Sorry about the empty topic, Susan's has been uncooperative for me.
Most of you should know what's been going on from my previous thread, but for those who don't, I came out to my school about a month and a half ago, and everyone has been great about it except my PE teacher. I've sent my principal an email about it, wanted to post a copy here in case anyone was interested, or needed some help with doing something similar. She's replied, but was unclear on one point, so I'll update with a more accurate reply when I get it.
Not sure whether this belonged in here, activism, or discrimination so mods move if necessary.
It's quite long.
-----------------------------------------------------
Dear Ms. Lastname,
You know me as Sam Lastname; I'm on Principal's Advisory Council. I am a FtM [female-to-male] transgender, which means that I was born with a female body but identify as male.
I still use the girls' locker room because I wouldn't feel uncomfortable in the guys', and am sure that I would get plenty of inappropriate comments. However, I was wondering if I am allowed to use the guys' restrooms. Girls' restrooms simply aren't an option anymore, as I don't feel comfortable, and always get strange looks from the girls in there. I stopped using the girls' restrooms at the beginning of this school year for those reasons, and am now limited to using the bathroom during PE, which can get extremely inconvenient.
One of my friends, Firstname Lastname, the president of GSA, has told me that she's talked to you about getting a unisex restroom on campus. I'd like to add my sentiments and say that this could make my life infinitely easier. I cannot explain how difficult it is without access to either set of restrooms.
I came out about being transgender at the beginning of December to all my current teachers, a few I've had in the past, and all the students at Highschool that I know. For the most part, everyone has been supportive and are trying their best to use male pronouns. I've been very surprised by the response, as some people are even using my desired name, Asher, despite my deciding not to make a big deal about that for various reasons.
However, one of my teachers, Ms. Lastname, has been giving me a hard time about all this. I came out to her the Monday after the weekend I came out to the rest of the world because she does not use Schoolloop very often, which was how I came out to my teachers. She told me that she wasn't sure about the whole deal, and said she would stop calling me "miss." I then asked her about pronoun usage, and she avoided the subject, and simply repeated that she would stop using "miss." Then on Thursday of that week, we were doing sit-up tests, and she managed to use "she" thirteen times, and "miss" twice, in the space of two or three sentences when referring to me. She did not bother to correct herself once. I understand that it will take a while for people to get used to using male words, but I find it impossible to believe that one can make that mistake, that many times in a row. This does not help me in the long run as well, since if students hear an authority figure ignoring my wishes, they tend to think that I was just kidding and that they can get away with it as well.
I approached her after class and asked her why she was refusing to use male pronouns. She told me that she needed time to get used to the idea. I pointed out how hard it is to believe that she could have made so many mistakes in such a short period of time, whereas all my other teachers immediately began correcting themselves on the first mistake. She repeated that she needed some time, and proceeded to tell me that she could not be forced to believe that I am actually transgender unless I got a doctor's note. I told her I could get a doctor's note, and asked whether she would use male words then. Upon hearing this, she changed her mind again, and then told me that unless I could show her proof that I have officially changed my gender on paperwork, she has no reason to believe me. At this point, I found the conversation completely ridiculous, because it is impossible to change my gender on paper before getting chest reconstruction surgery. Even assuming my parents accepted me, which they do not, this is impossible to do while I am still a minor. So I ended the conversation and told her I understood that she needed time, and agreed to give her a few weeks to get used to the idea.
Ever since this happened, she has not used male words or bothered to correct herself at all. Normally, I would not be too fussed about this; you can't get universal acceptance. However, she has continued to rub in the fact that I am not "really" a guy, and often points out how we only have two gentlemen in the class, and how they should aim for higher goals than the ladies in the class. I understand that without hormones, I can never measure up to biological guys physically, but I use the same weights as the other two guys in my class, and she knows this. She has noticeably increased the amount of times she uses the word "she" and "ladies" when referring to me, or a group I'm in.
This is not the first time she has acted in this manner towards me. Last year, I was out as a gay female. She knew this, and also knew that I was extremely uncomfortable during the ballroom dance unit while dancing with guys. When we began the unit, she said that it was okay for girls to dance with girls if they felt uncomfortable. But as the days went on, she refused to let any of the girls dance with girls, and was more insistent when it was me or two other girls who were bisexual who asked. She denied that she ever said anything of the sort. Whenever we had an uneven number and a girl volunteered to dance with a girl, she ignored her and instead had a girl sit out or took it upon herself to dance with the girl.
I am very frustrated about all of this, and do not know what else I can do. I have utmost respect for Ms. Lastname as a teacher, and do feel that she does genuinely care about her students. But whenever it comes to homosexuality or transsexuality, she has always been difficult. I know that there are many other students with similar complaints, and everyone that I've told about this has also found her behaviour highly inappropriate. I would really appreciate anything that could be done about this.
Thank you for your time,
Sam [Asher] Lastname.
