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Deep Andro Talk Thread

Started by Nero, January 20, 2009, 01:53:44 PM

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Eva Marie

Quote from: Pica Pica on January 23, 2009, 08:00:50 PM
it's also the latin name for the european m->-bleeped-<-ie...

and a font, and the compulsion to eat inedible things.

I liked the 4.23333 thing better than those other definitions......
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Nicky

... it is also how one particular Pokemon talks.

I'm still waiting for those lightningbolts Pica  ;)
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Simone Louise

According to Wikipedia:
Pica may refer to:
Pica (unit of measure), in typesetting and document layout
Pica (disorder), abnormal appetite for earth and other non-foods
Pica (genus), a genus of m->-bleeped-<-ie
Pica Press, a publishing imprint
Pica, Chile, city in the Tarapacá Region of Chile
Pica, Cumbria, a village in northwest England
Palestine Jewish Colonization Association, established by Edmond James de Rothschild
Píča, a geometric symbol used as a sexual reference in the Czech Republic and Slovakia
Pika, an animal in the order Lagomorpha, also known as rock rabbits or coneys
Pica, an alternative name for the grape Merille
DJ Pica Pica Pica (DJ 光光光), an alias used by Yamantaka Eye
Joe Pica, pianist

At the risk of repeating myself, one day toward the end of 8th grade I was at the home of my best friend, Jeanette, who was complaining that next year, in high school she would be required to wear dresses or skirts to school. As she continued complaining about such clothing, I sympathized, but allowed as how I had no experience wearing dresses. So, I wore one of hers the rest of the day. Her mother took a picture of me that is upstairs in my attic. I found it quite comfortable, but no, I did not pass. There's something about my face, bowed legs, and my hands and arms.

Pity. I pass for a man, but I'm not--not really. I remember complaining to Grete Zemans when we were six years old that I did not want my voice to change, nor did I want my face to sprout hair. And I remember standing in the drugstore, a young teenager, reading about the transformation of Christine Jorgenson. That appealed to me, but I had no intention of dating men, nor of presenting as a glamorous entertainer. I spoke of these feelings to no one.

I always thought that if I am not a man, I must be a woman, though I lacked a good idea of what that would be like. Stumbling on this group one year ago, I discovered that M and F are not the only alternatives. My body is clumsy, nobody's ideal, but it works, generally--and for that I am thankful and grateful. And I have very little body hair. Pica wrote recently of wanting to live to age 70; I am close enough to that age that I desire more than 70 years even though I, likely, will never look presentable in a two-piece swimsuit, a ball gown, or a woman's tailored suit.

My hope, then, is that my wife will treat me as her equal and best friend, and that, to borrow Pica's words, my friends here will think of me as cuter, prettier, far more graceful--oh, and maybe sweeter--than my actual embodiment. And that nobody will whip me!

S
Choose life.
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aisha

you know the people on here, and people of life in general and me ask a lot, so i guess I'm just grateful for questions and answers, and converesations and nonduality, mmhmm
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Lukas-H

Dysphoria - Yes, all the time. At times horrifically painful and causing trouble in many aspects of my relationship as well as social life. Elaborating takes too much time though ???

Pass - Yes and no. If I tried, maybe I could pass as a young/teenageish short, slightly skinny male, but when I don't try, almost all my customers call me Ma'am/Miss (stupid voice >:()
We are human, after all. -Daft Punk, Human After All

The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all. -Mulan
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tekla

Dysphoric

Not so much.  I learned the word rather late in life, and I guess I'm better off for not knowing it.  I always thought I was the other "D" word, 'different.'  And I've always been pretty much OK with it.  There were, if not a lot, at least a few different people I knew, so that helped.  When I got to HS I found people who liked at least some of it, and worked with that.   
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Pica Pica

I agree, people who are told they are supposed to be miserable, tend to be.
'For the circle may be squared with rising and swelling.' Kit Smart
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tekla

Abe Lincoln once said something to the effect that 'most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be' and might be right about that.  I had some things that were in my world that I could take advantage of, others that were kinda ruled out, but oh well, ya can't do them all.  So work at what you can, and don't sweat what you can't. 
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Nicky

Quote from: Pica Pica on January 26, 2009, 08:08:47 AM
I agree, people who are told they are supposed to be miserable, tend to be.

I think it would be dangerous to suggest this is true for everyone. (Though I am in a miserable frame of mind at the moment so everything is a bit grey   :'()

Therre are too many other factors at play. Some people are prone to being miserable for a whole range or reasons. I don't think it is a personal failing to sucumb. It would be inhuman to not feel some misery in the face of extreme pain or the pain of others.
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burgandy

#29
I guess I'll join in the fun.

Dysphoria:

Regarding my physical body, I'm somewhat dysphoric.  I'm pretty happy with my overall shape:  I'm thin and small boned for being male, which, while not as pleasant as having hips and a (small) set of breasts, is certainly better for my self-image than being burly and broad-shouldered.  For that, I'm immensely grateful.

The body hair just kills me though.  About two years ago, I started growing hair on my chest and shoulders; ick!  Fortunately for me, I have very light-coloured body hair and beard shadow.  YAY!

Passing, but as what?

I'm always happy when people perceive me as a woman, even though I'm not.  Without wishing to sound too loopy, I imagine myself -- my ideal self, anyways -- as a fairy.  (Not the gay man kind.)  Like the super-pretty, genderless, humanoid, graceful, winged critters?

I've never really "grasped" the gender concept; the "I'm a boy"/"I'm a girl" thing.  That's why I don't consider myself a transsexual, and that's why I'm not transitioning (physically):  It would be a major life change and a HUGE nuisance, when I'm not even really a woman.  In some ways, it'd be very nice not to have people thinking of me as a man -- and it'd be really cool if I could rename myself "Audrey" -- but in others, it's rather nice being a not-man in a male body; I like to think that my existence will in some small way erode the whole gender thing.  If I transitioned, I'd just pop back into the normal gender continuum without having made a difference, and since for me, it isn't a HUGE identity issue, I think I might be able to live with that.

But as I was supposed to be saying, regarding passing, in androgynous dressy clothing, it all depends on context, but it averages out to be about equal man/woman.  Until very recently, I hadn't worn distinctly feminine clothing for anything besides shopping, so I don't have much to go on.  Earlier this semester, I heard one of my TAs refer to me as "she", although I'm not sure if he still thinks I'm a girl.  (The person to whom he was speaking knows me as "he", but he didn't say anything.  And yes, it was funny to watch.  I had a very hard time keeping a straight face.)

I'd always thought my voice gave me away; I have a very high voice for being male -- I *never* get called "sir" on the phone -- and when I'm happy and comfortable, I sound like a woman, but I felt like I talk in a lower-pitched voice when I'm angry or very serious.  But I just remembered that the 911 dispatch operator called me "ma'am" when I called the police on my neighbours, and I was certainly serious and angry.

I think that I've rambled far too much, and I apologise.  It's way past my bed-time, but I felt like working through my thoughts a bit.  I do want to ask a question, if anyone's got this far:  If I spend the rest of my life with testicles, what other wonders are in store for me?  Like I said, I'm passably pretty.  Will that change much?  Aside from baldness and ear hair, do I have much to fear?  And is there anything that getting an orchi -- which I *can* afford and handle -- at a young age (22) would help with in this department, or ward off any unforeseen masculinisation?

Good night and thanks,

  - Burgundy
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Pica Pica

Quote from: Nicky on January 26, 2009, 01:43:03 PM
Quote from: Pica Pica on January 26, 2009, 08:08:47 AM
I agree, people who are told they are supposed to be miserable, tend to be.

I think it would be dangerous to suggest this is true for everyone. (Though I am in a miserable frame of mind at the moment so everything is a bit grey   :'()

Therre are too many other factors at play. Some people are prone to being miserable for a whole range or reasons. I don't think it is a personal failing to sucumb. It would be inhuman to not feel some misery in the face of extreme pain or the pain of others.

Welkl of course, misery is a genuine emotion and can be caused by lots of things. But it does seem to be true that people who expect to be miserable are more likely to be so. My dad just got a letter, where the family (mum, dad and 10 yr old son) have all been hospitilised for stress, despite the fact their lives are no more stressful than anyone elses. This is because the family have a culture for stress, they expect stress, they almost welcome stress as a certainty. And there are people the same with miserableness.
'For the circle may be squared with rising and swelling.' Kit Smart
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