Hello I have been away for a couple weeks and trying to see waht and who I really am. I tried to see if I could me my birth gender ( male) for 8 days without make up wearing female attire, shaving face, legs etc, and only wearing male clothing.Removing nail polish and so on. I wanted to see if I could be my birth gender and manage and be happy as male.
DAY 1-- I got through that day fine and had no depression inside and thought it was going good.
DAY 2-- I started started the day off as a boy. I didnt shave or anything that would make me feel like a woman.I started missing that female inside aroung the middle of the day.
DAY 3-- I woke but started feeling depressed and alone. I didn't get out of bed but to eat and use the restroom, I felt like that all day.
DAY 4--Same as day 3 I felt confused. I didn't take a shower or shave or change cloths, from day 3 now 2 days w/o a shower Ijust sat and ate alot in my rooma dn watch t.v.
DAY 5--Same I was missing being the gender I should of been born as.
and I just wanted to be her again, but I made a promise to myself that Id try it for 7 days and it was horrible the first 4 days.And I still layed in bed depressed and sad, angry and alone.I just wanted top lay in bed and wait on these 7 days to pass.
DAY6--I woke up and finally took a shower and washed hair ,changed cloths.I know it is bad not to take a showers daily but Ihad no motivation to do it or get out of bed, and i know thats sadddd.But I just had to. When Im in who I should have been I always am clean and fresh and out going , but being male really made me feel so sad and depressed.And yes bed ridden again for the rest of that day.And eating like a cow.
DAY 7--same as day 2,3,4,5,6 bed,no shower,no shaving,or changing cloths.Just my bed for that whole day.Iate3 lbs of ice cream and 2 big mac's,
I felt so ->-bleeped-<-ing mad and wanting to hide in my closet. and never come out..
last day as being my biological gender.
DAY 8--March 3rd I Woke up took a shower and while I was in the shower I started to feel free and hopeful again, knowing when I dried off I could put back on my real clothing.
I got out of the shower and dried off, then put on my undies,bra,tight jeans,and halter top, cover up, lip liner,eye shadow,eye liner,and so on.I got done looked in the mirror and saw what I was really A WOMAN, and just wanted to see if I could be happy as male and those 8 days proved I could not and wont be
ever.So now It's 5:17 pm and I feel so happy right now to be who I really am.Samantha
