Do trans men date trans women?

[ChristineHaylett]

It may seem funny now but I actually know a couple that where straight they where happy with each over, but unhappy with themselves, they both transitioned to the opposite and are still together. Its not uncommon and when it comes to relationships ultimately it all depends on who can physically, mentally and spiritually complete you.


And yes I wouldnt tell my friends this but I have thought about it, if we both are happy what does it matter lol.

btw that is amazing, Im glad you both are happy. Did those 'thugs' that came to your place know he was trans to? I can't stand people like that (it also scares me more than anything to think people will think like that about me as well even without knowing me... ).

xyz

They had no idea my partner was trans, I think he pass more then me but so handsome.
It is sad yes but I think it's even more upsetting when the police let's them get away and refuse to put it down as a hate crime.

[MaryT]

Since the early days of transgender medicine, it could happen.  Lobzang Jivaka, aka Laurence Michael Dillon, nee Laura Maud Dillon, the first trans man to receive phalloplasty, was in love with Roberta Cowell, Britain's first recipient of vaginoplasty.  He actually illegally performed Cowell's orchiectomy.

Some trans people insist on having lovers who are not attracted to them BECAUSE they are trans.  A member explained that this is because the alternative could trigger gender dysphoria.  However, a trans man and trans woman might form a relationship not because they are especially attracted to trans people but because they met as members of LGBT groups, etc. 

[MaryT]

That may be the case in the US, but in Europe ftm generally outnumber mtf by 2 to 1.

I don't know enough to say you are incorrect but I can't find statistics to support that.  On the 2009 article

gender-variant populations,

statistics from a number of studies are shown but each shows mtf vastly outnumbering ftm, even in the European Union.

For example, Sheet 1: Tsoi88 shows 57,434 mtf and 20,067 ftm. 

Either way, there seems to be a large enough reservoir of both mtf and ftm to date, especially if they deliberately socialise with other trans people.

[Michelle_P]

My experience is that there are roughly equal numbers of what I consider trans men and trans women.  Many of the surveys done apply criteria such as 'seeking or have received gender confirmation surgery' to their identification, which throws a real wrench into the works.  FtM Gender Confirmation Surgery (GCS) is only sought by a small portion of the FtM community (one survey puts the number at 17%), at roughly half the rate that the MtF community seeks GCS.  The FtM GCS is more complex, and produces what many consider to be a less satisfactory result than the MtF surgeries do.

I know quite a few trans men who are satisfied to just have top surgery, or even no surgeries, some hoping that GCS will significantly improve before they opt for it.  Several of my FtM friends present as stone butch, completely accepted by various factions of the LGBTQ community.

Dating within queer spaces definitely happens between FtM and MtF folks.

I used to consider myself as a simple lesbian in orientation, but with transition and being more open to my identity, I have also questioned my orientation.  I find that I am attracted to persons with a softer 'femme' appearance and personality without regard to what might be in their briefs.   This range includes cis women, trans women, and some trans men.  (There was a trans man at an LGBTQ meetup a year ago with a lush red beard and leg hair, and I kept wondering what it would feel like to be entangled with all of that. I still found a certain feminine energy about them that attracted me!)

But... but...  What about the hardware between their legs???  There's more to romance than that!  And if I do make a romantic connection sufficient to unlock my demisexual nature, I figure I can always use an adapter if needed...   

It's a moot point for me, personally, as I am currently In A Relationship.   The topic fascinates me, though.  Humans are so wonderfully complex.

[AquaWhatever]

I literally deleted my comment while trying to alter it smh,
Point being, yes but I feel more like trans girls don't like trans guys that much
Most of the transwomen I met don't like transguys but I've met a handful of trans guys who don't like trans women either

[Evienne]

I literally deleted my comment while trying to alter it smh,
Point being, yes but I feel more like trans girls don't like trans guys that much
Most of the transwomen I met don't like transguys but I've met a handful of trans guys who don't like trans women either

From my understanding, and I could be wrong, but I hear that there are more MTFs than there are FTMs. This forum at least reflects that but that doesn't prove it. But anyways, assuming that would be true then it's quite likely that the chances to meet a transwomen who doesn't like a transman is just more likely to happen based on the higher pool of numbers but for all we know it could still only be 30% of transwomen. Point meaning 30% of 1,000,000 is more transwomen not liking transmen than 30% of 100,000 transmen, but it's still only 30% opposed to 70% who aren't like that (numbers made up).

Just something your comment made me think about.

----------------------------

And me personally, no I don't like transmen (in terms of relationships) but that's not to do with the fact that they're trans but rather the fact that I am not attracted to guys or masculinity at all. That's just my anecdotal though.

[DustKitten]

I think the reason we seem more active on the forums is that we're just more sociable and chatty on average than the trans guys only one of my trans male friends ever visits trans forums, and he goes to >-bleeped-<.

[OofWillis]

I always thought MTF girls is lesser than FTM boys, regardless it is a topic about the couples and I'm not sure is it important which gender or transgender you have when it comes to love. The only both trans couple family I've ever seen was FTM+FTM

[Charlie Nicki]

I literally deleted my comment while trying to alter it smh,
Point being, yes but I feel more like trans girls don't like trans guys that much
Most of the transwomen I met don't like transguys but I've met a handful of trans guys who don't like trans women either

I like trans guys...a lot! Most of them are very handsome and masculine. My only issue is that some of them are too short, and it's not about being shallow, it's just that I like to feel feminine and tiny next to my guy lol.

[Sleepydf]

My wife and I were both in the closet when we started dating. Funny how some things happen.

[DustKitten]

This is slightly off-topic, but I've recently been annoyed with some friends who implied that I'm not into guys because the last few I was with were all FTM. The (brief) conversation went something like:

"But I thought you were into guys?"
"Well, yeah, they were trans guys."
"But...you've been with real men too, right?"
(internally screaming): "Yeah. Yeah, I've done that, too."

They're very supportive of me otherwise (with occasional slips) and I know they're not used to interacting with trans people in general, but it still bugs me. Even "allies" say dumb things sometimes.