help me understand

[klampner1961]

i know my best freind is taking hoemones and looks at m2f sites. he dosent know that anyone knows. i care alot about him and it makes me sad to think he feels so alone. the odd thing to me is that he talks about having sex with women. he is married and i know he dosent mess around and he and his wife are not that active in the bedroom. anyway if he is into women why is there a need to be one seems to me it just complicates things even more.

[Janet_Girl]

I responded to your other posting and to this one, I will say that many of us girls are lesbian.  And I am bi.  So it doesn't surprize me at all that he/she is into woman.

Janet

[klampner1961]

i suspect he may be bi. he has looked at me in that way before and i was to scared to respond...

[mina.magpie]

Sweetie, sexuality is who you like, gender identity is who you are. They're two different things. I could be the last person on earth and I'd still be gender dysphoric because my internal "sense" of myself doesn't match my body. I knew I was a girl loooooooong before I even knew what attraction was, let alone experienced it.

This post: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,53623.0.html goes into alot of detail about it, and hopefully it will make the whole concept a bit clearer.

Hugs sweetie,

Mina.

[Jessie_Heart]

i suspect he may be bi. he has looked at me in that way before and i was to scared to respond...

You state that this person doesn't know that you know about them, maybe your best bet would be to let them know that you know and you are not going to stop being thier friend over gender issues. As far as being afraid to respond to thier "look" if it ever comes up if you are not interested let them know and if they are a true friend they will respect your boundries. It seems to me you are trying to be a good friend by collecting information and trying to understand what they are going through I think it would help this person to know that they have such a good friend.

[Lacey Lynne]

Sweetie, sexuality is who you like, gender identity is who you are. They're two different things. I could be the last person on earth and I'd still be gender dysphoric because my internal "sense" of myself doesn't match my body. I knew I was a girl loooooooong before I even knew what attraction was, let alone experienced it.

This post: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,53623.0.html goes into alot of detail about it, and hopefully it will make the whole concept a bit clearer.

Hugs sweetie,

Mina.

These are tremendous words of wisdom.  I second what she says here ... most definitely.

Hugs!