Afraid..

[phantom_heart]

I am afraid that I'm holding Adrianna back. I know what she wants and I accept it. But because of my own condition i think other parts of me are not okay with it. I dont want Adrianna to base her dission on me. If this were me i'd have done it already. Once i get my teeth into something I dont stop.

I dont want to be the reason she doesnt get SRS. I'm supportive and i know at least 2 others are. She wont talk about the rest. It makes me angry. Its her life. She needs to become the person she is on the inside. I see the smile it puts on her face when i call her Adrianna the way her eyes light up. The surprise when i hold her and tell her of all the reasons i love HER. Does it get erased when i switch and another personality says how much they love Nick?

I've tried to talk to her. I wish all this stuff in my head made sence. We could have a meeting of personalities heh..and talk about this. It just doesn't work that way i guess. Any advise? I know this is an odd situation.I just feel like i'm more of a burden than a help to her. (If you can't understand what i'm talking about please go and read my introduction.)

[Starr]

First off, welcome. I missed your introduction but went back and read it as you suggested. Wow, you and Adrian really do have a unique situation. I have one (online) friend who has your condition, but I really don't know much about coping with it.

I saw in your other post that Adrianna knows the others and interacts with them. Do they like her? Could she win them over and make them understand with time? How often are you not you? (I hope you don't mind me asking that.)

My SO is Hypatia on this forum. I knew her for a few years before she came out to me. We were just friends then, but I was in love with her. I loved her even more after I found out, so I understand where you're coming from. It's hard watching the person you love not being able to be who they want to be when other things stand in the way, even though you accept them.

I wish I had some better advice. I am really good at listening and would be happy to do that anytime. I really hope things get easier for you and her. 

[phantom_heart]

Thank you Starr!

I never really thought of what you said until now. To explain I guess picture this. "waking up" years later being in an older (pudgier) body and laying beside some guy you dont know. The first instinic is to run, scream or something. I think we actually did that on one occasion >.<

Nick is the first one we meet because that who we see. He calmly explained what was going on and took time and time again to make us relies he loved us. Then of course finding out that Nick wants to be Adrian (this comes later on). I feel bad for Adrian because she has to go through ether acceptance or rejection more than once.

I've proposed we have a vote. Since i can't predict when we are going to switch..anything can trigger one i said it will take time but we can vote. Who will accept Adrian and who wont. I have enough hope in myself that we are all decent people (personalities) and can be accepting. But i dont know.

I just dont want to wait forever. Adrian is 21 now would be a good time to start therapy and hormones and stuff. I wouldn't want her to wait and regret it later ya know?

[Starr]

The love and caring you and Adrianna have for each other is so apparent. I know it sounds cliché, but I believe that most of the time two people who love each other can work things out.

More than love though, I believe patience is required. It sounds like you and Adrianna have that. I waited patiently for four years for Hypatia to return my feelings. I knew we belonged together, and I was so right. Our journey was complicated in its own way, but it has turned out to be better than I could have ever imagined. With the kind of commitment you have for each other, I believe it will all sort itself out for you too.

I think a vote is an excellent idea. You said elsewhere that you went from 24 to 6 personalities in a year. That's amazing! I think you're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. And even though now might be a good time for Adrianna to start hormones, it will still be fine if she has to wait awhile to make sure that everyone is on board with the idea. Just keep working on healing yourself. It sounds like you're doing quite well with a very difficult situation.

[phantom_heart]

Thank you!!

Its hard but we cope. Your right i think its our love ^_^. Poor thing is very sick today. fever and a bad cough. She took a graval. But it was like 100mg so it knocked her out cold. poor thing.

We are moving into our own place on Friday. Currently we live with her dad. I'm nurvious because we are moving to a new city and i dont have a job. I dont know a soul. We chose this city because it has cheep rent. Like really cheep rent but i hope the neibourhoods are ok. I'm paranoid about break ins. But i suppose if we keep our nose out of trouble nothing should happen. Heres to hoping LOL

[Tina]

I'm sorry to be nosey.  But I liked the conversaton between you two.  Susans and everybody has givin me lots to think about.  My SO visits here daily as Linda.  Hi baby 

We have been together 4 years.  I was just told about 2 months ago.  Thank you for your support.  You've gave me lot's to think about.

We are in our 40's and then some.  I have 2 daughters from my previous marriage.  My oldest knows whats going on with my SO.  But my oldest is now living in Flordia. My youngest doesn't.  I know we need to tell her.  I'm not sure how to go about doing this. She is 18. My youngest knows about TG through the TV and the trail.  Forgive me if I can't come up with a name.  Still confused about alot of things. I'm probley just babbling.  Not sure were all this is going.  And I'm repeating myself.

Just wanted to vent sorry.

[phantom_heart]

bluewolf bust in anytime

I think the sooner you can tell your youngest would be best. I believe that with all the crap in this world honesty is the best. If you keep it for two long she may be upset that you didnt confide in her. Also you both will have each other to lean on while you both accept whats going on.. Thats always good. Stay strong and positive and remember its whats on the inside. ^_^ IMHO

[Starr]

You're not being nosy. If you can get something out of what was said, I'm very happy. Don't worry about feeling confused right now. It takes time to process. I think the fact that you want to try says a lot about how you feel about her. It changes your life as well.

I guess we're around the same age. It takes time to figure out what this means for you, too. I agree that you should tell your daughter sooner rather than later. She's probably had more exposure to information about TG than we did at her age. It might make it easier for her to accept, especially if she sees you trying to be supportive of your SO. Explain to her that it really doesn't change who the person is. The important things, the things that made you fall in love in the first place, have not changed.

[TamTam]

Bluewolf, your daughter is only one year younger than I.

[Tina]

WOW!!!!!

TamTam you threw me for a loop on that one.  To me you came across as a much older person.  Maybe it is your wisdom.  I guess age is nothing but a number.  Starting to feel that way with my 45 B-Day creeping up on me.  Shhhhhh!  did I say that outloud?

I know I need to tell her. I just need her here long enough to sit down.  I remember 18, never home.  Not sure if my SO want's to do this with me. I've asked but never got a answer.  I've had the conversation planed out in my head for quite awhile now.  And you both are right the sooner the better.  I'm just afraid of hurting her again.  I haven't made the best decessions in picking a partner.  She seems to be opening up to to him.  I just don't want to screw it up again.  Another concern is keeping it between us.  Remember the small town thing again.  One slip to the wrong person and it's all over the place.  My SO wouldn't care but with the not knowing were this is going.  Why throw a wrench in it.  Then again she should be told.  Again the confusion, and re:  afraid..

thank you