Passing too well?

[Amur]

So here's my situation: I know I pass pretty well.  I haven't had anyone call me "ma'am" in years, and unless I speak I don't even get any odd looks.  But as far as my family is concerned, I am, at most, a crossdresser who likes a lot of things that are traditionally male (video games, reptiles, guns, knives, etc.).

However, I'm beginning to wonder if there is such a thing as passing too well.  I'm not planning on coming out to them until I can live on my own.  So when my little cousin started referring to me as 'he' when I took him to a card shop last month, I just let the family assume that he was a little kid who didn't know better and didn't bother correcting him when we were alone. 
Then two weeks ago, at a funeral, two of my other cousins started saying 'he' as well.  As I was in charge of keeping the children from bothering the adults, luckily no one else heard and I avoided having to say anything.

But today, while I was out with my mother, she accidentally called me 'sir'.  She realized a minute later and apologized, and we just laughed it off.  I'm hoping that when I do come out she'll have already guessed, but then I also had thought that she knew I was a crossdresser before I commented on it a year after she started buying me boxers instead of female underwear.

So has anyone else ever had to deal with a situation like this?

[Lachlann]

Uh, well, does it bother you that they use male pronouns or something?

[Amur]

No, but I do want to avoid a situation where I'd have to come out soon.  Some members of my family probably won't react well, and I was kinda hoping to have moved far, far away before telling anyone (in one case, another continent would probably be safest).  And once my mother knows, everyone who has ever met me will know because she isn't all that great at keeping her mouth shut.

[Lachlann]

Maybe I'm just not getting it, but there are people who aren't trans who get 'sired' and whatnot. It's not a trans only thing.

At the most, they'll probably ask if you're gay, but that's just as silly. Not every lesbian dresses like a butch and not every gay man dresses effeminately. I don't think you really have anything to worry about.

Unless, of course, you live in a country or area where this is odd, but from what I've noticed in your post no one seems to have a real problem with this. They call you male pronouns without asking and well, from what you've said, it looks as though they don't have any issues with it.

If you make a big deal about it, it will be a big deal.

[icontact]

Is moving so far away that realistic of a goal? As in, are you likely to be moving far enough away to handle coming out? If yes, then just deny everything and avoid questions. If no, suck it up and deal. You're going to have to come out eventually, especially when you pass.

[Amur]

I live in an extremely prejudiced bit of the appalachian mountains.  Around here, everyone is either an upright christian or a redneck or both.  The only reason I've gotten away with going around looking male is because my family are excusing it as being safer for me since I spend so much time hiking alone in areas where a single female would be seen as an easy target.  I doubt that most have even heard of ftms.  If they knew I was planning to change my body, some would probably attempt an exorcism. 

As for getting far enough away- Alaska sounds good.

[soldierjane]

The closest large urban center is probably much safer than where you live, and you don't have to move to Alaska (besides, I hear it's not the most accepting place).

If you're passing so well, I'd be prepared to come out soon at least to your mother. The last thing you want her to feel is that calling you "sir" or "he" would be something weird, ridiculous or far-fetched.

Good luck.

[Kayden]

An answer to the question, did anyone already guess by the time you came out? Yes.  My mother had figured it out by the time I came out to her.

If your mother doesn't react badly to the situation before you come out to her and it seems like she already knows, the likelihood of her reacting completely off the wall is unlikely. (I'm not saying it's impossible).  Keep in mind, however, that no matter how ready a parent thinks he or she is, they will still go through a grieving process.