So..I've got a dirty little secret..

[GQjoey]

I know a lot of you..will know this band. I'm hesitant to say, because I think it's absolutely AMAZING there's a f2m in it, and NOBODY on the outside seems to know. My gf is really good friends with a another guy that used to play with them, and she just told me not too long ago, one of them is a f2m. I don't want to put it out there, for the simple fact, it's obvious he doesn't want his personal biz out there like that..but if anyone knows of any famous bands, singers, etc..go ahead and guess

[tekla]

Rule one of fame.  You have no personal secrets.
Rule two.  Everyone will know, sooner or later.

[Mr. Fox]

The All-American Rejects?  I only guess this based on the name of this topic.

[Mister]

it's obvious he doesn't want his personal biz out there like that

So then why are you dangling the carrot? 

I seem to remember you like to date women and not tell them you're trans.  I hope to god someone starts outing you to every girl you meet.

[tekla]

it's obvious he doesn't want his personal biz out there like that

Sure picked the wrong business then eh?  Should have been a plumber or a janitor then.  Moreover, they can't be that famous, or people would know.  Some marginal player in a marginal band (and All-American Rejects would count, there already doing the VHS "What ever happened to..." about them, they peaked two years ago, and now are stuck doing MTVs Spring Break shows).

[Mister]

Absolutely.  But people in the trans community shouldn't be outing other trans people who clearly have taken measures to not be out.  First rule of fight club, and all.

[tekla]

But people in the trans community shouldn't be outing other trans people who clearly have taken measures to not be out

That's not universally agreed to.  I wouldn't do it, but I understand the arguments of those who would.

And besides, if you want to keep a secret, don't have sex with your fans.

[Mister]

That's not universally agreed to.  I wouldn't do it, but I understand the arguments of those who would.

Clearly not by OP and not for what I've seen of the TG people.  the TS crowd seems to get it, though.

[imaz]

 The Cliks are good and have an FTM singer...

"Eyes in the Back of My Head" by The Cliks

[TamTam]

Oh, but everyone knows that about The Cliks. Pretty sure the other members of the group are somewhere in the LGBTA spectrum, too.

[Arch]

I've always wondered whether Ken Burns was intersex or trans. He has particular characteristics that suggest that he is, but I've never talked to anyone else who has thought so.

I mean, it's not just stuff like his hands, his voice, his facial features, and his voice. His middle name is Lauren--I think that name can go both ways, but it's usually a woman's name. And, of course, he has facial hair, which a lot of transmen do.

I know, pretty flimsy. But does anyone else ever wonder?

[tekla]

While The Clicks might have a trans following, they still have not really broken out past playing roller rinks for skating parties and some small NYC bars.  They are still more of a U-Tube deal then a real rock recording/touring act.

[icontact]

Regardless of who it might be, I don't think it's tactful to be outing people.

[Arch]

Regardless of who it might be, I don't think it's tactful to be outing people.

Even though on this very forum I'm speculating about someone, I agree with you. I don't think it's cool to out someone you know is trans. That decision can significantly change the outed person's life.

Even if outing someone doesn't cause problems, I still can't agree with it. For instance, my partner outed me to a family member a few months ago while I was agonizing over exactly how to come out to that person myself. I understand why he did it, but I feel that it was not my partner's decision to make. The fact that everything came out all right in the end has nothing to do with it; I'm still bothered by the event because I feel that unless I say otherwise, the only one who has the right to out me is me.

[Dennis]

I get bothered when people out me. It hasn't made an actual difference that I can tell to how people treat me, but it seems to me that it's my information to divulge or not. Or at least, I'd like to have a friggin clue whether the person I'm talking to knows or not. I'm not ashamed of my past at all. In fact, I'll joke about it with friends who I know know. But I don't want to look like I'm lying to someone when I'm just trying to make life easier for myself in a casual conversation.

As far as outing others, I figure if they're doing something hurtful or hypocritical, let's go at 'er. Rent a plane with a banner, put it on the internet, spray paint it on buildings. Roy Cohn was enough of a lesson in how harmful the closet can be. But if someone's living life peacefully, I don't think it's right, personally. Tekla's right that you'd have to be an idiot to choose a public profession and not expect it's gonna come out, but still, I wouldn't be the one to bring it out.

Dennis

[TamTam]

While The Clicks might have a trans following, they still have not really broken out past playing roller rinks for skating parties and some small NYC bars.  They are still more of a U-Tube deal then a real rock recording/touring act.

Not really.  Logo has paid them a lot of attention, and Logo has a reasonably large audience.  It's how I heard of them.  You're wrong about the All-American Rejects, too.  They just came out with a new single a few weeks ago and it's been all over MTV and the radio, at least here on the East Coast.

[sd]

As far as outing others, I figure if they're doing something hurtful or hypocritical, let's go at 'er. Rent a plane with a banner, put it on the internet, spray paint it on buildings. Roy Cohn was enough of a lesson in how harmful the closet can be. But if someone's living life peacefully, I don't think it's right, personally. Tekla's right that you'd have to be an idiot to choose a public profession and not expect it's gonna come out, but still, I wouldn't be the one to bring it out.

That's about how I feel about it as well.

A person can easily just decline comment or deflect it, there is no need to overdo it. Besides, why leave yourself open to worse criticism if/when you are outed.

[lacitychick21]

Regardless of who it might be, I don't think it's tactful to be outing people.

QFT

And you'd be surprised with the cohesiveness of the community. I knew Lance Bass was gay long before he came out, but the gay community didn't spread it outside the community... because he asked! He came out on his own doing. Sure, people knew... but the public as a whole didn't.

I hate to see anyone even try to guess the band. Who cares? If he wants to come out, he will. If not, let's not talk about it. This is all very elementary. And it's sad when people assume because they choose a career in front of the public that they somehow aren't entitled to any privacy? I guess it must be hard. To have a talent and work hard at it, it gets you in front of everyone and suddenly you aren't entitled to your privacy. You were just doing what you loved...

[tekla]

You were just doing what you loved...

Nah, you can do that for free at home, when you are doing it for a public, and for money, your doing it to be loved, and that's a very different game. 

You beg, borrow, steal, pimp and bribe for coverage, because you live and die on coverage, the downside is, you can never dictate what the coverage is.  And band X has a secret transgender is much better copy then band X just wrote a new song using a D, Amin, E progression. 

There are huge trade offs in that quest for fortune and fame, privacy is just one of them.

[perfectisolation]

I dunno but I have my bets that Brett Dennen is a ftm, or just didn't have a very eventful puberty... (not to rag on him but he does look and sound really young)
Brett Dennen - Ain't No Reason (Official Single Video)