What are possible reasons for androgynes as transsexuals in denial?

[sd]

Good point. Though a lot of them have self esteem issues I think.

[Laurry]

If I were to transition, I don't think much would change, except I'd have more fun showing off my boobs 

Hey!  Cut it out!  You want to poke somebody's eye out with those things?  Sheesh...kids and their toys...next you'll be sticking them in the freezer to see just how "bright" your headlights can get

Still...I know exactly what you mean.


As far as being in denial...HOW DOES ONE KNOW? 

It seems to me that most of the TS folks I have talked with know they are.  Chances are very good that if you have always thought you were a girl and somebody made a horrible mistake by giving you a male-configured body, there isn't a lot of doubt.

I would be very curious as to how many people in this forum never had a clue they were TS, and then one day a bolt of lightning from the sky struck them (figuratively) and they magically became transsexual with no warnings or buried feelings from their childhood finally coming to the surface.

I imagine that, while possible, this doesn't happen that frequently.  (Then again, I have been known to be terribly naive.)  Many will wait until later to act on it, for a variety of reasons, but those I've spoken to seem to have always known or at least had the feeling that something was terribly wrong.

I will also admit that I had never truly explored my transgendered status until later in life.  Oh, I have memories of wanting to be a girl (I also have memories of wanting to fly, so take that for what it is worth), but never any sense that I actually was one.  I still don't consider myself to be a girl.  Could that change in the future?  Anything is possible, and while I doubt that I will find I am TS, I've been through too much of life (and been wrong too often) to proclaim that it never will.

So, until such a time as my existence on earth has come to an end, I will continue through this journey called life, awaiting new and exciting discoveries around each corner (or just more of the same old boring stuff over and over and over).  The best I can do is to be honest about who I am as a person, (both to myself and to others), and strive to just be me...whoever and whatever that is. 

...Laurry

P.S.  Labels?  We don't need no stinking labels...

[Pica Pica]

P.S.  Labels?  We don't need no stinking labels...

get lost in the post without 'em

[ZaidaZadkiel]

get lost in the post without 'em

if you want to do something right, you have to do it yourself.

[Pica Pica]

if you want to do something right, you have to do it yourself.

don't tell Simone that - works for UPS

[Eva Marie]

I think that the androgynes that might be TS know it, but maybe androgyne is a safe spot to land while they work through their situation. To each his own.

As for the rest of us, like Gerry Rafferty said, "we're stuck in the middle with you". My male parts are ok but female parts would be about the same. An androgynous look might be cool, but not always. Some days feel girly, some days do not. No doubt here about being androgyne.

[Simone Louise]

Here's a thought; we haven't discussed those who start down the TS path only to discover they are androgynes in denial. I've noticed some stop, some pause, and some continue down that path.

Pica, you are so right. Unlabeled boxes are carried directly to overgoods where they languish until someone claims them or they are sold at auction. So sad.

Far from the Nile,
S

[Shana A]

Here's a thought; we haven't discussed those who start down the TS path only to discover they are androgynes in denial. I've noticed some stop, some pause, and some continue down that path.

I started on TS path, was there for a while before realizing that I was androgyne (and/or non-op transgender).

Z

[imaz]

I started on TS path, was there for a while before realizing that I was androgyne (and/or non-op transgender).

Z

Same here, only coming on this site has made me begin to realise it. Not sure if it's really that or having found peace with my femininity having always been butch in some ways

[Pica Pica]

I started down the TS path, was all lined up with a gender counsellor and that when i realised it wasn't mine.

[lisa_a]

I was wondering what possible motivators there would be for a person who's really trans to settle themselves into the androgyne camp.

For me it's like a womans psychology, body of a man=androgyne. I think androgyne is a good description, it's in the middle, you can do whatever you like. Makes things easier.

[Seshatneferw]

I started down the TS path, was all lined up with a gender counsellor and that when i realised it wasn't mine.

But then, you are the smart one.
It took me a year and a half of monthly counselling sessions to come to the same conclusion.

  Nfr

[Lokaeign]

Could it be fear of stigma?

I'm currently read as a non-gender conforming female by most people.  Arguably there's a certain degree of  stigma there already.  More importantly, though, I have experienced all manner of stigmatisation for all manner of things--seizure disorder, mental illness, certain aspects of my faith, being a kinkster, being a switch... the list goes on.  Sometimes this has lead to harassment.  Sometimes--mercifully rarely--it's lead to violence.  Stigma is not a stranger to me.


Could it be fear of losing family and friends?

Anyone who would reject a person for being trans is no great loss.  I'd be perfectly happy to scythe away any undetected bigots in my orbit, including bigots I happened to share genetic material with.


Could it be the desire for normality?

Desire... for..?  Hah.  Haha.  AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

In all seriousness I guess I might present more towards the "masculine" end of the spectrum if I didn't have to worry about jobs, etc, but I already wear very androgynous clothes most days.  If I look female it's because my body betrays me, not my men's jeans or workboots.


Fear of change?

I've lived in 3 different countries in the last decade, and 4 cities.  I've gone from being a chaos magician to being a heathen.  I've gone from electronics engineering to teaching English.  I've taken initiation as a somaferan.  I've made untold changes to my life and will continue to do so.


Fear of 'boxes'?

Boxes?  Great!  Is it a little box you can put jewellery in, or a big one you can pretend is a spaceship?  Or a medium-sized one for biscuits or interesting rocks?

More seriously:  I hate the idea of being crammed into the "man" box.  I've spent a lot of time locked in the "woman" box, and I do't reckon the "man" box is a whole lot better.  It might be a little nicer to have a marginally-better-understood label to hang on myself, but only a little, and only marginally.


Fear of transition not being fulfilling enough?

Well, this makes more sense.  I mean, given that I'm an androgyne I doubt I'd feel particularly fulfilled as a man.  I want to stop hating the flesh I'm in, but that doesn't mean a full transition to male.  I'd like a more androgynous body, which in my case means more male-seeming, but not quite a man's body.

I'm not an androgyne because it is somehow more comfortable or safer than being fully male.  In fact I find it tearingly, wrenchingly uncomfortable.  I fought a long time before I would accept that identity, but in the end I was forced to accept that it is who I am. 


I have to say I'm a little piqued by the implications of this thread.  I mean, if people want to discuss "is androgyne a legitimate gender identity" then that's fine, but does the discussion always have to happen in the Androgyne Talk section?  I thought this was for androgynes to talk about being androgyne, not for other people to talk about us.

[Pica Pica]

But then, you are the smart one.
It took me a year and a half of monthly counselling sessions to come to the same conclusion.

  Nfr

well, in that case - you are the knowledgeable one. Cos you did some of the do, did you find anything to report in the process what could help the rest of us?

[Nero]

Hi Lokaeign.

I have to say I'm a little piqued by the implications of this thread.  I mean, if people want to discuss "is androgyne a legitimate gender identity" then that's fine,

Maybe I didn't word things right. This is a spin off from the other discussion about how some androgynes are in denial and vice versa. I didn't mean to imply that androgyne isn't a legit identity. Just was curious as to what could cause a transsexual to hide in the androgyne camp.
My apologies to anyone who thought I was saying something different.   

[Jade H]

...Just was curious as to what could cause a transsexual to hide in the androgyne camp.

Come on Nero, 'fess up... You've realised that you're actually one of us... But trying to deny it?...