Androgynes: What would you do differently in the opposite sex body?

[Jaimey]

The only things I can stand to do are shave and nair.  Everything else just hurts too much...I'm not a fan of pain.  I do pluck my eyebrows, but even that is painful.  Makes my eyes water...

[Constance]

The only things I can stand to do are shave and nair.  Everything else just hurts too much...I'm not a fan of pain.  I do pluck my eyebrows, but even that is painful.  Makes my eyes water...

Hmm, I'm not a real big fan of Nair. But, maybe I just haven't experimented with it enough yet.

[Simone Louise]

Just wondering if the genes or hormones would effect two behaviors where my wife and I differ.

If I see I can help, I do. My wife expects me to ask, "How can I help?" as she would do.

My wife asks me, and often other friends, "What should I wear?" I go to my closet and pick. Actually, she asks a lot of questions like that. As a manager, she has a collaborative style, which I have heard is typical of female people. Or maybe, these behaviors reflect that she is extraverted and I am INFP?

S

[Lukas-H]

Just wondering if the genes or hormones would effect two behaviors where my wife and I differ.

If I see I can help, I do. My wife expects me to ask, "How can I help?" as she would do.

My wife asks me, and often other friends, "What should I wear?" I go to my closet and pick. Actually, she asks a lot of questions like that. As a manager, she has a collaborative style, which I have heard is typical of female people. Or maybe, these behaviors reflect that she is extraverted and I am INFP?

S

I think the reasons between your differences could be a little bit of everything. I'm tending to go towards the fact that you say she is extroverted and collaborative whereas you are the opposite. I'm INFP too, extremely introverted. The only time I ever say "How can I help you?" is when I'm at work, because that's what they want us to say; it 'seems' far more friendly than offering your help without asking someones 'permission'. If I had my way though, I would do my best to avoid dealing with other people at all, but taking this job and having to do this sort of thing is helping me a little (I think) in dealing better with social situations.

I was so terribly inept before and still am, and while I don't have much desire to improve on that, I think I probably should for my sake.

[imaz]

Do differently?

Not very much I guess, might give it a try with a couple of my lesbian friends and that's about it...!

[RN1814]

Nothing different~~

[V M]

My whole life would have been different and probably happier

[Susan]

Many of you are going to find this insulting. It's not my purpose to attack any individuals or groups.

Several posts from one or more of the pages in this thread are clearly Transsexuals in denial. Androgyne is about the merging, blending, or nullification of gender traits. Not what basically amounts to transsexuality light.  If you are a androgyne and were born in a male or a female body, it wouldn't matter. Why? Because Androgyne is all about reaching the middle. Several androgynes in this thread got it exactly right. While others said if they got a body of the other gender they would focus on gender binary typical roles for that gender.

This is the part some may find insulting but again that isn't my intention.

There is no stigma attached to transsexuality other than what YOU allow to be. Any stigma is all in your mind. So if you are a transsexual hiding in Androgyne clothing looking for an easy way out, it's time to look at come out of the androgynous closet, and be what, and most importantly who you really are!

The funny thing is while I don't identify in that manner, this same statement could be aimed directly at me as well.

Oh I am female and as such dress in my gender role on a daily basis but I do it in an androgynous manner. I aim for the middle so that those who don't know I am a transsexual won't figure it out. Oh the clues are there if you look, including the breasts which HRT blessed me with, but most people don't look beyond the surface.  I have many reasons. I know of at least two GLBT murders in my community since 1990. I don't want any confrontations, I just want to blend in. Sure friends and family know but other than that I keep to my self. Basically what I am saying is don't get too upset, because I am standing right there in with those I am castigating.

[RebeccaFog]

I have no issue with your opinion, Susan.

I've always figured that for some people, the androgyne place is a part of the trip they haven't yet begun to understand.

[Shana A]

This is the part some may find insulting but again that isn't my intention.

There is no stigma attached to transsexuality other than what YOU allow to be. Any stigma is all in your mind. So if you are a transsexual hiding in Androgyne clothing looking for an easy way out, it's time to look at come out of the androgynous closet, and be what, and most importantly who you really are!

Susan,

I didn't find anything you said insulting. In my own journey of 16 years since I came to the realization of being transgender, I've done considerable soul searching to make sure that I'm not simply in denial about being TS in identifying as androgyne.

Where I currently find myself to be is that I'm most likely TS, however decided not to do HRT, etc. While I'm not comfortable as male, I'm also not far enough on the spectrum to feel that I'm a woman. I'm somewhere in between, maybe around 60% female-40% male. I also accept that my feelings are subject to change and if they do, I'd act accordingly.

Z

[Nicky]

I do think there will be some transexuals here. Now Androgyne may be about merging and blending but in practice there are all sorts. My experience has been that there is not one way of being non-binary. Perhaps some of us are gender queer women in male bodies, Jillgirl men in a female boday, psychologicaly androgynous in terms of gender but physically transexual, ftm cross dressers in a male body, androgynous mid-dressers. There are a wide range of ways of being.  I think a lot of what we are seeing here is people saying that if they were the oposite sex they would more permissive for them to do things they always wanted to do or try. But I think what they would find is some of the things they like to do now are no longer as permissive.

[V M]

I just plain don't have the funds for srs yet. So I stay in the middle until I can afford my place of comfort.

[Nicky]

I just plain don't have the funds for srs yet. So I stay in the middle until I can afford my place of comfort.

So what makes you identify as an andrgogyne?

[V M]

The way I see myself. The comments from others regarding my Androgynous appearance. I'm actually still rather undecided as to if I will ever actually get srs. I've only recently even thought about it. I'm still in the learning and deciding stages of things. I don't claim to be an expert like some I've noticed around here

[mtfbuckeye]

I'd probably embrace androgyny more enthusiastically if I was female bodied.. Wearing jeans and sweatshirts and sneakers most days, but showing off my feminine side when I wanted to (makeup, hair done, dresses, etc)... Just look at Diane Keaton in Annie Hall.. she wore boy clothes most of that movie and was still radiantly beautiful..

I've always been very attracted to the smart, geeky tomboy type of woman.. maybe it's because that's who I want to be

[Nicky]

I've always thought of androgyne as my 'gender inside' rather than my expression. Doesn't matter how you dress it up you are still you. A woman is still a woman even if they look like a man and like to do manly things e.g. Susan is still a woman despite the androgynous role they play.

In my view Androgyne, as my genderqueer non-binary gender, is on par with being Male or Female. 'Androgyne' as an expression or role is something different.

How many of you would still call yourselves androgyne if you looked and acted and dressed like a boy or a girl 100% of the time? I would. If not then you're probably an 'androgyne' by expression or role rather than internal gender.  I think this is a really important distinction to make.

Something that probably muddies the waters is dyphoria. The desire/craving/pain for a body that you don't have. I don't think there is a clear middle you can point at and say 'that is androgyne'. So birth sex makes a big difference depending on what your target is. For many it is a fuzzy target anyway. For some it will be closer than others. Your target might be closer to the other sex so changing sex would be better than what you currently have. Then there will be those that want the body of the opposite sex but still identify as an androgyne in terms of their internal identity. They could be transexuals, they could also be androgynes at the same time can't they?

[Shana A]

I've always thought of androgyne as my 'gender inside' rather than my expression.

That's how I see it. Identifying as androgyne has nothing to do with my external expression. Although it does inform how I might wish to express it.

Something that probably muddies the waters is dyphoria. The desire/craving/pain for a body that you don't have. I don't think there is a clear middle you can point at and say 'that is androgyne'. So birth sex makes a big difference depending on what your target is. For some it will be closer than others. For many it is a fuzzy target anyway. Then there will be those that want the body of the opposite sex but still identify as an androgyne in terms of their internal identity. They could be transexuals, they can also be androgynes can't they?

Yes, I believe that one can be both. I've thought of doing HRT to bring my body more in sync with my internal sense of who I am, but still don't feel myself to be either gender.

Z

[mtfbuckeye]

This thread is food for thought for me.. because I rarely, if ever think "I AM a woman.." Sometimes I think that I somehow SHOULD have been a woman from birth, or that I'd like to be perceived as and related to as a woman, or that I'd like to look and feel like a woman.... but that 100%, steadfast, know in my bones that I AM A WOMAN feeling? I've never had that.

I wonder what that means, if anything? I guess right now I'm most comfortable thinking of myself as trans, but in a permanent rather than transitory sense...

[Nicky]

Yeah, I don't think things are all that clear cut as people think they are.

I have a theory that maybe a lot of woman and men are born with a body that matches close enough to their internal need, the role and expression open to them in society give them enough breathing space, that they never have reason to question their gender/expression/behaviour. But if given the freedom they would be more than they are and might even wonder what the hell a man or woman is anyway. Imagine, for example, the freedom people have to dress up at heloween was all year round. The world would be a much different place.

I'm not saying that men and woman don't exist, because I definitly think they do and are likely to be the majority, more that the boundaries could be a lot fuzzier than people think. Who knows. We might just happen to be on the fringes mtfbuckeye. I think things will become clearer as you go along.

[JD]

I think that there wouldn't be too many changes if I could switch bodies right now (other than looking a lot better than I do now when dressing up). I'd probably the  advantages of being a woman and then go back to being same old me.

I wonder what that means, if anything?

To me, that seems entirely normal. There are days where I feel normal, days where I wish I was different and usually the days between where I think "WHAT THE HECK AM I". I suppose that only means we're consiously dealing with our troubled insides.

For me the central point of the question in this topic is wether I'd be happier in a female body or not. And on that question, the answer is simple. No, this body of mine, although not perfect gives me all the freedoms that i need.