Discrimination

[MOODYGIRL]

I get this every day (as well all do). There is not a day that goes by where I don't get a nasty or dirty look. I am in shock that I am not locked up. I have a bad temper. I do lash out at them also 99% of the time. I don't keep the thoughts in my head. I mean it's like do they ever thing that you get this veryday. I mean one day one of us guys are going to snap I mean REALLY SNAP. You get sick of it up to a point. They have some right to act or look shocked when I say "What the fu*k you looking at". I pray everday I don't really snap on someone.

How do the rest of you deal with people like these. And I live in Maryland.

[mickie88]

hi, MOODYGIRL, welcome to Susan's. we are here to help in whatever way we can.



yeah i can kinda relate. my workplace isn't very trans-friendly. in fact they hate anything that has to do with their employees but will make sure the customer is taken care of 110%, which ticks me off. how can you have a respect the individual policy if you do the opposite of what a person asks.

i work with an almost 80 year old man, who says if he's thinking about it, he can remember to use proper pronouns, but also going around making comments if customers question my gender and i find them rude. and now he's going around telling other associates i use to be so and so and it'll soon probably get me killed because "he doesn't realize what he's doing." if you don't know what you're doing don't do it. and yes i'm almost to the point of lashing out at him cuz he's the only one i know other than two other people who screw it up, cuz according to their hr department they are supposed to go by whats on the computer, which ticks me off because thats a lack of respect as far as i'm concerned.

i'm not sure of your entire situation, but i would try a lot harder to control your tongue and not alienate everyone around you, some of those people could be your allies in the future and you want as many people on your side as you can.

[Hypatia]

Gee, and to think our kind is so unfairly stereotyped as grouchy and irritable... YA THINK??

Well, can you blame us?! 

Because of this, I make a serious priority of going contrary to the stereotype by being sweet and gentle with the rest of humanity, even when my heart is breaking inside or I feel like pushing someone's face through the back of their head. I feel a need to show that we can rise above the constant ill treatment. Like black people have had to do in the face of systemic racism for centuries. Remember the scene in Malcolm X where he's working as a waiter on a train... and he's serving some white guy who makes a racist comment to his face... and the movie shows Malcolm's fantasy of smashing the tray of food into his face... but he just smiles and says "Yas suh" like he's expected to... and then goes on to become a feared black revolutionary. 

Edit, Karen...

[Jay]

Welcome to Susans!


It is hard but you do have to keep your mouth shut. I tend to smile to be honest! Cant think of the good ol' saying. But it does keep them wondering!

[gennee]

Don't let other people's negativity ruin your day. If they have a problem with who you are, that's on THEM.

Gennee

[pinkbubblegum]

I have had similar things happen at times generally people dont bother me but and i have lashed out one or
two times big time even got arrested the once cause of some guy, its usually the younger guys and gurls...I
think at times most are scared just incase they may like you.....imagine that .

I had to leave my job thou 2 months ago cause of people there, they all had bad attitudes towards transgender
and were very hetrosexual and homophobic i just laugh at people like that .

I live in birmingham, england, uk and YES it can be hard here if you can blend in thou its kewl and most
people accept you

pinkbubblegum xXx

[GQjoey]

This use to bother me a LOT! Now that I've been on T, I don't get stared at much, but when I do, like another poster said, I smile. Or stare back until they look away, usually when you stare back at someone, who's blatantly staring at you, they get uncomfortable and look away. Plus who doesn't like a good staring contest!
What helped me get over this, was dating a girl for 2 years, who was black, me being white. You'd think in California, of all places, people wouldn't be as "shocked", but let me tell you, we got hell. I remember the first time we were out in public, at Universal Studios, I really felt like we were on a stage with thousands of people looking directly at us, it was extremely uncomfortable. After a good 3-4 months, I stopped noticing. I was so used to it, it no longer bothered me. It wasn't my problem, it was THEIRS. Sometimes people just aren't used to seeing something "different" so they stare. Not so much because they think you're a freak, but because it's new to them.
If the GLBT community got angry/sad everytime someone looked at them funny, we'd have to be mad, 24/7, 365 days a year. It's not worth it. As hard as it is, put a smile on your face!