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gaydar does it exist

Started by krisalyx, December 31, 2008, 02:36:54 AM

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Jamie-o

Quote from: Pica Pica on January 06, 2009, 04:42:34 PM
this isn't a sterotype, it's a truth. practically every gay in london is a carbon copy of every other. Less so in other cities around the country.

That used to be the case in SF, as well.  Hence the phrase "Castro Clone".

Quote from: Zeo on January 06, 2009, 04:19:47 PM
I guarantee that 12 years ago we weren't running around being like "LOL gay! I knew all along!"



Not true.  My mom knew her brother was gay when he was 14 (in 1964) He didn't actually come out to her until he was in college.  (And then, only because she bullied him into telling her what was wrong, and why he'd been avoiding her.  Kinda let the wind out of his sails when her reply was, "Oh, is that all?  I've known that for years."  :D)

I stand by my original statement.  There are very subtle differences in voice inflection (especially) and mannerisms that one starts to recognize if one has been around gay people.  For the longest time I could usually spot gay men (having grown up around my uncle), but was clueless about Lesbians.  Once I had met a few Lesbians, though, I started to recognize them more readily as well.  Granted, it's not fool proof, and Transness often mis-reads as gayness, but the differences are too common to be coincidence.
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gothique11

I have good gaydar, and it's not always easy to pick out some people based on looks. I know women who look straight and are lesbian. I can usually tell if they send out signals or respond to mine -- it just kind of comes naturally, and I really can't explain it. I can usually tell if a woman is lesbian or not via signals. Saying that, sometimes you run into bi women, and I've met gay women who aren't very good with signals (noticing them, reacting to them, or giving them out). Just like straight people have signals, too, and some straight people don't respond at all.

I think it's just different cues one picks up. It's body language, mostly, and the way you look, speak, and so on can also have a role in that. We pick up or give out a lot of cues subconsciously. I find I don't purposely give them out.
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Laura Eva B

Glad I'm "straight" and can assume most guys who engage me in chat, buy me drinks, pay for my meal, want to bed me ...

Being gay sounds soo complicated.

Surely if you want to pick up a gay gal or guy you head for your local gay bars, clubs, restaurants ... ??? ...

laura x
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TamTam

That is a problem. :-\ It's one thing I never liked much about being gay.. that we can't just go around assuming that the people we like are physically able to like us back.  Straight people are lucky in that respect.

The first time I found myself in a room with other gay women, I was so tongue-tied and nervous.. ;D It was so odd being around women I knew could like me.
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Laura Eva B

OK I'm way out of my depth here ...

Just wish I knew why I'm in such a huge minority of "straight" M2Fs on this forum !

Never married, no girlfriends, no children, looking for a guy not a gal ...

...  ??? ...

laura x
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gilded

Laura Eva,

Do you believe that children of a certain age have Transdar?
Hope I'm not hijacking this thread... maybe we should start a "Transdar" thread...

G'gurl
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milliontoone

haha I like to think I have good gaydar but seriously I really don't think you can tell what sexuality people are just by how they look, what they say etc...although in some cases you may make a correct guess people are so much more complex than that and there are always going to be those who defy the stereotypes.
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gilded

I use to believe gays all had gaydar until I kept meeting screaming stereotypes who didn't know they were gay.

On the other hand, all the kids (school mates) knew Rock Hudson was gay in 1958.
A year before that, reading a collection short story. When I got to "Breakfast at Tiffany", I knew instantly she was a queen and I was too young to know there was such a thing as a T-room queen. talk about being read ha ha ha
err... you all do know that there's not a single female character in the film, right?

- G'gurl
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Pica Pica

a girl friend of mine styles herself holly golightly, she'd be interested in that theory.
'For the circle may be squared with rising and swelling.' Kit Smart
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gilded

DO NOT tell her unless you hate her.
And it's not a theory, see the movie/dvd. How many men can you read in the party scene?
In the 50's & 60's, NYC was full of kid's working the T-rooms, usually standing between the urinals. Any NYC queen would know that.

Quote from film, "Phony girls" and much much more.
You don't need gaydar you just had to be a man living in NYC in the old days.

- G'gurl
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Laura Eva B

Lots of gay guys make themselves so obvious, less so gay gals ?

Guess its about reading the closeted types ?

One of the cutest young guys at work was emotionally a "queen", but he had a devoted girlfriend ... guess I was the least shocked when he came out as gay, but it surprised me too !

Probably surprised girlfriend more ...

Laura x
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