I'm 49. I transitioned a year and a half ago. It was totally transition or die for me.
I do not slag off anyone else for their decisions. I trust each individual to make the best decisions for herself. But I hate it when my family applies pressure on me-- first to stop transitioning, and now, to detransition. They hear stories (often promoted by right-wing Christian media) of those who detransition, and convince themselves that I can and ought to do the same. They maintain this idea to deny my compelling need to be who I am. So the example set by non-transitioners and detransitioners is not problem-free for me. I respect the decisions of others about how to live their lives-- but others do not accord me the same respect for my life. So I've lost my family. Well, that's just tough. But it couldn't be helped.
The incentive of keeping my family was not enough to stop me from transitioning. Why? Because if I could not transition, I would rather be dead, and I surely would be dead. And that would not be of any benefit to my family either!
I suffer no qualms about if I'd only tried harder to be male, like they insist, that I could have avoided transition. I know that this was not possible, and if I'd tried to force myself to do so, it would have been very dangerous and almost certainly lethal. I know myself better than they do. I held off as long as I could, and it got to where I nearly destroyed myself before I admitted my need to transition. It was very harmful to me.
I am at peace, ethically and morally, with my transition, I know I did the right thing, and I reject my family's constant attempts to heap guilt on me. Actually, they are in the wrong for treating me like that. All they will ever accomplish by that is adding to the pain.
As for losing my wife, I want to lose her. I don't love her and I can't stand being around her any more. She has been abusive toward me for all the years we've been married. I can't wait until she is out of my life for good.
Just because you can avoid transition does not mean that everyone can. It depends on the severity of GID. Some get the sniffles, some catch cold, and some come down with full blown double pneumonia. Each individual has to know herself and decide for herself. My experience does not necessarily have any bearing on your case, nor does yours on mine.
