A Little Blue

[stephanie_craxford]

I've had a really bad day.  We buried Jennifers moter-in-law today.  She died exactly one month after dancing with her son at his wedding to my daughter Jennifer.  Jenn and I are not making out so well, or at least I'm not.  Althought she said she is ok with me,  things just haven't been the same since I came out to her 3 weeks ago.  That's not a long time but it hurts so bad. She didn't even say hello to me today.  Now I know that there was a lot going on with the funeral and everything but Jenn still spoke with my wife Gillian.  I was thinking today that this has all been a huge mistake, I've never felt this way before,  I was so unhappy.  Anyway,  a friend quoted the following passage and although the words were not directed at me, reading them puts everything into perspective.
:

If you wander through a cemetery you see the results of the destinies of many people and often the stones have a name, a birth date, and a death date, with a hyphen separating the two dates. Its the hyphen that is the important part!

[Leigh]

I was thinking today that this has all been a huge mistake, I've never felt this way before,  I was so unhappy.

If you are thinking that this (transition?) has been a mistake, if it gets worse and many times it does, how are you going to deal with it then?

Transition past a certain point, isn't like Oz when you can click your heels together and go back home.

Leigh

[4years]

Hang in there Stephanie, all the best wishes I have...

[Cassandra]

Sorry to here you're blue Stephanie. I wouldn't let the days events get to you to hard though. This is a new thing for your daughter, she probably hasn't gotten her mind fully wrapped around the concept yet. On top of everything else she was probably feeling a little anxious by your prescence at the funeral as a woman. You know unsure how others would react and would she have to deal with it if they reacted badly. She was probably under a lot of stress. It has been after all a rather traumatic kind of day and she probably just did not want to have to deal with it right then. That is probably why she didn't say hello. I'm betting she'll be in contact with you soon or that the next time you see her all will be well.

I hope this helps.

Cassie

[stephanie_craxford]

Thank you 4years, and Cassie.  I was just feeling a little down is all and looking for a little support.  Thanks for that.  I've never professed that this journey is an easy one, but it's nice to know that there are those out there who understand.  The emotions of the day probably took over.  She is our only child and I was probably panicing, thinking that I had lost her.

[Denise01]

Stephanie:

Sorry to hear you are not feeling good  to-day, however iI think we are all here to help you if we can.
Hope things work out for you, and to-day iis only a minor set back,  Keep the faith and all will work out for you.

Denise Love
Frankford, Ontario

[kitten]

Darling Stephanie,

*Hugs and Kisses*

It's terrible having to bury people, i have never enjoyed it or ever will, i am noted for crying at weddings and funerals ... gee i made a soppy guy!

There are more potholes in the road of life, i am sure, but it is the only road that goes anywhere, and you still have your dearest friend with you ... your totally awesome wife.

Your daughter just reinforces the view that transition is a family affair, and it just isn't easy for her, i am sure that you were a terrific father to her and suddenly this bed-rock certainty that made her feel secure is gone in her mind, and she will take time to see that the love and support have not changed, just the form that they are encased within.

I know this because i can see the respect and affection you have already engendered in this forum, amongst relative strangers, for the awesome person that you are. 

I am willing to bet that your wife still thinks that she is very, very lucky to know you and have your love.

[beth]

You have not lost her Stephanie. she is your daughter and i know she loves you very much. A death in the family upsets everything and generally puts other things on hold. Her mind is on her lost mother-in-law and her husbands family. She may not have told all of her husbands family about you yet, you presented as a man at the wedding, so she may have been dealing with two stressful things at once. Do not let this get you down, you are doing so beautifully, and you will continue to do so. Jennifer will be back to her own self soon and all will be well.



love

beth

[stephanie_craxford]

Thanks everyone for your wonderful support.  I'm back on track today, everyone is a great help at time like these, and  that is why this board is one of the best places to be.  It was just a bump in the road, and I know there will be others,  It's nice to know that there are those of you out there who are there for me when I need it and of course you are there for everyone who needs support as well.

Thank you again.