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[Anima]

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[tekla]

What you like to do, say cooking or glitter stickers, is a matter of taste and not identity.  I know a lot of girls/women, both here in my job, but also back in Iowa who grew up on farms who could weld, fix anything, and were not much into what is considered 'girl stuff' who are no less girls/women for that.

[Eva Marie]

Welcome Anima!

You have a lot of questions and i'm sure that a person better qualified than me will be along to answer some of them

[Janet_Girl]

Hi Amina,   

Welcome to our little family. Over 1660 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion. Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers.  Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now.  And it is always nice to have another member.   

As to your post.  Get thy hence to a gender therapist.  You are having a lot of questions that need to be explored.  And like Tekla said many women enjoy 'manly' pursuits.  Many men enjoy 'feminine' pursuits.  I am still the 'handy man', even though I am in transition and I will always be.  Work on the car, do plumbing and electrical work.  Construction.  But I am still a woman.

Oh God I did it again. ~giggling~ Agreeing with Tekla.

Janet

[Ellieka]

Hi Anima,

Your story has a lot of similarities to mine. One major difference is that I have always know I was a girl. There are cases where people develop a Gender Identity disorder later in life, you may be one such case.

Here is what I would do. Try cross gender dressing just once. Nothing major, maybe just a cute top or women's jeans, just to see how it makes you feel. If it repulses you then your most likely NOT transgendered but if you discover you do like it or it "just feels right" then I think you got some real thinking to do.

One other though is that you may just be a bisexual effeminate man. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I like fem guys with long hair.

[Anima]

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[Sephirah]

Honey, don't automatically assume that who you're attracted to will change if you discover you're actually internally female.

There are as many different women as there are stars in the sky; everyone is unique, and you don't have to tick all the boxes on a 'checklist of supposed womanliness' to qualify.

I would advise paying more attention to your dreams, as they are often signals from the subconscious. As well as looking into a gender therapist, start to think about your own feelings when you recall the dream you had, about the way you feel when you see yourself as female. Keep sexuality out of it for the moment, because that just confuses things, and think about the other experiences you would go through as a woman, and how that makes you feel inside.

Oh... and welcome to the site. *hugs*

[Janet_Girl]

Begin by keeping a dream journal. Keep it by your bed.  When you have a dream.  Write it down, in as much deal as you can remember. You can then look back at it for insight.  It is an old witches trick for dream divination.

Janet

[Wendy C]

Welcome to Susans Anima. I would echo the setiments of seeing a Therapist, preferably one that has other transgender clientel and is sympathetic. I would not necessarilly count the test you took as being infallible, they are general in nature and only a qualified Therapist given what you have disclosed can make that deterimation in my humble opinion.

In the mean time, I suggest you do some more research. Look at www.wpath.org and check out the resources here at Susans. The transgender shoe is big and one size doesnt fit all. I do hope you find your way and maybe others here will add there two cents also. You do have valid questions. Hugs

Wendy

[Ellieka]

Something else to consider. There is nothing wrong with being androgynous. Personally I think it sad that society says "your male dress this way, your female dress that way."

You do what makes you happy. A wiccan saying:

"and it harm none, do what thy will"

Lots of trans people never change their sexual orientation.

[V M]

Hi Amina and welcome

Believe it or not, I have had some similar experiences. ie:
Boys trying to rape me in the high school locker room
Guy's randomly kissing me and feeling me up
Dreams of being a woman and being pregnant or being a soccer mom w/kids
Dreams of intimacy.
OK, so I look and act like Susie Homemaker and folks think I'm a tomboy kinda girl. So what. "I am who I am" The type of person (male or female) your attracted to is not likely to change. So just be yourself and do what is right for you.
Self acceptance can be the most difficult hurdle. I'm sure you can handle it

[burgandy]

Hello Anima!!  * Gives shy hug. *

You sound more androgynous than anything to me, which is totally awesome!  You should come party with us all in the Androgyne forum -- Pica Pica's starting a company of misfits!  I'm going to be the homeless psycho that digs through the dumpster and finds cool things; shhhh!! he doesn't know yet!

But in all seriousness, the only one who can determine what you are is you.  Do you think of yourself as a man (I noticed you referred to yourself as such), whatever being a "man" is to you?  Do you want to be a woman, or be thought of as one?  Do you just want to be yourself, and not care what the world thinks?

Give yourself time.  Look at all the wonderful different gender experessions are possible.  You don't have to be anything that anyone else says you are.  You can be a man, hunt deer, and carry a pink purse if you wanted.

Don't be a stranger.

   - Burgundy

Isn't "anima" Latin for soul?

[Anima]

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[Ellieka]

We're all glad your here too, Anima. I read your words and I heard my own thoughts echoed from about 5 years ago. I felt the same way, that I had to try to behave the way society demanded I should as a man. I dealt with that mental anguish for more then 30 years before I came to terms with it. I felt like I could never be the beautiful, happy woman on the outside as I was on the inside, so why should I even try? It wasn't until just last year that I started to accept my inner self as my true self.

If you spend your whole life trying to please society you will fail because you will be miserable inside and that will make you bitter on the outside to those very people you want to please. Society used to say women should have no right to vote in public elections but we all know now just how wrong society was. Society used to say that black people we less human then white people, but now we have a great black president. Screw society, you have to live your life for you and you only.

An androgynous person is one that does not conform to either sex, not completely male or female but some place in between.  Androgynous people ignore the gender binary pushed on us by society and they live full and happy lives because they are true and honest with them selves.

[V M]

There is no good reason to fight until someone gives you good reason. Then unleash all that pent up anx upon the aggressor. Always made me feel pretty good 

Especially when I was wearing a dress and pumps