How to start up going fulltime/RLE

[GnomeKid]

a lil background:
So I just got top surgery [woot] and would like to start hormones at some point in the near future, but do not currently have the funds for the therapy [to get a letter for HRT] or really for the T itself.  I also feel that getting some real life experience would definitely be a good idea before diving into the world of T.  Before top-surgery most people saw me as a guy if they didn't know me, but I was only out to my family and my roommate[who doubles as my ex and my best friend... I suppose triples then eh?]  I used surgery as an easy way to come out so by now most of my friends know, but I haven't really gotten to that point of switching pronouns and all that. 
So before this past semester[at university] I would not have felt that I could have passed as a biological male without hormones to lower my voice.  Mostly people correct themselves after I speak to them in length, but this semester my lab partner who I spoke to for about 2 hours straight once a week believed me as a male to the end [and I sure as hell didn't feel the need to correct him]  It was amazing to me that just because this one kid believed me a male no one else in the class questioned it[well accept the teacher but he was oblivious]  I am a bio and a theatre major and am just getting started in the bio dept and would like to start off on the right foot and just present as male in that dept so I don't have to come out later.

Questions/worries:
That all being said I realize that it is possible for me to pass without hormones, a name change, or I suppose top surgery but that needed to be done and I would not have wanted [personally] to have gone full time without it.  I know that my friends/peers I have come out to have no problems with the whole thing and would support me by using proper pronouns and such, openmindedness is a great aspect of the theatre dept and theatre people in general, but I don't know about the professors.  How, if I was to go fulltime without name changes or HRT, would I be able to get my professors and other faculty members to go along with this [what i consider] important step of my transition? 
If I were to go ahead and go full time at school what would you suggest should I do about restroom use?  I really just fear running into other students who I have had classes with in the past and may remember me as female..

also just any other general tips on how to make this switch would be greatly appreciated... I'm rather socially retarded [well not really once you know me I just have trouble with new people/situations]

I hope I didn't ramble too much...

kiswearimdone 

[Stephen]

I don't know about the university you are at but at mine I just tell them my preferred name whether it be privately before class or after they call it the first day of class. They don't use he but I didn't tell them specifically to. I have found that they are perfectly willing to use a different name.

[icontact]

I've come out at school and what I've done is email all my teachers, and a few previous teachers that I particularly liked and still visit every now and then, and tell them the basics, I am transgender, and would appreciate it if they could use male pronouns. As for students, I created a note on Facebook and tagged/messaged everyone on my friend list and told them to read it. As I'm friends with a good amount of people from each grade level, this took care of it pretty thoroughly, as word spread to the people I don't know. Most of my teachers/friends are supportive and are using pronouns, of course a rare few refuse, but hey, what can you do?

As for restroom use, you just gotta man up and use the right one. It completely kills your coming out if you still use the ladies' room. I've found that so little is known about transgenders, that when you come out, most people don't really know exactly what parts you have, and even if you tell them straight out, they still only see the outside, and if the outside is questionable, they're never quite sure of themselves what's underneath. Most people are too awkward to ask if you've had surgery or what parts you have, so just use the mens. Get in, get out, and try to avoid using bathrooms as much as possible. Swhat I do.

If you'd like a copy of my email to my teachers, and a copy of the note to my friends, PM. I'd be happy to share.

Hope this helped, --Asher.

[Stephen]

Oh, yeah forgot to tell you. I fortunately have a lot of gender neutral bathrooms at my university. granted I have a small campus but my counseling services even has a gender neutral so I just use that and asked where there were others and even went to talk to the dean of my department to figure something out for me which we did. 

[Ender]

Oh, yeah forgot to tell you. I fortunately have a lot of gender neutral bathrooms at my university. granted I have a small campus but my counseling services even has a gender neutral so I just use that and asked where there were others and even went to talk to the dean of my department to figure something out for me which we did. 

On the other hand, I've figured out which floors (and hence which bathrooms) are rarely used on my campus--same campus as mentioned above, btw.  I apparently fail at finding the gender neutral bathrooms--or maybe the buildings my major is housed in just fail in that respect.  At any rate, single-stall lockable bathrooms are close enough to gender neutral, I suppose.  Only problem is, they're still labeled 'men' and 'women.'  I sadly report that I still use the single-stalls that are labeled 'women' for the same reason the OP mentioned: I'm paranoid that a professor/student who knows me as female will see me using the mens room.

BUT, for a department you're just starting out in where nobody knows your past, just present as male from day one.   It'll make things much, much easier later on.  You say that your first department is theater. I would consider talking to the head of that department.  They might just be willing to be on-board with your transition, and it might make talking to professors & getting them on-board easier.  If I'm not mistaken, the head of a department has some power over the professors in that department...  And at any rate, you said the students in the theater department are supportive; I would honestly be surprised most of the professors weren't supportive.  You might get one or two tough eggs, but still: some supportive profs are better than none at all.

[tekla]

I taught in a major university for over a decade, and I assure you that a) the head of the department has little to no power over the professors, particularly those who have tenure.  And, b) could care less about you.  Oh, I'm sure they would sit and smile at you while nodding wisely and all, but they can't wait for you to get out of the office so they can get back to work.  In most departments people fight NOT to be the head. It's just an administrative job, pushing paper and singing forms, there is little power beyond that.

I'd honestly be shocked if any professor really cared at all.  I watched people go through changes, one year Goth, next year Phish shirts and tie-dye, oh I'm gay, god I'm straight, oh I'm so radical, oh I got a job at a major bank.  After seeing that stuff enough, you cease to care.  You figure that they are just running through the changes and it was not my province to care about where they were, or where they ended up.

It's your peer group that ought concern you.  And, as any professor will tell you, students don't listen to professors unless its going to be on the test, and even then.....

[Ender]

Ok, I stand corrected about the department head having any power.  Good to know.

I'd honestly be shocked if any professor really cared at all.  I watched people go through changes, one year Goth, next year Phish shirts and tie-dye, oh I'm gay, god I'm straight, oh I'm so radical, oh I got a job at a major bank.  After seeing that stuff enough, you cease to care.  You figure that they are just running through the changes and it was not my province to care about where they were, or where they ended up.

Sadly that's true, and I understand how it can happen.  Some profs I've had don't really give a rip about their students, and the feeling is mutual.  The profs just seem... tired of it all, disinvested or even disgusted with students.  Too many students just want a degree with little to no effort.  That being said, I've had some great professors who either genuinely cared about their students or at least put up a damn good front.  If you really want to tell your professors, if you really think that it will be helpful in your transition, I still say go for it.  Just go to their office and tell 'em; heck, even an e-mail would probably suffice.  Some might comply, and some probably won't. 

I've had good results with profs calling me by my preferred name if I didn't already know them; I just sent 'em an e-mail before the class started.  Getting profs who already know you as one name to switch might be more awkward.  I only bother with informing a prof of my preferred name if the class size is small.  It seems that there's little point in a huge class where the prof won't bother to learn your name anyways.  I do find that I enjoyed going to classes more when I wasn't constantly referred to as {female name}--one prof actually insisted we have name tags--and that I actually *wanted* to go to office hours to ask questions on material.  Otherwise, I've gotten to the point of avoiding whoever knows/treats me as female.  Probably not always the smartest thing...

[Stephen]

Ok, so my department is really weird. Oh wait, I knew that by the fact that profs I have never had before knows my name, annoying yes but it shows they care and no I have no idea how they manage to know everyone's names. I simply tell them my preferred name and they switch just fine but then I'm the third trans that they know that I know of. One having been a prof. in another department.

[tekla]

It seems that there's little point in a huge class where the prof won't bother to learn your name anyways.  I do find that I enjoyed going to classes more when I wasn't constantly referred to as {female name}--one prof actually insisted we have name tags--and that I actually *wanted* to go to office hours to ask questions on material.

I taught survey lectures with up to 400 students, two different sections, twice a year, that 1,600 names to learn, and it ain't happening, and for the most part, in those classes I never needed their name, my grad students did the interaction with them.  In smaller classes I would have them make name deals for their desk, so I could call on them - I told them to write exactly what they wanted to be referred to as. Some chose first names only, some more formal and of course, college students being college students one would always choose Bozo the Clown or something until they found me referring to them as Bozo, at which point they wrote something else.  (and hey, I was one of those students when I was an undergrad)

And a lot depends on the school.  I went to a private liberal arts college and I knew a lot of my professors, I went over to their houses, went out drinking with them and all that.  But, where I taught we had, not 5K students, but 27K undergrads, and that kind of relationship was reserved for my grad students.