I am discusted with myself

[emoboi]

I  dont even know if i should post this because i dont even know what the point is really. I just want someone to hug me i want my boyfriend i feel gross and bloated because i just lost control over myself and eat a whole bunch of food then purged it back up my cheeks are bloated my eyes are red
i guess thats what i get for doing that 

[Osiris]

When you eat a bunch and purge it means your body needs something it isn't getting.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. You need a healthy diet. I know you have a certain way you want your body to look but is it worth this much pain and possible dying over? Transition is all about finding a way to be happy with yourself. Part of it is physical but for many it's also mental, trying to find happiness in the things that we can't change.

I'm not saying this to give you a hard time. I care about you and I don't want you to be so unhappy.

*hugs* I hope you feel better.

[Alyssa M.]

Are you disgusted because you're bulimic, or is it the other way around?

The next planet was inhabited by a tippler.

This was a very short visit, but it plunged the little prince into deep dejection. "What are you doing there?" he said to the tippler, whom he found settled down in silence before a collection of empty bottles and also a collection of full bottles.

"I am drinking," replied the tippler, with a lugubrious air.

"Why are you drinking?" demanded the little prince.

"So that I may forget," replied the tippler. "Forget what?" inquired the little prince, who already was sorry for him.

"Forget that I am ashamed," the tippler confessed, hanging his head.

"Ashamed of what?" insisted the little prince, who wanted to help him.

"Ashamed of drinking!" The tippler brought his speech to an end, and shut himself up in an impregnable silence.

And the little prince went away, puzzled. "The grown-ups are certainly very, very odd," he said to himself, as he continued on his journey.

There's usually something deeper behind destructive behaviors, whether addiction or eating disorders. I really wish you could get help for this.

~Alyssa

[Nero]

*virtual nero hug*

[Lachlann]

When you eat a bunch and purge it means your body needs something it isn't getting.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. You need a healthy diet. I know you have a certain way you want your body to look but is it worth this much pain and possible dying over? Transition is all about finding a way to be happy with yourself. Part of it is physical but for many it's also mental, trying to find happiness in the things that we can't change.

I'm not saying this to give you a hard time. I care about you and I don't want you to be so unhappy.

*hugs* I hope you feel better.

I agree with this 100%... actually, I made a vlog about being happy with yourself a couple of hours ago, lol.

Emoboi, you have my sympathies and my hugs but please look out for your health.

[V M]

I don't usually eat much. I'm a good cook, but I only eat when I have to. I don't really like eating and if I didn't have to, I wouldn't. But sometimes Virginia just makes a little piggy out of herself.  It's generally because my body needs something. Like proteins and nourishment, vitamins
etc. Then I exercise. Good diet, exercise and sleep. Ring any bells? 

[milliontoone]

 :-*hugs you

i've been there...i had severe anorexia at one point i weighed 5 and a half stone.
i stopped restricting because i almost died and tho i hated myself i did not want to die but i still struggled with food issues until i accepted myself for who i was.

i've also done the whole binge/ guilt thing tho i've never purged.

i don;t know what your reasons are but
i did it because i hated my body and  i hated my body because it made people perceive me as a woman so therefore i hated myself.

when i came out and totally accepted and knew that i was a man, it was like a ->-bleeped-<-ing wave broke over me and washed me clean.

what i said to myself was "I AM A MAN and noone can ever take that fact away no matter what because I will always know that I am a man".

oh and i realised that men do have hips some A LOT bigger and more rounded and "femmy" than any bio woman.....

if you wanna chat about anything pm me....

[emoboi]

*hugs* im going to try my hardest not to lose control like that again and im going to try to eat

[icontact]

Good to hear. I'm proud of ya man.

[emoboi]

awwwwwwww thanks asher <3 

[Alyx.]

Why do you feel fat?

Is it because you are or you just think you are?

[Mr. Fox]

Glad you're feeling better.   Hope it lasts!

[Jaimey]

*hugs*  I hope you feel better!  Just being conscious of what you are doing will help you to not do it. 

You might try substituting another behavior, like...when you feel bad, sit down and read for 10 minutes or take a short walk or anything that makes you feel better.  It only takes three weeks to change a habit (that might not be an exact quote, but it's close ).  What I did was to change my thoughts as soon as I started feeling bad.  So if I got really down about something (like today...), instead of letting it consume me (which I did for about 4 years), I consciously start thinking of things that make me happy...thinking about signing books for fans or flowers or maybe playing on a playground or anything.  It takes some work, but it does help.

*hugs*

[emoboi]

i know im not fat in reality to other people but i look and feel fat in my warped perseption and i honestly dont know how to change that

[Lachlann]

Well, Emoboi, it's good to know that you realize that it's your perception that you believe yourself to be fat, but know that you actually aren't.

It can be very difficult to change a negative thought pattern about yourself, especially when you're so wrapped up in it. Self-esteem can be changed, though.

I didn't love myself before, and when I say love myself I don't mean I have a big head, in fact I find that those kind of people usually are more likely to have a self-esteem problem themselves. But basically what I did, is I got a journal and I'd write down all the things that I like about myself and I would ask what others liked about me if I got stuck. And I keep adding onto that list every day and the numbers went from 50 to 100, to now 221. And because I'm acknowledging good things about myself and realizing that I'm not a boring person and that I was more interesting than I thought I was.

But for example, I wanted to be taller at one point. I didn't like my height, but I said to myself, "I can't change this, so why not be proud of myself the way I am?" and I started to change my way of thinking. I would list all the good things about being shorter and I really got pumped about being the height that I am now.

The hardest thing is making yourself believe it, because you don't want to just say, "Ok, I'm going to believe I'm not fat... but I don't really feel that way." You kind of have to be attuned to what your thoughts are.

[Tanya1]

Well just switch bodies with me and everything will be alright.

I'll make sure I keep it buffed, muscles, in good shape, masculine and like a hunk.

You keep yours feminime.

[Sophie90]

A healthy diet improves your mood.


This includes the proper amount of calories and such.