transsexualism developed

[lauren3332]

I was just wondering if the feelings of being the other gender could be caused by something in someone's past or by something external?  From about the time I was born until the age of 16 I was fine and then my ->-bleeped-<- slowly started to develop first into crossdressing and then it went into transsexualism, or at least this is what it seems like when I run my life through my head.  Is there anyone out there with a similar story?

[lisagurl]

Sometimes you just reject the factory roles.

[Cowardly Lioness]

I've known I am a girl for about as long as I've known there is a difference between boys and girls.

Can someone realize they are supposed to be the opposite sex later in life?  I'm sure it's not only possible, but very likely.

Can outside influences cause someone to believe they are transsexual when really they may not be?  I'm sure that is possible, too.

There is a reason people go through so much therapy along their journey ... to ensure they are truly transsexual, and not simply confused or acting on some emotional impulse.

It doesn't matter if anybody has a similar story to yours.  What matters is that you seek theraoy and support for whatever your future decision may be.

[Inanna]

I believe the vast majority of TS/TG are born, not developed.  However, I do believe it is possible for this to be developed later on, though this form would much more rare.  And even in these cases, I'd bet the person had at least a predisposition to it in some way.

I'm also of the opinion that if all layers were peeled off society, there'd be many many more TS/TG people than there currently are.  Those that do have the courage to transition represent those who would have likely been quite feminine or masculine had they been born in the correct body, so the disharmony between mind and body is to the point it must be resolved rather than ignored.

[Just Kate]

I was just wondering if the feelings of being the other gender could be caused by something in someone's past or by something external?

First, welcome to the board.  I appreciate your honest question and search for more knowledge about the nature of your condition.  As to the question I've quoted above, I believe (and perhaps am in the minority) that external factors can be very important in the development of GID.  Now, I say a factor, because I cannot be sure that it is the "cause" - there is still a strong argument to be made that the cause is something biological, however environmental components are not uncommon even in biological disorders.

That being said, from my own experience, my GID didn't really start to develop strongly until I began to feel oppressed for my gender-variant behavior.  I was very effeminate and was treated with disdain for it by adults and peers as I imagine many young effeminate boys are.  Due to this derision between being myself and being what I was expected to be, I began to feel that I must really be a girl - it is a thought that was most comforting to me. 

Now because not EVERY little effeminate boy who suffers at the hands of others for his outward behaviors develops GID, I can only assume I had some biological trait inborn to predispose me to develop it.  Despite this predisposition, I cannot help but feel if we had a less strict cultural definition of what is male and female, my GID might never have developed so strongly.  As such, I feel that environmental elements can be incredibly important - but they are not the whole story.

[lauren3332]

I can't figure it out, it's ok though, who knows maybe I will be the first one to beat this thing.  I do doubt it since it does tend to come back stronger every time it "disappears."  Either I am the biggest retard and am getting this confused with something else, or I have the strangest case of GID ever to be known, enough so that the doctors are going to have to write the DSM-V.

I am glad everyone else knows who they actually are.  It's better to know what something is even if you can't do anything about it, then to not know at all.  Thanks for the help. 

[Genevieve Swann]

My own feeling is that I was born with the need. My desire to be feminine has developed in to a neccessary part of my being. I cannot be a full person without embracing who I really am. Other than the wrong body, I allowed society to dictate my gender and that was wrong. I missed out on a lot of my life because of that.

[finewine]

Ah, nature vs nurture or a bit of both?

I suspect both, in that there is a fundamental genetics (nature) and that external factors are influencers (nurture).  The latter may explain why the nature doesn't emerge until later in life but it may also be that sexual/gender identity only starts to register consciously for some folks when they're old enough to interpret them...then again some people always "knew" even from a very young age.

Wherever a person is on the continuum of emergence, I personally believe that it's fundamentally genetic.  I do not assert this as fact, it's merely my opinion

[PolarBear]

I don't think you are alone in your feelings.
My feelings of GID come and go in waves, and yes, they do seem to come back stronger most of the time.

Is this something I can beat? No, I'm afraid not. I just want to find out how I can work with it, what is necessary in terms of hormones and surgeries or just therapy to be able to live with it. Stay tuned, the show is long from over....


PolarBear

[Cowardly Lioness]

I don't think you are alone in your feelings.
My feelings of GID come and go in waves, and yes, they do seem to come back stronger most of the time.

Is this something I can beat? No, I'm afraid not. I just want to find out how I can work with it, what is necessary in terms of hormones and surgeries or just therapy to be able to live with it. Stay tuned, the show is long from over....


PolarBear

First - I luv polar bears    They're so cute.  That was one of my nicknames because I used to be very hairy and I enjoy cold weather

I so agree with the waves theory, which in a way makes it harder to deal with.  Although sometimes I feel like I'll never learn to live with it.

[Hazumu]

My 2¢

Yes, some of us definitely know from an early age.  But I think there are others who, for whatever reason, focus on the similarities between the sexes.

If your perceptions are that, other than the anatomical differences, there's not that much difference between boys and girls, you may actually be able to handle the pressures much longer.

You would not see gender as strictly binary, and would be better able to fit in as you are, rather than seeing yourself as somehow on the 'wrong team'.  In fact, the 'opposite teams' metaphor might seem kinda' stupid.

That outlook would make your denial all the much easier and more secure.

Anyway, my 2¢ to the discussion.  Please enjoy the ever-changing view as my inserted oar sends the topic (briefly) off course 

=K

[lauren3332]

I do tend to downplay the differences of gender.  I don't really know why.  You could be correct that it is to help accept me the way that I am so that I don't feel so bad and to make it seem like there isn't a big difference anyway so why transition?  I never really thought of that before. 

[Miniar]

Heyhey, Welcome to the forums.

It wasn't 'till I accepted my own transsexualism that I remembered things from my youth that I'd tuned out for the sake of being able to play my role as a woman.
I stopped praying to god to turn me into a "proper" boy when I was seven or eight years old and instead repressed the feelings, repressed the need, and with them, I repressed the memory of them.

You may have been this way all along and just "not noticed" or denied it strongly enough so that you don't remember.
Or you could be developing the symptoms later in life.
Either way. Hope you find what you need.

[chrysalis]

Well, there is that old joke, "What's the difference between a crossdresser and a ->-bleeped-<-? 2 years."

But really though it depends on  your definition of Transsexual. As I am coming to understand it there seem to be generally two camps. Some prefer a strict definition and others a lenient one.

Strictly speaking a Transsexual is born mentally as one gender quite literally in the wrong body. On the more lenient end people see a Transsexual as someone who desires to change their sex and would in fact benefit from such a metamorphosis.

There is no test for it, you have to sit down and think about it and examine yourself. Are you really the gender you wish to transition to? Here's one way of looking at it.

Imagine you are walking on a path in a field during the day. The path leads you into a forest. It goes on for a ways but comes to a peaceful clearing where you decide to sit down.

Now forget all of the symbolism people attach to the details and ask this, "Who were you as you walked along that path?"

Imagine yourself in an quiet office setting working intently on something important. You go to ask a co-worker a question but are cut off but a loud explosion a few cubicles over. In that moment of shock, who are you?

Who are you when you are driving your car? Getting off the bus? Reaching for change? Covered in mud?

Who are you? Not who you present as, but behind the facade to your core self.

[K8]

It wasn't 'till I accepted my own transsexualism that I remembered things from my youth that I'd tuned out for the sake of being able to play my role as a woman.
I stopped praying to god to turn me into a "proper" boy when I was seven or eight years old and instead repressed the feelings, repressed the need, and with them, I repressed the memory of them.

That's me, too, but maybe on the opposite team(?).  When I was little I kept thinking that the extra stuff would fall off some night and then everyone would be able to see I was really a girl.  I started crossdressing at 9 and thought of myself as "just" a crossdresser from then on, repressing my feelings of really being a girl.  I always felt I was both and neither male/female.  When I first began edging toward transitioning to be a woman, just three months ago, I would sometimes feel like I was selling out to the forces who think of gender as a binary.  (I still don't buy the binary theory.)  Now, presenting as a woman full time, I don't give a ****.  I'm just me and couldn't be happier.

It's a long road for most of us, and we have to walk our individual paths.  With luck and friends and help from professionals you can find the right path for you.

- Kate

[Sandy]

I was just wondering if the feelings of being the other gender could be caused by something in someone's past or by something external?  From about the time I was born until the age of 16 I was fine and then my ->-bleeped-<- slowly started to develop first into crossdressing and then it went into transsexualism, or at least this is what it seems like when I run my life through my head.  Is there anyone out there with a similar story?

By current understandings, transsexuals are born not made.  But there is no real hard evidence to prove one way or another.  If there were, perhaps there wouldn't be quite the social stigma that is associated with being transsexual.

In my case I knew from an early age that something was wrong with me.  I liken it to having your shoes on the wrong feet but all over my body.  I did not come to the suspicion that I may be transsexual until much later in my teens.  Which I quickly went into denial about, but that is not germane to this discussion.

I dismissed my transsexual feelings for quite a while because I didn't feel cross gendered at a very young age as has been described by other trans people.

I even went for quite a while trying to balance my male and female parts by growing a beard for example, but wearing female underwear at the same time.

I was able to delay my transition by decades.  I would go through period of not having my gender foremost in my mind.  But each time my gender questions came back, they came back stronger and more unbearable.

Can GID be beaten?  Lauren, I personally feel that it can be held in remission, perhaps indefinitely,  but I don't think it can be "cured".

I wish you all the best, Lauren!

-Sandy

[Naturally Blonde]

I was just wondering if the feelings of being the other gender could be caused by something in someone's past or by something external?  From about the time I was born until the age of 16 I was fine and then my ->-bleeped-<- slowly started to develop first into crossdressing and then it went into transsexualism, or at least this is what it seems like when I run my life through my head.  Is there anyone out there with a similar story?

I think it is possible but usually we are pushed into a conditioning process which we usually reject at an early age. I wanted a female body and image and clothing wasn't the issue for me. I wore clothes that were very androgenous from the age of 10 or 11 I had long hair. It was pleasing from an early age that people naturally assumed I was female and I wanted to continue with that analogy. I never saw myself as a crossdresser because they were my own clothes that I wore all the time and everyday I went out through the door.