Finding Love

[Paulina]

In the beginning I am do not think I need love, but it would be nice. When I reach my 30's I believe that I want love (serious love like true), and I do not know what are the chances of finding a man who accept a transsexual (where I look passable, probably beautiful, and post operation). It would be a hard concept, since they would be consider homosexual perhaps. Then they will be gross out, and cuss, and run off yelling.

Anyways if a relationship would start, I will tell before a first kiss, since it is not fair if they do not know, how do you handle this? Is it hard to find someone, other than someone who wants to see me as a strange kinky sex object? Or a guy who is really old (past 65), and would go for a young woman who looks great versus someone who is an old woman. Or just a plain creepy guy... (Even though I might be creepy to society), but I mean creepy creepy.  

Anyways how do you manage to find love? 

[Walter]

I've had only a little experience with love. I've never been in a true relationship since I've been a guy. There are people who see transsexuals as what you said "kinky sex objects" but those are the kinda people you don't wanna date..But on the other hand, there are people who will see you as a woman and not be affected by the transsexual thing. People like that may not be common but they're out there

I kinda suck at this lol



-Amon

[V M]

When I look for love, I don't find it. Usually love finds me when I least expect it.

[Northern Jane]

I have  been kicking around "on this side of the fence" for a LONG time. I don't identify as transsexual (that was an affliction from which I was cured) and I don't talk about it.

The best approach, I think, is to give LOTS of time for someone to get to know you, the REAL you, and for the relationship to start to evolve from friendship to something deeper before ever mentioning it.

A person's vision of you takes time to develop and once developed it is difficult to change so don't be in a rush.

For a relationship with a man, a GREAT deal will depend on his own self-confidence and his insecurities. A man who is secure in his own manhood and who sees you as a woman will have a lot better chance of being around after "The Talk".

[K8]

When I look for love, I don't find it. Usually love finds me when I least expect it.

That's been my experience, too.

The best approach, I think, is to give LOTS of time for someone to get to know you, the REAL you, and for the relationship to start to evolve from friendship to something deeper before ever mentioning it.

A person's vision of you takes time to develop and once developed it is difficult to change so don't be in a rush.

For a relationship with a man, a GREAT deal will depend on his own self-confidence and his insecurities. A man who is secure in his own manhood and who sees you as a woman will have a lot better chance of being around after "The Talk".

I think that's good, too.

I'm older and don't expect to have this as an issue.  I was talking to a 70 year-old cis-woman friend about surgery and said I really didn't expect to have sex again and so wouldn't need a vagina.  She shot back: You never know.

So, you never know.  Be open to love and it will find you.  Let it progress at its own pace.  Don't be impatient to tell of your background but don't hide it either.  With luck you'll know when the time is right.

- Kate

[Carolyn]

I've known my boyfriend for 10 years and we have been dating for about 8 months. He knew me as Joshua Schaible for 8 1/2 years as his best friend and greatest rival until March of last year, and since Saturday June 14th 2008 at 9:34 PM we have been an item. He kind of knew my real self all 8 1/2 years until I come out but he thought I was a gay guy but hey.

[Paulina]

Carolyn, wow, how did he manage to change his whole viewpoint of you being a guy, even though its a gay guy? I would think most best friends would generally accept it, but it would be hard to think "Oh he's a girl now, finally I could ask her out!".

Lol, that seems rare, but awesome.

[Jay]

I haven't been in love as yet. But I have met a couple of girls which nothing has come up from.

One wanted to mark **** a ->-bleeped-<- off her list.   

The other girl, I think was just bi-curious (which she wouldn't admit) and didn't see me as male but because other people did she thought it was okay to try and get into a relationship with me. With out being gay I thankfully had no interest in her at all.

I have many profiles on different dating sites no luck as yet not even a date.

But as everyone says you always find love when you are least expecting it.

Jay

[Miniar]

I found love on an irc based, topic-specific (otherkin), chat, in the form of an old acquaintance that I suddenly realized (through a series of rather unusual events) was of the same sexual taste as I.
That flirtatious and playful sort of conversations then evolved to become one where we would confide in one another and he was the first person I "came out" to.

Honesty is what I've learned from it. Honesty and communication.. that's how you find love.

[K8]

Honesty is what I've learned from it. Honesty and communication.. that's how you find love.

Yes, as usual Miniar is right.   

[Carolyn]

Carolyn, wow, how did he manage to change his whole viewpoint of you being a guy, even though its a gay guy? I would think most best friends would generally accept it, but it would be hard to think "Oh he's a girl now, finally I could ask her out!".

Lol, that seems rare, but awesome.

Yea, basically that is how it happened, I was talking to him and we were in a conversion and he after beating around the bush for about an hour asked me out. So yea, Damion is very different from anyone I have ever known