Eh, HELLO FOLKS!
I'm not a big egomaniac, and I'm also not a big fan of typing unless it's an essay. But since i'm new and Mr. Marco Polo has told me to, I'll post this!
This is a post about me earlier edited and stuffs.
I grew up with a porno addicted father. As I grew up, it was apparent his addictions couldn't be kept to himself. Soon magazines and picture files were simple reminders of his behavior. I used to go in and look at his pictures of the naked women, and while being sexually aroused I was more envious than anything else. Being the bookworm I was, when I got full access to a computer I was researching all the time. I would occasionalyl browse porno sites, and one time stumbled upon a new phenomenon, ->-bleeped-<-s! Well after going through this for a while, I found out what a true transsexual was. It was about 2am, when I, this 11 year old shrimp, read all about what a transsexual was. I stayed up till 8:30 reading and confessed to my father. He was accepting and so was my mother, on the outside. The next few years we followed by screamings and beatings as my father and would discover his wife's clothes in my room, where I'd been trying them on every night. He'd find articles on trassexualism saved on the computer and scream at me about it. Mom would tell me I was against God for this. I didn't really tell anyone else until 8th grade. Then I started coming out and my hair was long enough. I have very feminine feature, so that at school I was getting picked on. I was short but still highly athletic, and the few times I was bullied I kept my dignity. I hung out with an entire clique of book-worm anime-obsessed girls, half of them lesbians, all social rejects banded together. Even there I never felt truely accepted. Some cheerleaders would notice my legs were shaved sometimes and I'd have a week of harrassment. I started on hormones late that year, and went on over the summer. This whole time I had gotten into drugs, cutting, and seeing older men just because of how they made me feel. I started off the next year repeating 8th grade, but I went to school dressed completely as a girl. I went by, "Pixie" and both the middle school and the high school were buzzing with gossip about me, but I felt wonderfulyl accepted and elated. I was expelled for reasons still unknown to me on the third day and sent to an alternative academy. I went the first day crossdressed. The people there, many whom I knew, were the rough, gang involved, and all around hardcore people who often got expelled but were still interested in getting a highschool diploma. Pressure and embarassment that first day caused me to go as a guy the rest of the year. The principal had hopes of me joining the wrestling team due to my strength and 5'2 and 90 pound frame, he made me bench 135 the first day there even though I was in heels and a skirt. I was in the, "gothic" dress type, and so I was still able to dress femm. The principal harassed me all year when he could prove that something I was wearing wasn't androgynous but ONLY worn by females, like I couldn't wear spagetti strap tanks. He had me working out but with the hormones... this had the opposite effect he wanted by making me more effeminate looking. I found a home at that school, Chapin Alternative Academy. Good thing too, because all the drama and drugs and mental hopsitals and rehabs i kept going to... I could always come back and have that as a base and it saved my LIFE. I made national Honors Roll. I was forced off the hormones by my parents, and forced to go to a regular school even with my reputation. I bent in to pressure and tried to live as a male, but was expelled and sought my GED. Now I'm a personal trainer but Iv'e renewed my determination to be on hormoens as soon as I'm 18.
I've always felt accepted though, as a female. I guess it's just my looks, I'm short, petite, have curly hair that doesn't need to be styled when long to look effeminate, and simply have a beautiful face. I'm only working out my legs in the gym now in attempt to bulk DOWN. I'm about to start taking the last of the hormones I had at minimal dose so when I go to see a gender specialist I can convince him/her of my determination. It will also serve to help my back and chest deflate a bit...
But I've been there, I've felt totally outcast.
The fact is, the only way I got to being accepted was by holding my head up and walking straight against whoever's opinions of me shot at me. The same people that hated me accepted me. The people who I wanted to be noticed by noticed me, but by then I was happy enough with myself to not even CARE, other than a giggle when a guy even NOW comes up to a table when I'm treating my mother and asks, "what can I get for you ladies?"
PM me if you all want to know more, that was only half of my story. But DAMN, it felt good to get it out.
I've lived life as a female, had sex and done drugs. I've been raped and I've been made love to in both gendertypes. I'm happy as a guy but would rather be a girl. Make sense? It doesn't to me, I just know I've got an overwhelming desire to live life as a girl and won't be satisfied until I'm "Annwyn" again, instead of, "Pixie" or "Toni" or, "Odd," or, "Anthony."
I've been awarded National Honors Roll. I've been twice elected National GLSEN Leader For South Carolina. I've been nomincated into the National Highschool Scholars Society, as well as the American Poets Society. I'm currently working on a book, it's a murder novel but it stars the serial killer trying to escape from the law instead of the other way around. Iv'e been sober for 3 months, abstinant for 8 months, and i can run 2 and a half miles now!^_^
I work as a personal trainor and as a chef
I've lived on my own for two years now.
I'm abuot to go to college for a degree in English. I want to be a police officer, a fireman, or an english teacher. Considering physical restraints and wanting to be proud of myself, I'll settle for teaching English. I've also always wanted to color my life as an artist in all forms, and am ding so now. I've been to The Govenor's School Of Arts two times, once for music(violin), another for realistic sketching.
I am bisexual, don't find any attraction in homosexual males. I prefer lesbians over straight females, and straight men. I can go either way for ANYONE depending on the person. I am rather bigoted and severe in my political views and am A FIRM SUPPORTER OF THE US MILITARY AND THEIR OCCUPATION OF THE MIDDLE EAST AND THE WAR AGAINST TERRORISM.
I HATE seafood. I love pttuing ranch dressing on everything. I hate artificial sweeteners and have fibromyalgia from having them. I'm a diet freak but also a pig. I LOVE to dance in the rain, especialyl when it's thundering and lightning!
I'm just weirder than YOU are and I'm PROUD OF IT!
Edit: removed url and more incendiary comments - Nero
