When someone has a crush on you.

[Parker]

Okay, so there's this incredibly shy, insecure girl at my school who's trying to ask me out. The first time she asked me if I wanted to see a movie, and I told her I'd see if I wasn't doing anything else, but she never followed up. She'll probably ask me again later though; you can tell she's just intimidated. How do I explain to her that I have absolutely no interest in her? I don't know if I'm gay or trans or bi or whatever right now. I haven't come out to anybody else.

I'm thinking of just telling her I'm gay... seems simplest. (But it's weird that she would be the only one who knows I like guys.) Any suggestions?

[Nero]

um... just be honest with her.

[mina.magpie]

Maybe just be friends with her. As Nero says, be open and honest. Tell her that you're going through a really confusing period of self discovery yourself right now, and that it wouldn't be fair to anybody to get into a relationship but that you would be honoured if she would be friends with you. If you think she is trustworthy, take her into confidence about liking guys. She will appreciate the honesty, and will probably really appreciate the trust you're showing in her.

IMO, an extra friend is always a good thing, and who knows, you two may still be of huge help to one another.

Mina.

[Parker]

I knew any response would probably be along those lines, but thanks.

The problem is I really don't know how to talk about something like this seriously. I just kind of go along with the crowd and treat life like one big joke...

Plus the fact that I'm already friends with her makes serious conversation harder for me.

[mina.magpie]

Might I suggest writing her a letter? I don't know, I often used it when I was younger to communicate with people I couldn't face or whom I knew I'd get into arguments with or even just people I knew would duck the issue or make a joke out of it. It still works for me, though luckily I don't have to talk serious stuff that often these days.

Mina.

[aisha]

I agree with mina just tell her you are going through a wierd time and/or you just want to be friends , sad but everyone gets turned down some times, then you just got to move on .. I think writing a letter would make it into a bigger deal than it actually is but then again, you know better than us.

[Parker]

Thanks guys.  I've seen her again recently and she hasn't brought anything up. I don't know if it's the right thing, but I'm going to see if I can just let this one slide.