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Irish daredevils

Started by nickie, January 10, 2009, 06:25:00 AM

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nickie

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.

The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.

Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.

At the Connor Pass , Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place.'

He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.

Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!'

THERE'S MORE...

Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at ConnorPass.

He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other.

'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says.

He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free.

He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.

Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.

Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.

Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!'

IT IS NOT OVER YET...

Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears.

He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.

Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.

Once more Paddy shakes his head.

'Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting... And now Sean and his fook'n hengliding!'

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Jay

ha ha brilliant Irish joke!


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V M

High cocker lori...gesharg  :laugh:
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
  •  

Janet_Girl

ROTFLMIAO
Rolling
On
The
Floor
Laughing
My
Irish
Arse
Off

Janet

  •  

tekla

So, three Irish guys walk into a bar... just kidding, to walk into a bar you'd have to leave it first, never happens.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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V M

Quote from: tekla on January 11, 2009, 12:50:41 PM
So, three Irish guys walk into a bar... just kidding, to walk into a bar you'd have to leave it first, never happens.
Aye... but I saw those guys. Walked in, saw me and walked out. Then walked back in again, Two ordered Guinness and the one ordered a pint o' Harp. Then the band and many more showed and it was a great frolic about
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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Dennis

Two irishmen are staggering home after the pub's closed and they come upon the compound where the city buses are kept at night. Seamus has the brilliant idea of stealing a bus to get home. After looking in the compound, Paddy says "won't work. Ours is way in the back."

Dennis
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Janet_Girl

How do you get the Irish out of the pub.  Easy yell "The British are coming".

Sorry a little RIA humor.

Janet

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Jamie-o

So how many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  2 - 1 to hold the bulb, and 1 to drink until the room spins.  ;)
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Maebh

One windy day with a westerly gale blowing I was guiding a group of Dubs Hoodies at the cliffs of Moher. As we arrived at the O'Brien's tower we overheard a tall athetic american tourist saying that on such a day he could jump off and the wind would carry him back up safely. I approched him and told him to get away from the edge and back on the path. To gasp of horror from every one he jumped off and disapeared from view. Before we could react he reappeared, hovering along the edge and to every one amazement landed safely back on the path.
"Jaysus If a bloody Yank can do it so can we" said a few of my companions and before I could intervene they too jumped off. When they didn't reappear we looked down and saw their bodies tossed against the rock by the waves. Then we heard the female companion of the Yank screaming at him: "Now Clark Kent that wasn't funny at all"
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Steph

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?


Just two - the trick is getting them in there :)

steph

Post Merge: January 16, 2009, 10:35:40 PM

A husband an wife were looking down into the open coffin at his grandpappy.  Hon that's the way I want to go - quietly in my sleep.  Me to dear, replied his wife.  Not like his three screaming passengers.

i know, i know but they could have been irish. :D

steph
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Jessica M

Janet it's IRA fyi

Maebh only a Kerryman would be that dumb and you know that lol ;D

How do you confuse a kerryman? you put him in a round room and tell him theres a tenner in the corner.

How did the kerryman get a black eye? he went into a dublin bakery and asked for a loaf!

I've got loads more might post some later.
Up Da Dubs!!!

Claire xoxo
Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia - Alaska Young in "Looking for Alaska" (John Green)

I will find a way, or make one!
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Maebh

Two "Continuity IRA" bombers arrive at the pearly gates. Peter come to them and says:
"Sorry lads I can't let you in, you are terrorist and murderers of innocent people"
Depositing two holdall on the floor beside him they reply:
"We are not interested in getting in, just giving you 10 minutes to get everyone out!"

LL&R
Maebh
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V M

One fine Winters eve a man strolls into a Pub with his Award winning Irish Setter after a dog show. Strait off the dog begins to try and hump everyones leg. Amused, the bar tender explains that his dog is locked in the next room because she's in heat. A patron pipes up, "Well let her out! It's cold as hell in here!"
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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stephani-ryan

seams to be a good time to be had with us irish folk, I love the humor keep it up we all need a good laugh from time to time.

I dont know if it will get on here but here goes,

an irishman stops off at a nudist colloney and goes in for a bang at this , he walks around and decides to take a nap om the beach, after a short while he gets this feeling he's being watched...
he awakes to a little girl huvering over him, he askes her can I help ya lass and she says ,
mister whats that, to his shock he looks down and realizes he has been salutin to the crowd.. he says well lass thats me birdie, she nods and says well if thats your birdie is that his nest , why yes thats iz nest , oh and are those his eggs.... he thinks if only she would go away I could get back to my dreamin' , out he pops ye those be the wee eggs all snuggled in safe and sound me lass... she smiles and says k thanks mister and she walks off..... a while later he awakes to the shock of that same little girl above him and now he's in the hospital, lass why am I at the infermery, she replies oh see when you went back to sleep I came over and was pettin your birdy, the thing spit at me so I broke his neck , cracked his eggs and burnt his nest.....
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Unconditional Acceptance

Quote from: Janet Lynn on January 11, 2009, 12:37:14 PM
ROTFLMIAO
Rolling
On
The
Floor
Laughing
My
Irish
Arse
Off

Totally!!! Especially w/ the jokes posted by nickie, Jaime-O, n stephani-ryan.

Ye gotta love the Irish.
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