So why not?

[Lexine]

Why not? - I don't fully identify as either gender, so I don't see how fully transitioning would benefit me. I like my boy self just as much as my girl self so it's liberating to me to be able to be either at any given point.

How do I cope? - I came out to my friends and told people of how I felt about myself and they all accepted it.

[Theo]

I see your point, Tekla, but living with GID in a world where there are no options must be vastly different than living with it in one with options known to you, especially when they are inaccessible.  How'd they used to do it?  They didn't know there was any other way.

That's how I managed. I didn't know there was GID and didn't know there was any option but to just make the best of what was possible.

I had two choices. 1 Exist trying to fit in or 2 have a really good life. I tried option 1 and felt that life wasn't worth living that way. I then took option 2 doing what made me feel good and dismissing what anyone else said or thought. They had their opinion and I had mine and I was going with mine.

I built my world on being fit and active and exploring by trying new things and enjoying the things that I loved doing whether they fitted in with expectations for a female or not. I worked in male dominated jobs, did male dominated sports and had a fairly androgynous wardrobe. I was happy with my performance for my body's capacity.  It wasn't as good body as I'd have liked, I'd have like a more masculine one, I knew that much, but it was all I had to work with.

It worked for me until I started having so much pain and stiff joints that some days I could barely walk never mind work. My Option 2 failed wherever it relied on my body being up to what I needed of it to do to express my maleness. That's not a good time to find out that GID exists and applies to you and that option 3 isn't an option that you can take for whatever reason/s.

What to do....well I don't know what anyone else can do and I wouldn't deign to tell anyone what's best for them, they aren't me. but for me I think I'll have to just be myself, accept that the boundaries are different now, do what suits me, do what makes me feel good, and not care at all what anyone else who doesn't matter to me thinks or says. Nearest fit label is I'm a somewhat androgynous gay trans man with a rather crappy unconventional body.

[Lacey Lynne]

@ Theo:

Sounds like you're doing the best you can with the circumstances you've got, man.  Gotta admire that a lot.  Hope it all works our for you, really. 

[Theo]

@ Theo:

Sounds like you're doing the best you can with the circumstances you've got, man.  Gotta admire that a lot.  Hope it all works our for you, really.

@ Lacey Lynne;

Thanks, the world is made a better place with caring girls like yourself in it.

[JoanneL]

If you are in this forum, chances are you are a non-op transperson.   So, 1) why not, and 2) how do you cope?

When I was young little was known about transgendered people. I knew I was different but not the cause etc. So I got married, had a family.
Much later when I realised what I was, I made a decision and decided the family came first. It was a struggle at times but we had a happy marriage for nearly 50 years. Its now too late for SRS, but HRT and dress is not

[Lacey Lynne]

@ Lacey Lynne;

Thanks, the world is made a better place with caring girls like yourself in it.

Thanks so much, man.  Appreciate your compliment.

Know what?  I actually DO care ... and very deeply.  I literally "suffer in my soul" (Yeah, I know that sounds stupid, but it's the best I can think of right now.) for transguys.  The day WILL come when you guys can get your surgery, have fully functioning equipment that is so genuine that only a doctor would know the difference.  That time IS coming; however, it is rather a bit in the future. 

Look, I'm about to say something here, and some people will be put off by it?  Why?  Frankly, because they'll think it's B.S.  Well, they'll just have to deal with it, so here goes:

Science and technology exists that is way, way beyond what we see, have and experience in the general society.  Yes, lots of this sci/tech IS classified and used by the leading nations for "national security" and military purposes.  This is not the knowledge I'm talking about here.  There is knowledge that is ages old ... been around since very great antiquity ... even predated this earth. 

Back in my high school and college days, I was studying to become a theoretical physicist.  Did really well in school.  Got into the top fancy-pants college (Hell, they even gave me a scholarship to go, so WTF?  I went!), was personally tutored by the top theoretical astrophysicist in the world (He finally won The Nobel Prize for Physics 10 years after I studied with him ... Subrahmanyan Chandrasekhar (Chandra to his friends)).  My point?  Physics, math and their underlying ground rules and assumptions were my passion.

Over many years, I discovered the existence of this knowledge I'm talking about here.  Do I actually have this knowledge?  No.  Do I know about it?  I believe I do.  What I'm trying to say is the possibility of doing female-to-male bottom surgery is entirely and altogether more feasible ... TODAY ... than we believe possible and are allowed to know about. 

I believe they have the cure for the common cold.  I believe they have cures for various cancers.  I believe HIV/AIDS was created in government/military laboratories as an engine of genocide against undesired populations (I could go on and on about this one).  You get my drift.  The knowledge is THERE and is there NOW in so many ways and for so many things.  Too many obscenely rich people are making too much money keeping things just the way they are.  Even more profoundly, withholding this knowledge is about power, clout and control.   

Presidents, kings and queens, prime ministers, etc., rule the world?  IMHO, no way.  The real rulers are generally unknown to and unseen by the general populace.  They use this advanced knowledge (or withhold it) to keep themselves in power.  Indeed, some researchers into these matters maintain that the people who truly rule the world have extraterrestrial intervention and assistance in so doing.  I am apt to agree with these researchers, as far-out as this assertion may be at first blush.  So, what's my whole point?

Transguys, your doable and excellent bottom surgery is more than likley much more doable and doable sooner than you may ever believe.  There is a nexus at which Newtonian mechanics, special and general relativity, quantum physics, the zero-point field and metaphysics converge.  This knowledge is ages old.  Some believe that it originated off of this planet ... even out of this solar system or galaxy even.  I am inclined to agree with them. 

Transguys, I personally believe the ability to do your surgery may even be a reality now.  I emphasize MAY be.  I don't know for sure.  Human potential is vastly greater than we are led to believe it is.  If the people who really run the world had a good reason (TO THEM!) to proceed with the medical research to perfect FTM bottom surgery, I believe it would be available well within the lifetimes of you younger transdudes.

Loopey Lacey spacing out again?  No, Lacey spent most of her younger life deeply studying these things.  While other young people were out dating, mating and relating, I was embroiled in passionate albeit solitary research to seek these things out. 

Go to Google or Bing and search for and read about:

*   The Zero-Point Field, and
*   Quantum Consciousness. 

Then, check 'em out on YouTube.  Finally, search for titles about these at www.Amazon.com ...

Prepare to be amazed.  Alas, alack and anon, this is only the beginning.  It goes way deeper!

Transdudes, I deeply care about your plight.  I plan to dedicate what remains of my life to helping the LGBTQ Community become understood, cared about and helped.  Don't know that I can do much, but I fully intend to give it my all.  Will I fail?  Maybe.  Won't be for lack of trying though.   

Hint:

What drives energy/matter (different states of the SAME thing)?    Thought!

The Zero-Point Field is the medium.  Thought is the message.  Quantum consciousness is their nexus.

Humans (to a limited but amazing degree) have the ability to affect creation.  Think about that!!!

Sigh, nobody likes nerd girls.       Nerd out, dudes!     

[Samson99]

Why I'm non op:
-I worry that if I did go through with it, I would have major regrets.
-I haven't come out to my mom yet, so I have been avoiding going to a therapist (even though I bet it would help) because I am terrified of her finding out.
-My boyfriend accepts me as a man, and would even if I got the surgery, but because he is so understanding either way, I don't feel like I should just yet.
-If I end up wanting biological kids through child birth, I'm kind of screwed if I get the surgery.
-Although I know deep in my heart that I'm a man, even though I wasn't born as one, I keep hoping that one day it'll go away so I can feel normal. I do not feel normal. I know I am who I am, and I've spent enough time ignoring it, but still.

How I cope:
-I dress in a way that makes me feel like I'm handsome, and masculine (enough, I'm a bit effeminate. ).
-I write, a lot.
-I've joined this group and another online so I never feel like I'm alone in these thoughts and concerns.
-I joined an LGBTQA club at my college, and although I'm the only trans person there, it's an amazing place.
-I remind myself that my friends and family who know adore me for all that I am, and that I have someone as supportive as my boyfriend there to make me feel great.

[Aidan_]

Hm, you ask why? Really, I cannot see myself in the realm of either gender. Sure, I may adopt secondary feminine traits physically and mentally, but I do not believe I belong in that realm completely. On the contrary, I know I do not consider myself a part of the male world either. With time and more thought, I may switch to being a pre-op and eventually go through with it. However as I stand today I am more comfortable being an 'Andro' than male or female.

How do I cope? This really doesn't cause an enormous amount of stress for me. The stressful times are if in class, people ask questions or say crude remarks. Being told, "What, you just gonna walk away like a efing girl? what the F man?" brings some anger to the table, but it mainly brings sorrow. Sorrow for those poor souls who are slaves to the social norms and their hormones. I give them all a moment of silence each day and hope they wake up.

[Cindy Stephens]

Dear marissak,
I understand completely and hope you work out what is best for you.  I was very lucky to find (after several divorces and long term gay relationships) a woman who really preferred my female side, and hates it when my aggressive male side comes out occasionally.  Hormones have contained and shrunk the "beast".  Sex is rare and more like a couple of girls.  Works for us, it is possible.  One thing though, about men.  They are ALL "fetishists" of one stripe or another.  Some require; youth, big butts, big breasts, submissive, strong, fat, skinny, blonds, redheads, etc.etc.  Any relationship built only on that one sexual turn-on is doomed to failure I think.  However, there seems to be a current among some ts people that men who like women with a little extra are somehow "perverts".  That they believe and say this doesn't make it so.  You may find a guy (your post seemed at least bi) who certainly is drawn to you for what you have and is willing to love, cherish, support, understand and give his all to keep you.  That doesn't seem so bad to me.  Certainly many women have learned to play into their lovers/husbands fantasies at least sometimes to keep the sex hot, and interest alive.  Why do you think they buy that lacy scratchy lingerie when they would rather be wearing a flannel floor-length nightgown?  Now, I am from a different generation, and perhaps my thinking is different, but l believe that compromise requires understanding the needs of our lovers just as much as we need them to understand us.  Perhaps, if you do intend to keep the beast, think of ->-bleeped-<-s as potential mates with certain characteristics, rather than "perverts", and I bet the dates will go a whole lot smoother.  Like most women, we need to kiss a lot of toads before we find anything approaching a prince.

[rite_of_inversion]

Why no hormones/no surgery?

-I went nutty as a Christmas fruitcake on birth control...rolling dice on testosterone? maybe not a good idea.
-It would be really hard to stick me at the correct balance point between male and female
-If I get too androgynous-looking, it will interfere with my ability to get and keep a job
-I do NOT want to lose any head hair or grow any more body hair (although oddly enough, I do wish I could wear a goatee..)
-Growing the perfect micropenis? not easy
-I can't legally transition to androgyne (I'm actually really angry about this...my gender doesn't legally exist!)
-My gender dysphoria seems to be covered well enough by wearing men's clothing and getting a female's short haircut, at the moment... I feel at my best when I neither feel demasculinized nor defeminized.
-two words: small boobs

I am inclined to genderqueer, though, when I can dress and behave how I like.

[Darner]

Two main reasons. I live in a good society and masculine women are not discriminated (at least I never was). I never suffered of being seen as a lower being and I'm allowed to do as many "male" stuff as I want. My sex is blocking me only in relationships because my "requirements" in partners are pretty specific and difficult to get, but at the same time I was never into marriage, babies or even partnership. So I'm guessing that sex change wouldn't improve my life very much.

And then other hundreds of reasons I'm reciting to myself every time I have weak moments.

[insideontheoutside]

Well, to be perfectly honest I don't feel I need surgery. I also have a fundamental personal belief that surgery on MY otherwise healthy body is just not for me. I also have come to the personal belief (notice I'm qualifying all of this as my PERSONAL beliefs because I don't want it to sound like I'm pushing my beliefs onto anyone else) that there is no such thing as GID. It's a made up disorder created by psychologists to put otherwise normal people, like myself, into a box. I honestly believe that having the mind of one gender and the body of another is a totally normal human variation and also that there isn't just 2 genders ... and that's also normal. 

How I cope? Well, like someone else said, I'm out to find my own personal harmony with what I got. I've gained confidence about who I am on the inside.

[Lilis]

If the only reason you have not had GRS surgery is the cost, then you would be pre-op not non-op...

Thanks for the clarification, but I can't find the pre-op sub.

Am I overlooking something?

~ Lilis

[ChrissyRyan]

Thanks for the clarification, but I can't find the pre-op sub.

Am I overlooking something?

~ Lilis

Maybe this helps?  It is titled non-op though.

https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,315.0.html

[Lilis]

Rereading Susan's statement, I guess you are right.  I was assuming 'non-op' referred more to people who are not transitioning than those who just aren't having the surgery.

Yeah, same, I am trying to grasp this as well.

[Lilis]

Maybe this helps?  It is titled non-op though.

https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,315.0.html

Right, but Susan statement suggests that they are not the same thing, and are different transitioning goals.

[Lilis]

But if I got this correctly, non-op means no plans for SRS for health reasons and what ever other reason's this person may have, "period!"
If SRS is out, one can always take the alternative of orchiectomy, a less major surgery

Pre-op means wanting and planning on having SRS no matter how long it takes to have the money or find the means to have the surgery. Some even sell their bodies on the street for the money for SRS.

Post-op means after surgery.Cindy

Exactly, these are my thoughts as well.

Wait... not the selling their bodies part, but yeah mostly of what you said.

And I don't see a pre-op sub.

[ChrissyRyan]

Right, but Susan statement suggests that they are not the same thing, and are different transitioning goals.

I can understand that.  Maybe you can find what you want in the general GCS theead?

https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,50.0.html

If I find another location I will let you know.

[Lilis]

I can understand that.  Maybe you can find what you want in the general GCS theead?

https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,50.0.html

If I find another location I will let you know.

Thanks Chrissy. 💓

[Lori Dee]

Pre-op discussions would fall under the specific FtM or MtF thread here in the Transexual Talk forums.

As you correctly surmised, the Non-Op is for those who have no intention of getting surgery.
Post-Op Life is for those who have already had transition surgery.

Under the Forum Transgender Talk is for transitioning of any type, including surgery, with its own sub-forum for Non-transitioning or De-transitioning discussions.

I hope this helps.