I'm not so sure that it's about doing anything differently. The reason I stopped was the fear of the upcoming guilt - that it the guilt I would feel when I finally come out to my kids. You know, I have a lot of gay male and female friends, most of which have come out to their families, spouses, kids, etc. and in most cases it has resulted in a prolonged rift between them. That we can survive, but add to it the physical changes - FFS, GRS, Breast Development, changes in clothing worn, voice changes - it's exponentially more difficult for them to accept. With my oldest son being a major homophobe - it's going to tear the family apart for quite some time.
BUT...
The family has already endured our separation. They've endured my crash and burn financially after more than 21 years of living very well. The rest will just have to be worked through. The way I have come to accept it is that everyone will come around in their own time. Do I still have enormous guilt for inflicting the pain and stress I know is coming - absolutely - but I can no longer hide.
