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How many of you are "NG's"? (Nice Guys/Girls)

Started by lostandconfused, April 16, 2009, 12:02:00 PM

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lostandconfused

April 16, 2009, 12:02:00 PM
Just sorta wondering, how many of you ended up as the guy who had more female friends than male, and became THE definition of "sensitive and caring"? (And never stood a chance against any other guy in terms of relationships  :-\ )

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=nice%20guy

Nothing important behind this really, just curious.
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Mr. Fox

#1
April 16, 2009, 02:22:56 PM
I am, definately.  I'm the shoulder to cry on, the one to call on the phone when you're feeling down, etc. etc.  All of my close friends are girls; I actually relate better to girls then guys.  Meh, I think I can relate to them both pretty well, but guys won't open up about feelings (and girls usually won't talk about their sex lives, although the most sexual person I ever knew was most definately female).
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Miniar

#2
April 16, 2009, 02:55:34 PM
I've always had more male friend than female ones, but never the less been seen as the "nice guy".



"Everyone who has ever built anywhere a new heaven first found the power thereto in his own hell" - Nietzsche
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Kara Lee

#3
April 16, 2009, 04:42:26 PM
yea, that's me.  ppl I talk with at work just say I'm the nicest guy around.
"Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." -- Benjamin Franklin
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V M

#4
April 16, 2009, 04:55:31 PM
I've been the "go to" guy/gal for years  :P
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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MarySue

#5
April 16, 2009, 04:59:06 PM
That might have described me perfectly -- except that I went to an all-male high school, followed by an engineering college that was co-ed in name only. So I didn't have the opportunity to have many "gal pals." And I had even fewer male friends.

But, yeah, the few girls I did know never hesitated to complain to me about the macho guys they dated.
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Pica Pica

#6
April 16, 2009, 05:00:54 PM
I almost certainly am.
'For the circle may be squared with rising and swelling.' Kit Smart
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placeholdername

#7
April 16, 2009, 05:04:09 PM
I've definitely always been the "nice guy".    But there's an important difference between us (who are nice) and the guys who are 'nice' but really just want to get in the girls' pants:

http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2007/12/explainer-what-is-nice-guy.html

I don't agree with everything on that site (they get kind of touchy), but they're pretty accurate with that particular article.
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anewlife123

#8
April 16, 2009, 05:20:20 PM
The whole concept pisses me off to no end and I refuse to ever be put into such a category ever ...
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Nero

#9
April 16, 2009, 05:22:31 PM
Quote from: Loving_kindness_4_all on April 16, 2009, 05:20:20 PM
The whole concept pisses me off to no end and I refuse to ever be put into such a category ever ...

you serious lol?
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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anewlife123

#10
April 16, 2009, 05:31:15 PM
Quote from: Nero on April 16, 2009, 05:22:31 PM
you serious lol?

Yes ... the only exception is if I am openly having a sexual relationship with a girl, then I just barely tolerate it.

Naturally, it is wise not to ever fall into the nice guy trap to begin with, but if you ever do fall into that trap you are pretty much forced to either stop being one and actually start seducing the girls or to be confrontational to get yourself out of it. Note that being confrontational actually makes you look desperate and while it is a sure way to stop being a nice guy, it also makes you lose. It is possible to turn girl friends into more if you start doing things a bit differently.

I think I use to fall into the trap a little when I was younger, and was friend with some girls. Being friends with girls in a way that a 'nice guy' is described is pretty much akin to hating ones self. When you really love yourself, you won't let yourself fall into that trap. And when you really love others, you start doing things the right way. That is my take on it.
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Pica Pica

#11
April 16, 2009, 05:37:28 PM
I like friends. Even girl ones.
'For the circle may be squared with rising and swelling.' Kit Smart
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Nero

#12
April 16, 2009, 05:42:35 PM
Quote from: Loving_kindness_4_all on April 16, 2009, 05:31:15 PM
Yes ... the only exception is if I am openly having a sexual relationship with a girl, then I just barely tolerate it.

Naturally, it is wise not to ever fall into the nice guy trap to begin with, but if you ever do fall into that trap you are pretty much forced to either stop being one and actually start seducing the girls or to be confrontational to get yourself out of it. Note that being confrontational actually makes you look desperate and while it is a sure way to stop being a nice guy, it also makes you lose. It is possible to turn girl friends into more if you start doing things a bit differently.

I think I use to fall into the trap a little when I was younger, and was friend with some girls. Being friends with girls in a way that a 'nice guy' is described is pretty much akin to hating ones self. When you really love yourself, you won't let yourself fall into that trap. And when you really love others, you start doing things the right way. That is my take on it.

I dunno. I always envied the guys with tons of girl friends. I never had that, even as a so-called girl.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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placeholdername

#13
April 16, 2009, 05:54:37 PM
Quote from: Loving_kindness_4_all on April 16, 2009, 05:31:15 PM
Yes ... the only exception is if I am openly having a sexual relationship with a girl, then I just barely tolerate it.

Naturally, it is wise not to ever fall into the nice guy trap to begin with, but if you ever do fall into that trap you are pretty much forced to either stop being one and actually start seducing the girls or to be confrontational to get yourself out of it. Note that being confrontational actually makes you look desperate and while it is a sure way to stop being a nice guy, it also makes you lose. It is possible to turn girl friends into more if you start doing things a bit differently.

I think I use to fall into the trap a little when I was younger, and was friend with some girls. Being friends with girls in a way that a 'nice guy' is described is pretty much akin to hating ones self. When you really love yourself, you won't let yourself fall into that trap. And when you really love others, you start doing things the right way. That is my take on it.

But that's exactly what I mean -- some guys just fall into the nice guy trap, but some of us just honestly want to be friends with girls without all the dumb aggressive sexuality stuff making things awkward.
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Janet Merai

#14
April 16, 2009, 06:23:04 PM
Well, I am not sure what this means 100% but I will say some people come to me (mostly female) about their problems or issues.

I have not been going out as much earlier but now that I have been getting out more, more people are kind of asking me or help.

On the other hand I do not like being known as a guy but I am as of right now physically seen as the "nice" and "sensitive" guy.
I just have sympathy for others and they come to me more.
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V M

#15
April 16, 2009, 06:48:17 PM
I suppose it would depend on your personal interpretation of what nice is  :P
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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Ms.Behavin

#16
April 16, 2009, 11:32:55 PM
Hum.  Well never had guy friends at all.  still working on that one.  So all my friends were girls and yes It was hard being a good guy as it became hard to have just friends.  Still working on that but it's easier now.  I'm still nice. ( it costs nothing to be nice after all)..But I'm just a bit too different for most to be anything but friends with.

Beni
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V M

#17
April 17, 2009, 12:04:19 AM
I keep all relationships on a "just friends" basis at this time
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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Jaimey

#18
April 17, 2009, 12:05:52 AM
Quote from: Miniar on April 16, 2009, 02:55:34 PM
I've always had more male friend than female ones, but never the less been seen as the "nice guy".

While the ratio of male/female friends seems to fluctuate for me, I'm generally the nice guy too...I don't (usually) mind.
If curiosity really killed the cat, I'd already be dead. :laugh:

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." GWC
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Osiris

#19
April 17, 2009, 12:18:03 AM
I guess I could be seen as a nice guy. I've had several female friends though there is usually some sort of flirting or attraction which sometimes leads to relationships. So I don't feel like I have no chance when it comes to relationships. I have just as good a shot as anybody. *shrugs*
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