That's how I feel about my masculine side, it's a quite twisted swirl of emotions, frustration, excitement, despair, aggression, suffering, mystique, love and hate.
It's like my androgenic side is in trouble, it has quite lots of potential and strength, but it's not sane...
My other side (the one that gets switched after changing my gender chemistry) is more delicate but balanced and happy, not too worried but positive, caring, loving and with eyes wide open to the beauty and greatness of the world.
There's definitely something wrong, the male connections seem adequate but some acid is leaking from the very source of power, corroding the body and twisting the mind... the problem with me is that sometimes I just enjoy taking life by the neck and shouting at it... letting go my aggression feels like a treat in this world of pain.
The criminal in me is dark, it seduces me with golden souvenirs now and then but then it buries me in misery...
I am the colonel and the prisoner, the master and the puppet, a neverending conflict that is tearing me apart from the core.
... just letting go a bit. Have a nice week gals
