Femmephobia is real, and it's out there, and it's ugly

[Hypatia]

I was googling transsexual and lesbian, a nice innocent combination of words, I thought. But the first thing that came up was one of the ugliest hate-rants I've ever seen from a trans person. Whoever wrote that is seriously unhinged.

Trigger warning-- there are disgustingly hateful and even violent attitudes spewed there-- http://etransgender.com/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=1912

A sampling of the femmephobia on display there--

I had absolutely no self esteem and in fact I hated women whom were what most guys considered to be " pretty " seeing them all as stuck up princesses expecting to be both asked, and paid for, on a date !

I felt that I " hated women because they all were bitches" ; YET, was so intensely attracted to them . YET I FOUND " BUTCH WOMEN" AND " TOMBOYS" AND YES, LESBIANS TO BE ATTRACTIVE ; ALL BECAUSE THEY " ACTED MORE LIKE THE BOYS" AND NOT THE SUPER FEMME PRINCESSES!

I basically saw the high femme woman as " unavailable bitches " and " living, breathing, playboy centerfolds which I could never get! " for years , thinking I was an alcoholic[ pothead, yes ] I would go to all the AA and NA[ EA, CODA , all that] meetings ; just to dump all my emotional (expletive) and yes, stare at all the pretty yuppie women I could never get .

I still see all that high femme, cocktail party fashion as being basically stupid ; as well as the more modest , yet still high femme , " coldwater creek and ann taylor loft styles " .

There's something especially wrong with loudly proclaiming oneself to be a "feminist" while spewing vile hatred against women.

In the comments to that post, it gets exponentially worse. Someone even more unhinged actually starts advocating a repeat of the Columbine high school massacre-- this time targeting women. I won't quote from it here because it's sociopathological beyond belief and makes me want to throw up. And even more sickening, no one even challenged that person for advocating mass murder of women, they swallowed it without blinking an eye. It was prompted by the original femmephobic post, and these sick violent urges are the logical outcome of spewing hatred. Like the 1989 massacre of women at the École Polytechnique in Montreal by an anti-feminist. Or the 2008 massacre at the Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church by a homophobe who had been egged on by right-wing hate propaganda in the media. It's the exact same pattern at work here.

It's time femmephobia was challenged and confronted for what it is, especially in the feminist and queer communities. I'm not taking it any more.

[tekla]

Bitter, bitter, bitter.

Really. I basically saw the high femme woman as " unavailable bitches " and " living, breathing, playboy centerfolds which I could never get! " for years , thinking I was an alcoholic[ pothead, yes ] I would go to all the AA and NA[ EA, CODA , all that] meetings ; just to dump all my emotional (expletive) and yes, stare at all the pretty yuppie women I could never get.  Well perhaps if you weren't some drunk stoner, you might have taken a look at the guys (or girls) these girls were going out with. 

And. I still see all that high femme, cocktail party fashion as being basically stupid ; as well as the more modest , yet still high femme , " coldwater creek and ann taylor loft styles.  So, sackcloth and ashes, or baggy jeans and flying the flannel?  Really, not much of a mid point there eh?  Are we all supposed to dress like stagehands or auto mechanics?  Heck, even the stagehands I know don't dress like that when we don't have a show.  And the girls I know who have the high femme cocktail party dresses (like there is a low fem version of that?) have other clothes in their closet, and even wear them on occasion.  Just like the guys at those parties, they ain't wearing that tux or suit when they mow the lawn, play golf, or watch the final four either there kid. 

But the real key is I had absolutely no self esteem.  And, you still don't do you?  Really.  Because if you do, what other people do, wear, or act like should not, and does not, affect you, does it?

[Hazumu]

<my_two_cents>

I've seen worse spew, spending my time in the slime-ditch of the internet following news leads.  It's ugly, but getting a feel for their anti-T memes gives you the familiarity to recognise and rebut those memes.

Positive education and T's seen in a positive light are the antiseptic that will reduce this kind of rot.

</my_two_cents>

=K

[NicholeW.]

This person was 40 something now? Still sounds like high school brainwork to me, maybe even middle school brain work. The person obviously has more than a few problems with women in general, although prolly not quite so many as the "columbine" commenter.

Struck me the problem is exactly what they don't look at, since the "problem" is rather obviously within rather than with the women they love to hate. Betcha they're using therapy "for transition only" if at all. I mean this person has some rather serious povs that could use some serious readjustment. But the level of self-reflection seems so low that nothing is gonna work with them and they will, without ever realizing why, wind-up just as alone and bitter as they are now.

It's all more sad than anything else. (Of course the "piece" was written in 2008. Who knows, maybe they've found a clue, died or are now posting away on some forum like this! LOL!!

Nichole

[tekla]

OK, I read the entire article, wow.  And the other link put up by the commentator, and double wow. 

Really, I'm speechless.  And that's almost impossible.

I said elsewhere that hate kills those who hate.  This is pretty much proof of that.