Almost Best Friend

[Paulina]

There's this girl at my school who I would consider my best friend in that school (even though we are just good acquaintances) . I think about how bad my life is, and yet she has it much worse than I will ever have it. I usually don't think about it, and I treat her like anyone else. That's the way I am, I just see people as people. Anyways she has half her arm missing, and it stops at her elbow.

I see nobody ever talking to her, besides me or some 'nerdy girl' or something. And being a guy as of now, she probably feels great when I talk to her, since no guys ever talk to her. Not even as a friend. She's like invisible in the school. And I just feel sorry for her. Worse she isn't pretty to begin with, but her personality is beautiful.. She's somewhat wealthy, but money doesn't buy you an arm and a hand, nor friends or acceptance. I don't think i could live her life at all, and probably end up in a crazy home. I couldn't imagine being left like that. But she gets all A's (99's or 100's)

And today she told me the saddest story that she doesn't wear contacts because it gets too difficult to put it in her eyes *it wasn't her intention to ever mention her arm; i never talk about it or ask about it*. Unless her mother does it. She only wears glasses.

Well anyways I was just thinking (since this doesn't pertain to any thread), that the world is a cruel place sometimes for outsiders. If you don't fit the mold then you're just taking up space.

I knew her for some time (two years), but I feel like I should be doing something besides being a friend in school.

[gennee]

Paulina, it's great that you're being a friend and please continue to do so. What do you want to do, specifically?

Gennee

[Nero]

She is handicapped?

[V M]

I treat her like anyone else. That's the way I am, I just see people as people.

People are people... and all most want is the same kindness and respect as anyone else. Being a true friend means allot. People who are missing various parts already know about it. Not drawing attention to it is a good idea 

[Paulina]

She is handicapped?

Yes, and no

She can do daily functions; walk around, do school work, write, type with her one hand.

She probably cannot lift heavy things, and handicapped to a lot of things beyond basic things that just require one hand.

[Nicky]

You are probably doing much more than you realise, being someone that treats her as a person and not someone to be feared or ignored or excluded. You could tell her she is your best friend at school. That is always a cool thing to hear.

I think it would be ok to ask how she feels about missing part of her arm. Perhaps nobody has every asked her and she might welcome the opportunity to talk about it. Everybody is probably afraid to talk about it which is exactly why it should be approached. That would be a great gift to your friend. Being able to talk freely about your feelings can only be a good thing. It sounds like she is obviously frustrated by aspects of having only one arm. I think her talking about not wearing contacts is a flag - saying hey, this sucks, I have stuff I would like to share, I want someone to listen.

It is not an offensive question, asking how one feels. The question is would you be able to listen to it?

Quite likely she will be unused to talking about it too. Make it something that is ok to talk about. Don't treat her just like anything else, treat her as you friend.

[V M]

Well yeah, if they want to talk about it, that could be a good thing. Some folks I know don't want to talk about it, some do.

I'm just glad that you've befriended this person and give the kindness and respect all folks deserve