Absolutely terrified

[Luc]

This is really hard for me to admit, because I tend to be a pretty level-headed guy, but every time I think about having top surgery, I become so afraid I can't even think about it. I know I have to do something about my chest; binding has taken a toll on my shoulders, and I'm becoming increasingly tired of wearing binders due to discomfort, etc.

I've educated myself well on the few top surgery procedures, as well as looking into surgeons, but I can't even begin to get rid of the fear. It likely goes back to my long-time fear of surgery and hospitals in general... I never wanted to have surgery for anything, let alone something that perhaps I could just deal with in the long run. However, I can't imagine binding for the rest of my life, not only because of the discomfort, but because of the inherent health risks as well.

While obviously I'd wait to have surgery until I found a doctor I was fully comfortable with and confident in, I can't get my mind past the subsequent pain and health risks. I've heard it can take up to a year to feel like yourself again, in terms of physical ability/functionality, and that terrifies me. I can't stand even having a cold for a few days, because it restricts my activities. And the thought of someone opening up my body in that way... gah, I can't even think about that.

Any suggestions as to how I can get over this fear? The only way I could possibly not have top surgery is to reconcile myself to being a man with breasts, in private and public, and try as I might, I can't even imagine that. It would be good for me to hear the realities of the pain and whatnot that ensue from top surgery, as I know a lot of guys here have had it. Also, if anyone has any info on keyhole surgery... I believe that's the one where all the breast tissue & surrounding fat are lipo'd out... let me know. That's about the only one I can conceive of having, as it doesn't sound as invasive for some reason.

SD

[Dennis]

I had DI. Almost no pain at all, and I was out for a two hour walk the day after surgery. The day of surgery, I got out of my room, went down a flight of steps and went to the courtyard at my hotel. I could've been back to work after two weeks, but I wasn't sure how I'd react, so I took four weeks off and was bored silly by the end of it.

Limitations are really because you want the best results, not because of any pain. Although, I suspect keyhole may be more painful, just from seeing videos of lipo. About the only drawback is from the anaesthetic - feeling tired for a few weeks. It certainly didn't take me a year to feel normal. I'd say I was 100% when I went back to work.

Dennis

[Jay]

I was like this to begin with but I talked myself out of it..

I am not going to Pink and fluffy it all up.. saying it was fine.. because I would want the truth not having gone through it before..

The day after my surgery I was back on the forums and Nero sent me a message asking how it all went and what not.. and I replied..

I am not to bad thanks sore but alright I can move so its all good.. I have more mobility that I thought I would have. The experience? Well lets just say I have had better days. Not good at all, the hospital and staff where brilliant. However when I woke up I felt like utter ->-bleeped-<-. (cant think of any other way to put it) I didn't want to talk to anyone, I kept falling asleep all the time, my chest felt tight and I had massive drains with sports bottles at the end of them. I got annoyed by my oxygen mask. They wanted me to keep drinking, I was sick 3 times. Didn't eat. Had the worst sleep of my life kept waking every 2/3 hours. Next day had the drains out, wasn't a nice experiance at all felt like something crawling under my skin extremely painful to say the least. But much better with them out. Then I was fine.  I don't think I reacted well with the anaesthetic or the pain killers I was given as I turned them down after 3 shots in the morning and had none for the rest of the day and night. My first time in surgery also.

My mobility was fine.. I am not one for sitting around doing nothing either and I too hate colds.. I couldn't imagine breaking a leg *touch wood*

Like I said in the other post about top surgery is;

I had full mobility the next day so yeah you can move/sit up its fine..

I can do everything that I need to do daily find I have full mobility! I am also back at work and probably could have gone back last week!

But we are all different!

The drains being out was 95% better and NOT restricting any more.. I had them removed the morning after my surgery. And when the dressings was taken off so I could feel my chest and the stitches removed from my nipples (5 days later) it was 100% better still some soreness but nothing I couldn't live with..

It isn't as bad as what you think it is what so ever..

PLUS it feels so damn great! And I can wear whatever I choose and I keep looking at my flat chest and loving it!
A great confidence boost!

If you have any more questions don't hesitate to ask.

Jay

[J.T.]

No reason to be scared dude... it isn't that bad.  After the first initial period of recovery (four weeks) i was able to resume most activities like normal.  I still can't sleep on my side or stomach but the only thing i regret is that i didn't take better care of my former body.

The biggest complication was a hematoma and another surgery... but it wasn't that bad and you can't even tell.  I was afraid i was going to lose my nipples, but nope they're there.  Might be a little imperfect but sure beats what i used to have.

It wasn't a piece of cake for me... i'd say the worst part of recovery was coming home and having to fend for myself for a couple of weeks.  This is major surgery, but really the only issue is mobility/discomfort.  I wasn't in excruciating pain, ever... just uncomfortable.

[Dennis]

Yeah, I'd agree with uncomfortable. Not even majorly. It was like something in the way that prevents you from what you're doing. I have arthritis and that's way worse. Chest surgery was a bit of discomfort and a bit of immobilization, but nothing big. I wasn't keen on the sleeping on my back thing, cause I'm not good at that. That was my major complaint.

Dennis

[Jay]

I can lay on my front with no discomfort.. I can lay on my sides.. I haven't tried sleeping on my front as not to push things..

But yeah it is just the discomfort thats all!

Jay

[sneakersjay]

It's been 3 months since my surgery.  Really you're not there long enough to have to deal with 'hospital' stuff.  I had DI, remember leaving the surgery center in a haze, and sleeping the rest of the afternoon.  5 days post-op I walked to Dr. Brownstein's office (4-5 blocks) and was fine.

Pain?  Not really.  An annoying burning sensation, a bit of an ache at the drain sites, and I felt like I was squished by a tight binder.  I went back to work 10 days later, and other than not being able to reach stuff above my head, was fine.

For me it was less pain and discomfort than my hysto, though I worked 1 day 4 days later and went back to work 8 days later from that.

Jay

[Snowdoggy]

I was absolutely scared out of my wits before going in for my chest op. I didn't think I could even go through with it for a while as I have never had an op before and hate hospitals and not being in control of what's happening to me.

It was nowhere near as scary as I expected and like J.T., I also got a haematoma after the first op and had to go straight back in for another op to get it sorted. I agree with most of what all the other guys on here have said. In my case I didn't like the lying about as I am a bit hyperactive but like Dennis I was up and walking about the day after the op with no problems.

Having my GF with me helped a lot and I'm not sure I would have sailed through it as easily on my own. We even managed to hide her in my room overnight one night 

I also found sleeping on my back to be a major pain as I suffer from insomnia and have trouble getting to sleep even on my front most nights but all in all I am really glad I did it and would advise biting the bullet and going for it rather than binding for the rest of your life. I wasn't very large in the chest before the op, just wore a crop top that was a couple of sizes too small to flatten but in the summer months it was still crippling even in rainy old England 

[Luc]

I suppose the things that frighten me the most are not having sensation in nipples and surrounding skin, and the possible side effect of death. I realize it's a small possibility, but I can't reconcile myself to the concept that I might choose to do something that could result in my death. I want my breasts gone, but I'm certainly not prepared to die for it.

Beyond that, could I ask who all of your surgeons were? Well... those that are in the U.S., anyway? I want to go with the best possible, but I can't afford to travel overseas, obviously. So far, the best I've found have been Garramone (sp?) in Florida, and Johnson in Nebraska. If anyone has heard anything about these two, or others in the U.S., I'd be much appreciative of any info you can give me. I've already ruled out Brownstein due to my weight problems.

SD

[sneakersjay]

I used Dr. Brownstein, but a friend of mine with a large chest used Garramore and had great results and a good experience also.


Jay

[icontact]

I haven't had top surge so I don't really have much to say, but judging from your picture, you are probably too big of a guy to be getting keyhole surgery, so regardless of your comfort levels, it's highly unlikely that any surgeon will agree to using that method.

[Andrew]

Asher might be right - if you're any larger than a large A/small B, the keyhole's not going to come out right. Also, there are some surgeons who can do a great keyhole and some who do a lousy job, so check the pics on transster.com before you decide anything.

I had keyhole with Dr. Fischer in Baltimore. I was terrified of the pain, too! But I read a couple of stories from people who'd had this surgery, and my fear started to lessen. I was still a little apprehensive going into the surgery, but not as bad as before.

Then I came out of surgery and - surprise - no pain! There was a little bit of an achy feeling, but I was woozy from the pain meds and that was a lot worse. There wasn't any pain after that, either. I took Demerol for the first few days, but after that I just didn't need it. I guess different surgeons do things different ways, but for me, it was a cakewalk.

I don't know where you heard that it takes a year to recover and be comfortable - I was up and about a day after surgery! I couldn't raise my arms above my head right away, but I could after less than a month. I was completely back to normal and feeling great very soon.

I'd say the most uncomfortable thing about the surgery was the binder. It was tight and made me hot and sweaty. Baltimore in June, lol! Oh, and the drains. They were gross and inconvenient. Other than that, I don't think you've got much to worry about.

[Luc]

Before I gained a decent amount of weight straight out of high school, my chest was less than an A. Until I am able to lose that weight, I won't really know if they grew because of the gain or because the actual breast tissue increased. So really, the keyhole thing may be wishful thinking, but it may well be a possibility.

SD

[Dennis]

Unfortunately, you don't lose much of the boob when you lose the weight. I lost 30 pounds and it made very little difference. Probably if you were female and wanted to keep the boobs, that's where it would happen - at least that's what my gf claims :/

Dennis

[Jaimey]

I wonder if that depends on the person or how much weight you lose?  I went to Curves for a while and one of the girls that worked there lost a lot of weight and said she went from a D to a B, but keep in mind that a B cup for a skinny girl and B cup for a big girl are two totally different things, so she actually lost a lot in the boob region.    Makes me curious...

[Luc]

I'm a B now. And I've heard of plenty of chicks who've lost weight and lost a cup size or two. Being on testosterone, I assume I'd lose weight there even faster. If I managed to get back to the chest size I had in high school, I don't think I'd even need to bind, let alone have surgery.

SD

[Nero]

i think it depends what breast size you are when skinny. if when you're skinny, you still have big tits, then no, losing weight won't do anything. but if when skinny, they're small, probably could.

thing is though, from what i hear, the breasts have to be elastic and stuff enough for keyhole, and usually after losing a lot of weight, they lose some elasticity. but, you really don't know till after you've lost the weight.