Is this normal after confessing that you are trans?

[antarcticsake]

So I've absolutely come to the realization that I am trans.  I just know it. there are so many signs and I feel awful and gross being trapped in this masculine wire cage of a body.
now.

I told my mom tonight even though i've dropped hints and everything went peachy keen, which i knew it woudl she's really open-minded.  But somehoow...the fact that it came out of my mouth like...freaked me out. completely.
i know who i am bu ti'm so freaked out now.
does this ever happen?  Is it me going back into denial!?

I was never technically in denial b/c i didn't even know that someone could switch genders until I was like 12/13, and I never thought I was that even though all along I had all the signs haha.

What do you think?  For instance. Peopl esay to me: You might just be a feminine gay guy. And I say to them, well basically that it's possible, except I feel very feminine, always compare my body to women's, want to have women's curves, softness, hair, along with a LOT of other factors like clothign and etc.  So...it's just confusing.  I don't know what to think now haha.

I mean surely we can't be comfortable as silk at all times right?

[Vicky]

Lets see ---how many people are on these boards?  I don't know whether its 1200 or 12,000, someone will tell you, but if its the 12K, then probably 4 times that number of times ("2" many) has your situation  happened to each of us.  You will flip and flop with this up until ---  whatever limit you finally hit!!  (Hopefully it will not be a tree at 120mph/200kph.)  Look around here and you may even find some really hilarious times it has happened, and you will find others that will test your tendencies toward tears!!!

"I absolutely deny that I am in Denial.  I'm not even in Egypt!!!"

Not really a silly question, but one that gives room for a humorous answer.  One that we only tell members of the life.   

[Sandy]

So I've absolutely come to the realization that I am trans.  I just know it. there are so many signs and I feel awful and gross being trapped in this masculine wire cage of a body.
now.

I told my mom tonight even though i've dropped hints and everything went peachy keen, which i knew it woudl she's really open-minded.  But somehoow...the fact that it came out of my mouth like...freaked me out. completely.
i know who i am bu ti'm so freaked out now.
does this ever happen?  Is it me going back into denial!?

I was never technically in denial b/c i didn't even know that someone could switch genders until I was like 12/13, and I never thought I was that even though all along I had all the signs haha.

What do you think?  For instance. Peopl esay to me: You might just be a feminine gay guy. And I say to them, well basically that it's possible, except I feel very feminine, always compare my body to women's, want to have women's curves, softness, hair, along with a LOT of other factors like clothign and etc.  So...it's just confusing.  I don't know what to think now haha.

I mean surely we can't be comfortable as silk at all times right?

First off the number of members is probably around 1800.

Other people may be confused about you, but it sounds like you are not confused about yourself.  Not everyone is an expert.  So if people try to convince you that you are gay, consider the source.

I have heard of someone trying to convince a person that being trans was a big step and perhaps they should try being gay first.  Of course, they didn't know that gender identity and sexual orientation are two different things.

Being freaked is really ok.  You've taken a step outside of your comfort zone.  It is confusing, but you really have to make up your own mind and not let others influence you too much.

Probably your next step is to get to a counselor who is familiar with gender issues who can help you understand your feelings how to deal with them.

-Sandy

[placeholdername]

I just talked about for the first time with a non-internet person on monday (psychologist at the gender clinic) and it was definitely very awkward to say.  But at the same time, saying it makes it a bit more real and I'm just really excited to continue and get to where I want to be.  But it's a pretty profound thing -- we're talking about literally transforming our bodies into what some might say is the complete opposite of how they started.  Very few people in life even think about attempting what we want to do and have done.

[Nicky]

This is not really answering your direct question, but I thought I would mention a few things you might find helpful.

My counsellor said to me that it takes time to be able to express to others what is on the inside and it is even harder when you have not figured everything out on the inside. It is not easy.

Something she told me that I have found really useful is to tell people that you are still learning how to express this feeling and it won't always come out right the first time, that you are still sorting stuff out in your head. Perhaps the best answer you can give sometimes is I just feel it, can't explain it better than that at the moment but I just feel it. In time it will become easier.

[Nero]

The first person I ever came out to was my methadone clinic shrink. I really liked her and we had this great relationship and even though she was really accepting and cool about it, I knew she pitied me for having such a horrible malady. Suddenly, I was very uncomfortable around her because she knew and I felt pitiful and ashamed of having this condition. It was in my own mind, not hers.
So, yeah it felt strange and awful to my own ears and sensibilities the first time I admitted it to a real life person.

[Janet Merai]

Sadly, the only people who have had issues with my decision have been 100% religious people.

Every person I meet who happens to be either religious or has some faith in god (whatever they call it or believe in) usually has some crappy god story and why my decision may be wrong.

Other than that I have little support and have a stubborn attitude to go with my life the way I see fit :3

I first came out to my gay friend and then to others and my entire family knows now and my parents are the only ones who are against my decision, my siblings are okay with it (I have been told by them directly and even asked them) even though my parents have told me otherwise.
Strange, eh?

[Ms.Behavin]

You know we all grow up thinking we're just like everyone else, but then you start to realize that everyone else is not the same and they are not the ones with the problem.  I knew I was a girl for a long time, but tried to hide it, was in denial of it, for so long.  It's pretty hard to realize that, Oh crap, it's not going to change or go away ever.  The only peace is to accept oneself and move on.  I know for me it's wow so much easier now.  I mean I'm not weird anymore.  In that my actions / behaviours are consistant with who I am and how people interact.  I'm not that strange quite guy, I'm the friendly chick.   

Beni

[Jaimey]

I told my mom tonight even though i've dropped hints and everything went peachy keen, which i knew it woudl she's really open-minded.  But somehoow...the fact that it came out of my mouth like...freaked me out. completely.

So you've only dropped hints right?  And your mom seems okay with it?  (Just to make sure I'm reading it correctly because I have a theory )

To me, it sounds like you are anxious because things haven't been made clear.  I think you'll feel better if you tell your mom clearly and she accepts you clearly.  Even though you can anticipate her answer, without actually hearing it, you give yourself room to doubt. 

I think you're reaction is perfectly normal and I don't think you're going back into denial or anything like that.  *hugs*

[Jay]

I am 100% fine with it when I tell people its just when I say things about being a male and then I realise I am not bio male. Hits me..

Strange but meh?!?

I understand where you are coming from, it does help saying it outloud sometimes though.

Jay