We moved to NC last August. So far we are liking the state a lot (much better than PA

) I don't know much about the Charlotte or Asheville regions (other than Charlotte is a big "competitor" to Raleigh and Asheville is in the mountains.) We live in the RTP (Research Triangle Park) area or "The Triangle" for short. The Triangle is the triangle made by connecting the cities of Raleigh, Durham, and Chapel Hill and the "research" comes from the hospitals/research universities in each of those cities (NC State, Duke, and UNC-Chapel Hill.)
This area's pretty nice as GLBT friendly stuff goes as well. Heck Durham *advertises* that it's one of the top 10 destinations for gay/lesbian vacations! Dani has found therapists and doctors here.
The largest problem right now is lack of jobs. While there are still some jobs out there in this area, competition is pretty fierce. A lot of places cut positions, especially those in RTP itself. Even the universities have either frozen positions or made cuts. UNC is talking furloughs. That being said, this area is also poised to make a rapid comeback once the economy turns around.
Charlotte, so I've heard, is in worse condition job-wise. They were heavy in the banking industry and took major hits when the economy crashed. You may have a tough time job hunting there. I don't know how Asheville's economic situation is.
The western area of the state (where Asheville is located) is also in a drought condition and they have been since last year. I don't know if this will impact your choice or not, but just thought I'd mention it.
I hope this helps and sorry I couldn't be of more help

WR