Jealous of Little Girls

[mtfbuckeye]

I was at the play area at the local mall last night with my son, and there was this little girl who was probably about 5 years old. She was beautiful, and even sort of looked like I did as a little kid... She was also clearly deliriously happy, with parents who (at least in the brief snapshot of time I observed) adored her.

I was hit with a wave of jealousy... Why couldn't that have been my life? The closest I got was one time when my Mom had me dress up like a little girl and sing "It's My Party" for a play.. or the few times that I was mistaken for a girl by strangers...

But then again, my four older half-sisters all turned out to be spectacular failures with drug problems and multiple failed marriages. I hate to think that might have been my fate too if I had been born a girl in my family...

[vanna]

I think most if not all TS have this thought at some point,

the amazing thing is though, once you have begun HRT you get to relive a puberty stolen.

That single thought makes it all worth it.

[vanna]

I hope my second puberty is more fun than my first.. ha ha

Well that is always in your own hands

[Ashley315]

I think we all sort of feel cheated out of the childhood we all wanted, but the truth of the matter is, we would be soooo different had we been raised as the gender we prefer.  Who knows where that could have taken us.  It may have been for the better or for the worse.  I don't look at my being trans as a curse anymore.  Instead, I am thankful for all the experiences I got to have that being a natal girl would probably not have allowed me to have.  To me, it's almost like I get the chance to have lived two lives.

[Nero]

I think we all sort of feel cheated out of the childhood we all wanted, but the truth of the matter is, we would be soooo different had we been raised as the gender we prefer.  Who knows where that could have taken us.  It may have been for the better or for the worse.  I don't look at my being trans as a curse anymore.  Instead, I am thankful for all the experiences I got to have that being a natal girl would probably not have allowed me to have.  To me, it's almost like I get the chance to have lived two lives.

that's a nice way of looking at it. half full.

[SisterGirlfriend]

I was spectacularly jealous of my step-sister growing up. She had EVERYTHING I ever wanted. I used to steal her toys. 

Now, I can confidently say that I'm actually prettier than she is. So blah.

[Sephirah]

I don't honestly think I am jealous of young girls. I think my life would have been a whole lot harder if I'd been born a girl.

In some ways, as strange as this may sound, being born male was perhaps beneficial to my early upbringing.

I'll try to explain:

When I was growing up, we had very little. After my dad met someone else and split, mum was left to bring up three boys on her own. And he paid absolutely nothing towards it at all. He practically disowned the four of us.

Since I had two brothers, they kinda got my clothes when I grew out of them, and it was easier to buy all boy stuff on the premise that it would be interchangeable between the three of us than it would have been to buy seperate stuff for two boys and a girl, especially since finances were strictly limited.

So... I think that, in a lot of ways, if I'd been born female then my life would probably have been a lot tougher than it was, although it wasn't exactly a bed of roses anyway. But being envious of a life I should have had is, in my case, too selfish a thing to indulge in when that's placed in the bigger picture and how it would have impacted on everyone around me. And it very likely may even have been a life that I wouldn't have been able to fully appreciate and make the most of.

Besides which, everything that I was has played its part in making me who I am now, good or ill, and to yearn for something which would have radically altered my current state of mind... I wouldn't be me. What's happened has happened, nothing I can do about that. What I can do is make the most of who I am and what I have. Which is really all any of us can do.

[Jay]

I feel like that sometimes when I am out looking at guys my age or younger and just get really jealous that, I will never experience life. Care free like they do!

But we have to realise this is our reality. We cant live in the "If" world eh?

Jay

[Mr. Fox]

Since I had two brothers, they kinda got my clothes when I grew out of them, and it was easier to buy all boy stuff on the premise that it would be interchangeable between the three of us than it would have been to buy seperate stuff for two boys and a girl, especially since finances were strictly limited.

We had hand-me-downs in my family between sexes.  My sister wore my brothers old clothes, and some were probably even passed down to me.  But if my sister were older, my brother probably would not have gotten her clothes, much like it would have worked in our family.  Ah, double standards, protecting our boys from girl's clothing.

Honestly, I think I would have been unhappier with a male childhood.  I was more of one for make-believe play and female friends.  Attending school as a boy, I probably would have been ostracized and frequently beaten up.  The long hair would have been out.  I would have been taunted more in gym class (I was considered pathetic even for a girl).  The list goes on.  All in all, I probably would have been more stifled and unhappy.

[LivingInGrey]

... I thought I was the only one that felt like this...

Never wanted to say anything about it because I figured I was sick in the head.

I don't just get that feeling though when I see a child. I get that feeling when I see most any female.

Thanks.

[Pica Pica]

i get it when i see all sorts of people, i'd love to dive in people's heads and be them for a while.

[Sephirah]

i get it when i see all sorts of people, i'd love to dive in people's heads and be them for a while.

Did you ever read the book 'Body Rides' by Richard Laymon? One of those bracelets would definitely be interesting for a while.

[Pica Pica]

I never did.
Kurt Vonnegut had a short story where people live without bodies, but can hire one out for a bit of recreation.

[Genevieve Swann]

I never felt jealousy over a child. I do envy some adult women. I'd like to have Dolly Parton's body for a week or two. That would be fun.

[Ashley315]

I can relate to the jealousy of all GGs.  Especially the really pretty ones.  Not that I'm don't do alright for myself, but it's just seeing them with their perfect bodies and thinking that they never had to work at it or anything.  It was just given to them and they don't even know what they have.  Oh well, you do the best with what you got.   

[Kim_R]

Uff. I know that feeling very well. It's probably the time my family became really suspicious about my "issues".   I remember that during christmas (I think I was like 13 then) my 2 nieces (one was 9 and the other one 15) were dressing up, doing their hair, experimenting with makeup and I remember I wanted to join but wasn't allowed to.   I sat with the family and just bursted into tears and went mad.  I only told 2 aunts that I trusted what happened, but i think most people figured out.

I think that year my mum figured it out and send me to a gender therapist.   I did have that same feeling on multiple occasions.  I still have it so now and then. If i'm with a group of girls or see girls having fun in the way I wanted to be part of it, i envy them and sometimes go crazy. It's going better now though. NOw i just go out with female friends and go with them to a manicure, shopping etc and not keep myself to the male role it works out. With female friends that I feel trusted with i'm getting easier with showing a (much) more feminine side.  IT makes me happy .

[JakeDenver]

I have to admit that I am very jealous of my younger brother. He is like everything I wish I was. Muscular, captain of the football team, 200 lbs 6 foot 3 and so on. I just see him as thats who I want to be when I grow up ya know? I see him every day and every day I think dang it you lucky person you althought I replace person with a few other choice words. But anyways I think it is a very common thing for people to envy or be jealous of another human at some point no matter what thier situation is.

[Tanya1]

^ Don't feel down...

Thing is that we humans have the tendency to become one-sided in our thinking when we become jealous. Sometimes we think that person is so much better so we become jealous but if for one day we switched places we would learn to stop worrying that others have it so easier.