Change in sexual orientation ????????

[Jeannette]

No change in sexual preference here.  I've always been straight.

I don't need a man to justify or complete my womanhood.

By saying this you're implying that all hetero gals like myself are only attracted to men to "justify" or "complete" our womanhood & that isn't true.  I kinda find it offensive to tell you the truth.  It's the same as saying that identifying as lesbian justifies or completes a lesbian trans woman's womanhood since only women and females can be lesbian.  See where I'm going with this?  you don't find men attractive because you aren't hetero & I don't find women attractive because I'm not lesbian.  That's sufficient . The rest is just semantics.

Agreed Leslie.  My heterosexuality doesn't make me better or more real than anybody else.  By the same token my lesbian sisters aren't better than me or more real than me  either   Why can't we ever discuss anything on this forum without upping ourselves or demeaning others? It's like you never win around here.  If you're heterosexual you're just trying to "justify" your womanhood.  If you're a lesbian you're just trying to "justify" your womanhood too.  Good grief, get real peeps.  We like what we like & what we like doesn't make us more or less than other peeps.

[Jaimey]

We like what we like & what we like doesn't make us more or less than other peeps.

Amen, Sister! 

[Brianna]

My two cents is that it's more about acceptance than the hormones themselves.  I think the more we feel like ourselves, the more we learn about ourselves. 

That makes alot of sense. Before I came out as Trans, I absloutely hated myself. Since I came out, I've been actually giving myself compliments and really liking myself. Today I can say without any reservation, that I love my life and am very comfortable with myself.

[Jaimey]

That makes alot of sense. Before I came out as Trans, I absloutely hated myself. Since I came out, I've been actually giving myself compliments and really liking myself. Today I can say without any reservation, that I love my life and am very comfortable with myself.

That's really awesome!  I'm happy for you!

[Ashley315]

No change in sexual preference here.  I've always been straight.

By saying this you're implying that all hetero gals like myself are only attracted to men to "justify" or "complete" our womanhood & that isn't true.  I kinda find it offensive to tell you the truth.  It's the same as saying that identifying as lesbian justifies or completes a lesbian trans woman's womanhood since only women and females can be lesbian.  See where I'm going with this?  you don't find men attractive because you aren't hetero & I don't find women attractive because I'm not lesbian.  That's sufficient . The rest is just semantics.

Not what I'm saying at all, but it's been put to me that way before by hetero transwomen.  The age old, "why are you transitioning if you want to be with a woman?".  My point was that because I am trans and lesbian does not make me any less of a woman than a trans hetero woman.  I have run into many who feel they are more "justified" in their transition and are somehow more womanly than me, and that is simply not true.

[Butterfly]

My point was that because I am trans and lesbian does not make me any less of a woman than a trans hetero woman.

Exactly. That's quite obvious. People shouldn't be reminded of it.

I have run into many who feel they are more "justified" in their transition and are somehow more womanly than me..

That's silly. I hope it wasn't here. How does sexual orientation make anyone "more womanly"? ~shrug~  They should be cautious how they phrase their thoughts especially on a support site such as Susan's.

[Ashley315]

I have run into it here. 

[Yvonne]

The age old, "why are you transitioning if you want to be with a woman?"

Lol There are dumb people everywhere, I swear.  Not only stupid logic but also a subtle implication that sexual orientation can be chosen. Best thing is to stay away from stupid people like that. Not a lesbian myself but I'm against stupid people that can't differentiate between sex & gender

[Janet Merai]

To help out here I feel like I am a lesbian and also open towards transsexuals or a girl with a male part down there.

My girlfriend is male physically as of now but that will change down the road.

In my mind I always pictured myself as a emo styled (non attitude wise) lesbian and 100% non-butch or male like, very feminine.

I prefer transsexuals (female with a male part) and woman alike but I have never found myself attracted to men, not once.
(I am not taking hormones or starting anything as of yet, but I will eventually)

[Ashley315]

The way I look at it, if you are lucky enough to find true love anywhere then who cares what package it comes in. (or with  )  I was just lucky enough to find true love in the form of another woman who shares my passion for life.  My wish if for everyone to find that one person (or persons as the case may be) that truly makes them happy.

[Jeannette]

Agreed.  I'm one of those lucky women that's been able to find true love in the package of a tall, dark, buffed, handsome bloke But no matter what your package of preference is, take good care of them, don't abuse them & learn to appreciate them because it isn't easy to find true love out there..doesn't matter if you're trans or not.

[Butterfly]

Agreed.  I'm one of those lucky women that's been able to find true love in the package of a tall, dark, buffed, handsome bloke But no matter what your package of preference is, take good care of them, don't abuse them & learn to appreciate them because it isn't easy to find true love out there..doesn't matter if you're trans or not.

Weird. Sounds familiar.  Having read your recent posts about Spain, I've got to ask, he isn't from Tenerife, is he?..a Latin lover from Spain?  All my boyfriends have been from Spain ~laugh~ I know what you mean though.  My bloke's exactly the same as yours, buffed, tall, dark skinned & like you say, I do take care of him & give him what he wants. ~wink~

[Janet Merai]

I find it difficult to understand why most common trans wish to take a stereotype when their goal is to be their inner female of the part they never explored.

When I look at myself as a female, I see a path I have never taken before and wish to fulfill... it also does not mean having a man, woman, transgender or transsexual or any in-between people in my life, it simply means being myself.

This whole topic suddenly took a nose-dive into the "I will be me if I..." and you have NO idea who you even are.

I spent four, going on five, years looking at myself, thinking, taking my time and seeing what I like or dislike and I can tell you, I am SO glad I took that option before I thought of ANYTHING.
When you take a stereotype such as wanting to be a woman, that is FINE, but when you decide you have to do something everyone else is doing to justify your jealousy or being envious of someone, that just points you in the wrong direction.

Do I see myself as a straight girl who follows the bible or anything already done and set in this world?
No, I see myself as being original, making a difference and being myself both inside and out.
Will I be COMFORTABLE with myself as a female or was I male all along?

These were questions I asked myself YEARS ago and I found only one thing made sense, I do not see myself as a male and I see myself as a female being my own person.

What is the point in being a stereotype when you later decide to change your decision based on something else you like?
It really makes no sense if you think about the future based on that decision, you may not even like it.

The point is to explore yourself, think about it and see if it makes you happy.
Sometimes it can be a very hard road to tackle, but when you do it it is rewarding in the end.

I recommend searching yourself before you do much because it will take a LONG time to actually understand yourself and I have yet to finally find everything about myself.

Good luck :3

[Jeannette]

Weird. Sounds familiar.  Having read your recent posts about Spain, I've got to ask, he isn't from Tenerife, is he?..a Latin lover from Spain? 

No he's a French lover, from Nice!

[VioletNight]

What is the point in being a stereotype when you later decide to change your decision based on something else you like?
It really makes no sense if you think about the future based on that decision, you may not even like it.

What if somebody likes something that just so happens to be a stereotype? Anyone can like whatever they like, whether it is common or not. And it is perfectly okay to change your mind. If down the line you decide you do not like it anymore, change. Then if you change your mind again, change again. Keep doing what you enjoy while you enjoy it.

[chrysalis]

I each post of this thread and didn't see this mentioned so I'll throw this out there. Isn't it, at least theoretically, possible for a TV or fetishistic TV to adopt an attraction to men (assuming a male TV of course) if it is identified by the TV as a way of expressing femininity?

At least it seems to me that this is possible with fetishistic TV's, but I don't see all that big of a difference between TVs, and FTVs.

[placeholdername]

I think theoretically, fetishistic TV is considered a 'paraphilic' sexual turnon to wearing opposite sex clothing, just as people develop all sorts of 'paraphilic' attractions to thing like nylon stockings or cheerleaders or whatever.  I think the whole idea of 'paraphilias' is pretty dumb -- trying to define what 'normal' sexuality is is like trying to define what a 'normal' person looks like, which is to say that you can't because everyone is way different.

Anyway, sexual orientation, yes.  I'm confused.  First I was like, I'm lesbian, and then I was 'open' to being attracted to guys (well, more specifically the idea of sex with a guy, as a girl).  But now I'm thinking, if I met a guy that I liked, would I be open to an actual relationship?  But I'm pessimistic about that because as far as relationships go, I've met very few guys who I would possibly consider worthwhile.  So then I was thinking -- how different is that from what any straight/bi girl faces?  So maybe it really doesn't matter to me what gender someone is if it works, it's more that I've met *WAY* more girls I'd want to date than I've met guys I'd want to date.

It's weird writing about this because for a long time I just totally shut out even the thought of being attracted to guys but now I say screw that.  I've even managed to stop myself from squirming during the gay scenes in the TV show Brothers and Sisters on ABC which, despite being super soap opera-y and predictable, has really helped me become more comfortable with seeing gay guys express physical/romantic affection.  It's not my thing personally but it feels good to not be such a homophobe .

[Zelane]

Not what I'm saying at all, but it's been put to me that way before by hetero transwomen.  The age old, "why are you transitioning if you want to be with a woman?".  My point was that because I am trans and lesbian does not make me any less of a woman than a trans hetero woman.  I have run into many who feel they are more "justified" in their transition and are somehow more womanly than me, and that is simply not true.

Sadly that comes from the (ignorant) belief that gays want to become woman in order to be with other men. Because if you like guys you are a woman right? And if you like girls you are a guy right?

Tell that to lesbians and gays. They will at least spit on your face.


Perhaps some Tgirls feel more justified on their transition because they are more close to the "standard" of the female role in society. You know being a hetero-nice looking-female.

[imaz]

Sadly that comes from the (ignorant) belief that gays want to become woman in order to be with other men. Because if you like guys you are a woman right? And if you like girls you are a guy right?

Tell that to lesbians and gays. They will at least spit on your face.


Perhaps some Tgirls feel more justified on their transition because they are more close to the "standard" of the female role in society. You know being a hetero-nice looking-female.

Too right!

[chrysalis]

I think theoretically, fetishistic TV is considered a 'paraphilic' sexual turnon to wearing opposite sex clothing, just as people develop all sorts of 'paraphilic' attractions to thing like nylon stockings or cheerleaders or whatever.  I think the whole idea of 'paraphilias' is pretty dumb -- trying to define what 'normal' sexuality is is like trying to define what a 'normal' person looks like, which is to say that you can't because everyone is way different.

Well you can still look at it as a behavior instead of placing it in the context of the behavior of the majority. Basically don't refer to it as "deviant" sexual behavior, and just call it all behavior.

In any case what I'm proposing is that an FTV can adopt into their schema of turn ons etc. more than just clothes, but also behaviors, and even attitudes. My understanding is that if it can be perceived, or more specifically believed to be perceived, then it can be fetish-ized.

The core of my question though is if it can happen for FTV's, then can it happen for TV's as well? Assuming it can I think it opens up a lot of interesting possibilities by further eroding the current borders in the trans community. What I think I see is a form of acquired GID (you know like the old joke, "What's the difference between TV & TS?"), as opposed to that which one is born with. Of course there are differences between them, but it seems like they would share common emotional ground, while differing in their method of arrival.