I think the only time I ever experienced such a fearful feeling was when I was looking for a Daycare for my 3 sons when I became a widow and had to go to work. To entrust someone to take over the job I was lovingly and contentedly doing was not easy. It was very difficult to find such a person to have the feelings toward my boys as I did. Someone who would nurture them and still allow them space to be themselves. Someone who would besure they would have their privacy and dignity in tacked even though now they would be spending the day with many other children and not be over looked when their needs arose. Leah and I have had this same experience again finding the right help for her almost 87 years old mom.
This past week, after off and on for the last 2 years of searching, we have just went through a whirl wind of a week getting all the loose ends tied and all the ducks to stay in line, have just had Mom stay for her first night last night in her new Assisted Living Center.
Her and I spent the week as follows: Keep in mind at the beginning of the week she was not really definate she was going in. Leah was at work and I have a job where I can come and go when I need too.
Moday: Shopping for cloths and personals that she would need if she went to a nursing home, lunch, and home again a very slow jig-itty-jig. 10:30a.m. till 6:30p.m.
Tuesday: Lunch and taking back most of what she chose yesterday and exchanging it. Dr's appoinment for the cancer on her nose. (All is well now), stop off at the Assisted Living Center to be sure what would need to be done for her to stay during the 2 months Leah and I are away in Oct. and Nov. This, what could have been only 15 minutes fact finding stop turned into 4 hours, All for the good. We took a tour of the room for short stays and then back for more cost fact finding in the business office. Then the Resisdent Nurse comes in and meets us and happens to have time for her assessment. 45 minutes later she invites us to stay for the "Fireside Chat" topic "Old Home Remedies You Used or Had Used on You". Mom asked did we have to stay for the whole thing or couild we leave if we needed to. (Making sure she had a way out if she was not comfortable or interested.) They said yes that would be fine so we stayed. It was one of the most enjoyable and interesting visits I have had in a while. Next we leave to go meet Leah for Salid super at the small home town cafe. HOme again even slower jiggity- jig 11:00a.m. to 8:30 p.m.
Wednesday: Take Mom to the Senior Citizens for lunch. 1:30
a.m.to 1:30p.m. really a breather day. Pick up suggested walkers for Moms trial and approval.
Thursday: Mom to town to return more items she purchased the day before on Tuesday after exchanging those things that didn't work out. Lunch, Dr's appoinment for check up and TB test for entry in Assisted Livining Center should she go. Find out there is no if she she should go but go as soon as possible for safty sake from more falling and memory loss. No choice to go but where to go. Which was already finally chosen thank God for that. Take back walkers and get 2 more for trial and approval. Take Mom for hair perm. Back to Assisted Living Center with Leah accompaning so she can decide on respite room or one bedroom. Sign papers and Take her home for her last night in her own home. Finall after a very very slow jiggity-jig for we stop off at Dad's grave for a few minutes and a drive through the lazy country town that's been her home for so many years.11:00a.m. to 9:00 p.m.
Friday: Go over to help be sure Mom is ready to go for her first day at the Center. Get there and she's doing laundry. not even remembering that she is suposed to be going and have things with her to stay. I help her choose what to take for her first week in a temerary room. pack them to the car. After about 4 trips back to the house from any where between a block away to sitting in the drive still, because she thought of something else. We finally are off to take her to the Center to arrive in time for lunch. Leah is at work so it is just Mom and I. We have a great lunch and I unload her thing and then Take her for the Blood Tests the DR. ordered. Back to the Center for a meeting with the Nurse and Mom to her room to take a much needed Nap. I go home and wait for Leah to arrive so we can go in and visit for 30 minutes before saying good night for her first night there. Leah and I go home with the country road for view of the beautiful sunset jiggity- jig
Obviously this is not how we were planing it but it was sort of smooth, and just must have been ment to be. The place she is staying is so very personal and the staff is very compassionate. I feel better about finding the place for her now. I hope she grows to love it as her own home.
As I write this for you all tears well up and giggles come and go as I relect back at the good-byes each day and the shopping.
Just needed to share.
Smiles,
Peggiann
