking more of a full on tux. I fell in love with the all black tux, although I don't know why. It's classic, but kinda more of an edge than the really classic (white shirt, black tie pants & jacket).