Last night when mum came back from the docs. the hole family pretty much cryed when she said she had cancer, My sister and her oldest son were crying together and im not the kind of person to let my fillings out but i did, my mum just grabed my hand so tight and huged me, she told me she will be ok. and i said i cant have her leave me i cant deal with that i need her to say here and helkp me. she she new that it was hard for me to take this in with everythink that iv been though, she keeped hold of my hand for ages, that small simble told me she nows its hard for me to deal with with everythink iv been going though altho i now everyone else is the same, and we r all upset and scared, but she nows with everythink i had to put up with last year and now this she nows it gets me very very down and stressed and she showed me that. and this morning i need to show her i loved her and got her a card just to say i be there for her, she hugged me. the funny thing is she never does that, ever i now im a (guy) and to be true i dont always want it but i need it sometimes. and i think she starting to relise this, me my mum and younger sister all had a long talk last night and i told her im going to find this very diffecalt and hard with everythink thats going on with me and u its going to be stressful for me but i will do everythink i can to help u and be there for u, she didnt say anythink. but i think she new what i was saying. i didnt say much cuz i didnt want her to get upset and think all im thinking about is myself when it isnt. all thats going on in my head right now is her, altho im thinking of my life too. shes in my mind all the time. im so scared for her, well anyways. today was a ok dayaltho we got some i dunno gd news bad news we dunno yet. anyways she went for a managram (if i spelled that right) were ther scan a 3d image of her breast well thersaw the cancer lump but they said they want to cheack the other one. and she had 4 very very very very small dots in there they said it could be what they call calseum and thats just want the ody does sometimes. or it could be small signs of cancer, BUT they think cuz they saw it now it very very earley stayes if cancer (if thats what it is). anyways. besides that my mums been very strong. and craking lil jokes. showing she hasnt forgot about me. saying stuff like if they take my breats can i have urs.. LOL of course i said deffo. lol.but small things like that makes me fill like shes thinking about me. and hasnt forgot, anyways besides that im fillinf ok trying to stay porsertive for the both of us. i now this is of topic but its easyer to talk about it to anyone. so thanks guys, for all the helpful advice, even tho its nothing to do with the fourm. it still helps.
