Being Transgender Vs. Being Gay/Lesbian

[bigbreastlover4269]

I apologies to the mods if this is not the appropriate thread to talk about this in but...

My mom and I have had this arguement a few times before. She tends to thing transgender people are gay, and just because a man acting feminine makes him gay.

I have a mild form of autism so it can be a little difficult for me to vindicate my point, as the following explaination could seem a bit confusing.

She even argues "But it all fits under the TBLG category." I don't know the exact order of the letter acrynym but I thing G is the last letter and T the first. But when we do talk about this issue, she does bring up that good point but that still doesn't mean transgenders are gays.

She might even mention that transgender people are acting outside of their givin gender which could mean gay but doesn't understand that somebody being feminine despite being a man is not gay.

Being gay means that a man likes other men and lesbian meaning a woman likes other women. That's all homosexual means. There are even the dictionaries to prove it! Backing up my point, the Merriam Webster Dictionary defines gay as "homosexual". I'm not going to copy and paste the dictionary word-for-word but it indicates that a gay man likes other men. "Trangender" means feeling as though they were born the wrong gender, although the dictionary gave me this rather confusing definition for it.

Take me for example;
I am a girl, but i'm physically male. I do have feminine traits, yes. BUTI have a desire for other women. So I am NOT gay. If anything else I would be a lesbian.

Simply put, a guy could have ALLLLL the feminine traits in the world but if he still likes women, he's still straight!

It's an obvious fact that a cisgender person (one who identifies with their assigned gender; in other words, a non-transgender person) can be a homosexual.

Those of you who support my argument help me get my facts straight so that next time we argue this I can actually win.

[Pariah]

Anyone who's ever heard this topic before that I've ever met, we all try to put it in the simplest term possible. Or maybe that's just amongst me and my online comminty of friends? Oh well. What we say is:

"Gender and Sexual orientation are two totally different things." Simply, homosexuality is not ->-bleeped-<-. Just like ->-bleeped-<- is not transvestitism. There's no way to confuse them (though people somehow do.)

The best of luck to try to explain this to your mother. 

[bigbreastlover4269]

*confused face*

I... kinda... in a way thought that being a transvestide corelates with being transgender, because if you're transgender then you would want to dress to appear as a member of you desired gender... or that's just how i think of it. I could be wrong though.

[Janet_Girl]

A ->-bleeped-<- is generally a man who dresses as a woman, but live as a man.  For many it is a part time thing.  They are more often call CD or cross dresser.

A Transsexual is one who identifies with that opposite of their birth gender.  It has nothing to due with dressing in the clothes of the gender they identify with.  However most do.  I am a M2F,  That means that I identify as a woman, although I am still cursed with a male body.  I do dress as a woman, but for the same reason as an other woman.  I feel comfortable dressing as I am.

I hated dressing in male clothes, and called it being in drag.

I hope that helps.

Janet

[Janet Merai]

For the longest time I have been telling others who I come out to:

"It is very difficult to explain why I feel like I need to be a woman, but this feeling is unique and it takes the other person to actually feel the need to be a woman to truly understand how we feel.
Simply trying to come to an understanding when you have no prior knowledge of it makes it difficult if you have no idea what it is like, but you have to actually experience it."

For others who seem to want a short sentence:

"I am asked this question all the time on why I feel the need to be a woman, you have to actually want to be a woman for this to make sense."

I find these "why can't you just be a guy who likes woman?" and "why not just dress up and pretend you are a woman." statements a "lol" just like trolls post useless hateful information on guest websites.

You have to be on to understand one, simply trying to understand is like trying to pilot an airplane with no idea how it works.

[Sophie90]

Transgender = feels their gender is different from birth sex. May like women, men, both, neither.

It is not a "sexuality", as such. Or at all. It's a physical affliction.

[bigbreastlover4269]

That makes total sense Blueflare.

Transgender has nothing to do with sexuality, at all! I forgot to mention this in the opening post but when I said my mother said it falls under the TLBG category. That's right. They do.

Saying homosexuality and ->-bleeped-<- are the same thing is just like saying somebody having autism and being retarded are the same thing, which a good percentage of people do confuse. But they ARE NOT THE SAME!!!

To Janet Merai:
Your post makes sense as well. But I think if you really stress to them how fustrated you are about your body's gender, the person/people you're coming out to can at least see how you're feeling, y'know?

To the other Janet:
People tend to confuse these two words together as well but actually, a transsexual is somebody who changes their body to look like the other gender.

To everyone:

Here are my version of all the terms in a nutshell:

Trangender: one who feels that their gender @ birth does not correspond with their gender identity.
Transvestide: one who dresses to appear as their (I don't want to say "opposite") desired gender
Transexual: one who changes his/her sex organs via surgery to appear as the member of their desired gender
Homosexual: one who is attracted to persons of their matching gender

I didn't mean to make a dictionary with these terms but I've been thinking about it since I made this thread and wanted to get people to really know what these terms mean.

[Janet_Girl]

Transexual: one who changes his/her sex organs via surgery to appear as the member of their desired gender

True to a point.  What of the non-op or Orchie Only or F2M who only have top surgery?

Janet.