Androgyne or Trans? CONFUSION!

[antarcticsake]

Early childhood I thought I was a girl, and wore dresses and dressed femininely, wayy before kindergarten and the harsh effects of society started to tackle me.
Obviously that stopped...
And a year or two ago I just realized that those were like the memories I buried deep and I went into an all out panic and realized I must be female, I can't believe I ever hid that my whole life, blah blah.  Every time i'd go shopping i'd say to myself inside, "Boy if i was a girl I would SO buy that outfit...but I guess it'll be another life."  Or "boy I just wish I was a girl because I feel mentally like one, but I guess I don't look it."

Then it went away.  And came back a few months later. And went away.  And came back.  And the whole urge to transition has gone away for a few months.  Is this totally abnormal!??!
Like...I absolutely don't wanna wear men's clothing, and I don't feel masculine, but I am not as keen as I originally was to take any action.  Is this totally weird?

Also, I was thinking about the boob issue.  I don't know what I think about them. I'd rather have small like size A cup boobs than bigger ones.  And I'd love to have that feminine, delicate skin.  A lot of characteristics of TS but I'm confused as to why my feelings just went away suddenly? Does this mean I'm androgyne? Because I don't fit or want to fit the male frame of mind. 

Extra facts:  I HATE hate hate tuxedos and most collared shirts, sometimes I "feel" manly but I hate the way it feels, if you know what I mean.  LIke, when I know i'm getting a hormone rush, I hate it. and feel like a gross person. i hate what i feel like under testosterone.  So, I feel like since the feelings are more than clothes, it's gotta be something? But as for what that something is, I dunno...because even if i'm uncomfortable with what I've been given, it's all i've ever known.  EVER!  so, it's weird ya know?

[Nicky]

Totally normal.

It just means you are still figuring things out, and processing it. It settles down as you learn more about yourself and get better at expressing it. It is like an inner tug of war where your core self is trying to get out but your not quite sure what that core self is yet (that's how I see it anyway).

Keep on thinking, exploring, talking about it, and expressing it. Things will become clearer in time - sometimes like a bolt of lightning and sometimes with a gradual realisation. Sometimes you will go to a place and then decide to backtrack only to end up there again. It is totally ok.

I think it is wise to hold off any drastic action untill things settle down a bit. But playing with your presentation, cross-dressing, trying makeup and jewlery etc are great ways to learn about yourself and can help you learn skills that you might need later.

Remember that any more than a handful is just a waste 

[Pica Pica]

ello, yeah - relax take a breather. Try not to ponder on it - as hard as that is - and see where you drift.

[Mr. Fox]

Most transsexuals seem to have periods where they're not very motivated to transition.  All that passion and angst takes energy.  One needs a break.  Desiring smallish breasts also seems like it should be a normal MtF thing.  Large ones are uncomfortable, and many find smaller ones quite aesthetically pleasing.  All this said, don't rule out androgyny.  If you dismiss it without thinking about it, you'll be "what iffing" all the time.