I used to be a man

[Butterfly]

I used to be a man
The Guardian, UK
By Kate-Craig Wood
24 January 2009


http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/experience-gender-change


As a boy, my perception of transsexuals was of burly men in dresses; unfortunate people who didn't fit into society and were a source of ridicule. So when I realised that I wanted to be a girl, I was appalled and deeply ashamed. I first became aware of it aged 11, when puberty kicked in. I was developing differently from my sister and I had a powerful feeling that I wanted to be like her.

I tried wearing a dress but it was unfulfilling - there was still a boy looking back at me in the mirror. I never believed it was possible to satisfy my yearning to be a woman, so I made a conscious decision to suppress it. I studied biomedical science at university and projected a strong, intellectual image. I always stayed in control and avoided alcohol - I was afraid I would reveal the "real" me, a more effusive, warmer person who loved the colour pink.