Didn't Realize I Was In My RLT

[Julie Marie]

Until I read Melissa's post about going to a straight bar I didn't realize that is part of the RLT.  Once I'm off work I go most places as me but last night was really a step!  And fun to boot!

There's a club that has live bands occasionally and last night Pink Freud was playing.  Yeah, they play Pink Flloyd music and they are awesome!  Close your eyes and you think you're at a Pink Flloyd concert!

A GG friend of mine invited me out and told me she could get me in for free.  This is a totally straight club.  I was there last week but just for dinner and a few drinks.  The place wasn't at all full.  But last night it was SRO.  She had a table and saved me a seat.  I had an unobstructed view of the band.  I was so caught up in the music and grinning from ear to ear just enjoying every second of it I hadn't even thought I was the only TG in the place. 

Then between songs I looked around.  There were bikers, stoners, conservatives, cowboys and cowgirls, you name it, and one TG.  Me!  I didn't even get so much of a side glance from anyone.  When I went to the ladies room there was a line.  I waited my turn and got in a conversation with some of the girls also waiting.  We talked about how awesome the band is and not one of them looked at me strangely.  I was totally accepted!  This blew my mind!  Here I was out at a straight club surrounded by people who might normally be turned off by a transsexual in their midst and not one of them gave me even a hint they knew I was TS, not even under the bright lights and close confines of the ladies room!  WOW!

Thank you Melissa for pointing out that this is part of the RLT.  It makes me feel like I'm really accomplishing something.

Tonight I'm going out to dinner with a post-op friend of mine.  We're going to a very straight restaurant (for seafood) in a very conservative area.  Life is good.

[Melissa]

Well, it's not part of any requirements, just one thing I chose to do.  For me, RLT involves fully living as a woman and doing whatever I would do if I had the surgery (with a few exceptions).  I figure if I can live successfully as a woman at this point in my transition, then I will be successful a few years down the road after hormones have had more of an effect on me and I've had surgery.

Anyway congratulation on enjoying yourself.  Living life as a normal woman really gives you a taste of what your future has in store for you.  Just remember, it is really only you who defines what your RLT is.  If you want to challenge yourself, then wonderful.

Melissa

[Buffy]

Hi Julie...

Congrats honey, what you are doing is the RLT!

It is easy and safe to be around other people in our community and visit Gay bars and clubs....Hey I have done that. There is a level of security there and our behaviour is not normally under much scrutiny.

To fully integrate into normal everyday life is what RLT is all about, does not the R = Real, L= Life?

It gets easier with time and confidence.....Sounds like you have also enjoyed the event known to women as the rest room social trip, you can go in with a stranger, come out best friends , knowing their life story... fun ehh!

Buffy

[Christina_Lee]

I know that a great many of us in early transitioning are nervous about RLT. I personally do not understand this fear. After all, is it not our goal to go fulltime anyways??

I started my RLT back on October 7th 2005 and despite a few rough spots, (and there most certainly HAVE been a few), I have no regrets!

I LOVE being a girl!!

[cindianna_jones]

Sorry for the shape of this thing. Squirrel thought that it should like something that belongs in a club setting.

Club Talk

You know, those conversations
When they use a raised voice
when there isn't any choice
but be polite  and respond.
You know, almost yelling
yes there's much telling
over those short walls
of the  toilet stall.

Outside     the
band's a wailin
music's pumpin
folk's  a dancin
servers  walkin
drinks  a comin
couples  dancin
they's a shoutin.

So the conversation
happens at the stations
where  the  toilets  stall.

Copyright 2006 by Cindi Jones

[Elizabeth]

Hey Julie,

I think I know how you feel.  I have never been to a gay bar, but I have recently been to a few night clubs.  This past Friday night I went to the House of Blues here in Hollywood because my neices band was playing there.  Two weeks before I was at the Wiskey-a-go-go, also in Hollywood.  Both times I was not noticed and had absolutely no prorblems.  These are both fairly prominent venues that primarily play in the Blue/Rock and Roll genre.

I realise that Hollywood is considered a more tolerant place and certianly rock music has always been considered an "inclusive" philosophy, it still seemed as really I just went un-noticed. 

While my sister has never had an issue being with me or being seen with me, even she remarked about how no one seems to notice me.  She said it surprised her that not only did I never get hassled, but that no one even seemed to really notice me.

About a month ago I went to see Coheed & Cambria at a popular night club in Orange County.  It is very conservative and I had a bit of trepidation about going there, but again, I had no problems and no one really seemed to notice me.  I finally feel like my life is getting back to normal.  I don't feel self conscience about doing the things I used to do.

This is not a RLT, this is real life.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Julie Marie]

This is not a RLT, this is real life.

I agree Elizabeth.  We are all just trying to live our lives in a way that's natural to us.  I know my therapist would write the SRS letter at the drop of a hat.  And she knows I'll never ask for it until I'm totally ready.  The RLT criteria the SOC lays out don't apply the same to everyone.  Some just know and I think I'm one of them.

Each step I take towards being more female makes me feel better.  I have yet to feel I needed to go back, even a single step.  I'm always focusing on moving forward.  In a real sense this is a more important indicator than doing everyday things en femme.  Just my two cents.

[Robyn]

Julie, if that picture is the real you, then I don't think you are in any danger of being read so longs as your shoes are pointing out when you are using that stall.

<Big grins>

Robyn

[Christina_Lee]

Actually that sounds like a totally wonderful slogan! )

This is not a RLT, this is real life.

[sheila18]

julie:
sounds like you are enJOYing life, good 4 u, gotta  love it
sheila18