Aaargh! How do I break into the Boy's Club

[Jamie-o]

I'm generally the only female bodied person who works in the area I'm currently working in.  And sometimes, boy do I feel it.  The boys will all be laughing and joking around.  But the moment I walk up, they run for the four corners of the shipping dock. *sigh*  They act as if I'm the company Yard Nard, and they scamper as soon as I'm in hearing distance.  Sometimes it just eats into my soul.  All I want is to be "one of the boys", but most of them can't seem to stretch their minds that far.  Any advice on not coming off as an alien life form among young men?  (In any case, I just needed to have a small rant.  A rantlet? Thanks for listening.)

[sarahb]

Instead of trying to get in good with them as a group, try maybe getting good with them one at a time. Then you'll have someone in the group who won't scamper and that may slowly change the attitude towards you as a whole.

[Ender]

Hm...  Getting to know 'em one at a time is a good idea.

If I was in that situation, that's prolly what I would do.  Granted, me being me, I'd ask 'em to go to the bars for an evening, have some beers & wings, play some pool, and the like.  (Sadly it's sometimes interpreted as a date when I do that... though the guys seem rather taken aback when I drink more than they do and then beat them in pool...  if they learn I'm not interested in guys anyways, they tend to back off; I've made a few friends that way.)  Don't know how that would work in your situation, though; is hanging out after hours with co-workers common at your workplace? 

Also, you say "young men"...  if there's a significant age difference between you & them, that may also be a reason why they scamper off & stop joking when you come around.  They might see you as in some sort of position of higher authority (or perhaps just someone who would be bothered by joking & apt to tell management), even if you're not technically their superior.  *Shrug* maybe try throwing in a joke once in a while... they might be taken aback at first, but showing some wit--or mostly just showing that you can handle joking--may be helpful.

[Jamie-o]

Thanks for the good advice, you two. 

As it turns out, apparently all I needed to do was whine here at Susan's, and the Great ->-bleeped-<- Fairy came and waved hir magic wand. 

It was a very weird evening.  My supervisor, who has, up to this point, ignored or avoided me as much as possible, has apparently decided that I neither breathe fire, nor excrete toxic oils from my pores, and was almost ... friendly, tonight.  And that's not the weirdest part.

For the past month I've been enduring a constant diet of Hip-hop and Country - 2 of the 3 styles of music I really dislike.  Today I walk in and guess what they're listening to?  Go ahead.  If you guessed Disney show tunes, you win the prize.  I think aliens abducted my co-workers during the night, and replaced them with duplicates.  I must remember to thank them.   

[kestin]

Its awesome when things just fall into place XD

[lizbeth]

I think aliens abducted my co-workers during the night, and replaced them with duplicates.  I must remember to thank them.   

did they happen to return with goatees?

glad things are going better with your coworkers.

shipping dock, you say? as a former case lumper/forklift operator, beer is the answer you seek. bring beer and after the last trailer is loaded or unloaded tell them to meet you in teh parking lot.

[milliontoone]

If you want them to accept you as one of them you have to present as one of them.  This doesn't mean you have to pass 100% it means you just have to act like what you are a guy.  But this has to be authentic,and it doesn't mean you have to swill beer, thump your chest and make dirty jokes (althoughdirty jokes can be funny haha).  What it does mean is you absolutely have to present yourself as a male in both character and action. 

This can only be achieved if you truly feel like a guy.  That is what makes it authentic.
Clothing helps too and the way you talk to guys especially str8 guys will definately influence the way they treat you. Talk and act like a girl and they will treat you like a girl.
Act like a guy and you will be treated like one.  It's that simple.  It doesn't matter whether they know you were born biologically female or not.  Subconsciously how you act and present will influence how they treat you.

You don't have to act like a stereotype and you don't even need to come out to be treated like one of the boys trust me.  I have three brothers, I am out to none of them and apart from caling me "she" from time to time they all pretty much relate to me like another brother.

[tekla]

I'm not sure about that.  I work in a very male environment.  I mean women are party favors and pass-a-round treats, but not much more.  However, I do work with several women who are very good in this environment.  I'm not going to go into detail, but I will say what I see as common ground that the ones who get along with all that have.

1.  You don't have to party with us, but you have to party with us.  i.e.  You don't have to drink, or buy the beer, but you do have to hang.

2. They all seem to have come from a family where there were a lot of boys, and few girls, and are used to that rather crude and casual male kind of talk.  Men are just as sensitive as women are, it just takes them a few more minutes to get around to it.  "->-bleeped-<- You", is just another way of saying "Hi back at you too."

3. Part of what girls learn living with men is that guys tend to like to work.  Hard.  I don't know why.  I hate hard work.  Until I get with the guys, then somehow not letting down your comrades is very important.  No work, never any respect.