So why not?

[tekla]

That doesn't preclude him from occasionally being right

Even broken watches, at least analog ones, are right twice a day.

[Vexing]

Zactly!

[fae_reborn]

Till you're naked.

Good luck with the stealth bit... Damn near an impossibility.

-={LR}=-

I don't plan on being naked in public...I'm not a nudist 

And yes, I know one can never be completely stealth, especially given this society.

[xsocialworker]

In most states, an orchie does not count as adequate to change your records. The law will only see you as a '' man'' with a little less. Sorry

[Vexing]

In most states, an orchie does not count as adequate to change your records. The law will only see you as a '' man'' with a little less. Sorry

Bad news for those in the states, eh?

[Steph]

I don't plan on being naked in public...I'm not a nudist 

And yes, I know one can never be completely stealth, especially given this society.

It's nice to be able to plan, but you can't plan for every thing

-={LR}=-

[tekla]

Bad news for those in the states, eh?

They could ...
a) organize to change the law
b) move

What they do?  Show up here and bitch.

[fae_reborn]

In most states, an orchie does not count as adequate to change your records. The law will only see you as a '' man'' with a little less. Sorry

In my state it was enough; all my records say female now.  I'm just glad I live in a state that was open enough to do so.

[Mister]

Bad news for those in the states, eh?

They could ...
a) organize to change the law
b) move

What they do?  Show up here and bitch.

nice.

[xsocialworker]

Plenty of organizations are working to change the law across the country. It isn't easy. Meanwhile, in most of the country, the law does not recognize a non-op or pre-op as a female. Social Security did under Clinton, but Bush people changed that. If you don't get GRS or find a way to circumvent
these laws, you are living legally as your birth gender. ( or you can move to the few states that allow a more liberal interpretation like Minnesota and California). Tennessee, Ohio, and Kansas won't change your records even post-op.

[Cowardly Lioness]

Hi everyone,

This is an interesting discussion.  I'm amazed to see so many similar stories that I can so easily identify with.

My reason for staying non-op is simple.  I am married and I will only take this as far as my wife is comfortable with.  She already has enough stress and other issues in her life, and I refuse to do anything to hurt her.

Coping is simple ... I have my wife beside me.  We go clothes shopping together (we both like the same plus size stores, so it makes it fun).

This is a long journey, and I am barely taking the first steps.

[xsocialworker]

I know plenty of women who would have stayed non-op if they could have lived F/T and saved the marriage relationship. That is also common in Gay male relationships.

[heatherrose]

My story would be similar. I discovered at about 4 years old that I was different. I also learned very early to hind those feelings. Early on I would dress up when I was alone and this worked for a long time. I still believed that this was some type of perversion. When I was 15 my parents surprised me by returning home early and caught me dressing up in my mother's clothes.

My father went into a rage I had never experienced before.  He beat me half to death. It was as if I didn't exist anymore. Every time I fell down he pulled me back up tearing my mother's cloths as he did. I just remember the pain I finally ended up laying on the floor bleeding everywhere. And my mother was just standing there. I don't know if she was afraid of my father or me. I wasn't allowed to tell the truth about what happened back then but at the time no one would have blamed him anyway. And after all I was the one with the perversion.

After that it was all about inward control. I couldn't use alcohol as it made my desires worse and harder keep inward.  But drugs on the other hand were the answer. (I never said I was really that smart) I found I could cope by living within my own mind. No dressing required no clothes to hide, etc. I could live out entire events and never open my eyes. The level of realism was incredible. I was alive, a real walking, talking, Barbie doll. This worked for a long time. But of course as more and more was needed to continue the maintain level of reality tripping requires it ultimately came crashing down.

After that it's was pure denial and distraction for a long time.  Ultimately I learned that anything I did to control or cope was for me just a temporary band aid and that each seemed to be less and less effective.

[Breastquest]

I am simply a man that enjoys having breasts. What would that be considered?  My breasts have greatly improved my sex life (feels great) and I have such a strong standing in my own circles that no one will dare question me on the subject. Although my friends have a feeling that something is different, the fact that I'm married to a beautiful woman has them scratching their heads lol.

[Hillarync]

I choose to be non-op like a person chooses to be trans. I have been taking hormones for ~2 years. I identify as female, I just don't desire SRS. I don't know how to rationalize it. Someday my feelings may change, but for now, I'm fine with my genitalia.

I realize being non-op will present enormous relationship issues, as well as social and legal.
I wish that I desired SRS 100%. It would make my life a ton easier, not that transition is ever easy.

I am certain to be chastised by 90% of humanity. I may end up alone forever.

Ultimately what matters to me is being real and living authentically. I intend to find or create
happiness, even if the whole world s against me.

[Fata Morgana]

Before I started my transition I had regular meetings with a doctor and a psychologist for about 7 years. Their testimonies about my life story and the pain and anguish I've experienced because of what I am helped me to proceed in my treatment quicker.

My mental evaluation by doctors and psychologists specializing in the care of transsexual people lasted only 6 months and then I could begin my hormone therapy and change my name. After a year of HRT I became legally a woman. Then I started to have fears and doubts about the SRS and discussed this with the doctors and they told me to think very carefully about my ability to live without the surgery. Could I be happy, or at least be able to accept myself like this?

I still have the option of surgery if I someday feel I am ready to make such a life altering decision. Mostly I'm worried about the possible complications and what the result might be. I don't want to be disappointed by the surgery. Maybe one day when I have nothing to loose and everything to gain I will go through with it.

I have a boyfriend. Met him when I started the transition and he has always told me that all that matters to him is that I'm happy with myself. No matter what I choose to do or not to do. I'm not sure where life will take me in the future. But right now I feel "at home" with myself. My feelings about myself might change or they might not.

[pheonix]

I am certain to be chastised by 90% of humanity. I may end up alone forever.

This is so not true.  I'm non-op and have been successfully in the dating scene for several years now.  I've been able to avoid the ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<- phenomenon and have had little difficultly locating both men and women who have been coo with me as a person as well as my biology.  It makes dating slightly more difficult (and you need to be prepared to face a lot of rejection) but I've found 1 in 3 people interested in me pre-knowing about my being trans and non-op are still into me after.

The key, like I've discussed numerous times in this forum, is get your head together.  The more comfortable you are with yourself, the easier finding relationships becomes.

[Hillarync]

thanks pheonix, that gives me hope =)

[tekla]

Actually, I don't think it takes any vast observation skills to find out that the outlaws in this world have a hella lot more solidarity than the straights of any and all stripes.

[Shang]

If you are in this forum, chances are you are a non-op transperson.   So, 1) why not, and 2) how do you cope?

1. I'm non-op because I probably could never get approved to go through with the whole thing, plus I have a funky body and I don't know if I could handle it.  Plus, partial transition is really all I want before I die.

2. I just concentrate on other things, like playing with the dog that's whining at me currently 'cause she dropped the toy and won't bring it to me.  I focus on school and helps me get through everything.

I'm jealous, phoenix.  I haven't been able to start T and I fail at the dating scene entirely, it's been over two years since I've been on a date with anyone, so I'm actually a little scared of starting T because of this.