Saddness over something silly

[Windrider]

I am inexplicably sad over something very innocuous. Dani got a little box delivered yesterday. It contained her vitamin D supplements that her endo prescribed. Somehow, seeing it made me very sad. Not upset-sad or hurt-sad, just...sad...like a little piece of Dani has somehow drifted away.

I don't know why a silly vitamin should make me feel this way. I mean, she could have gone to the local drug store and got them. Lots of people take vitamins, even I do.

Dani says I'm still having a hard time with her transition. I don't know. Am I?

WR

[NicholeW.]

Actually, no. I don't think you're having a hard time with her transition. I think you're having memories that make you somewhat sad and wistful.

In other words, I think you, just like she, are having a "hard time" or at least wistful moments, with your own transition. That's totally reasonable, expectable and natural.

I think about 99% of the time transitioners are kinda like the world of people prior to Galileo in the west: the universe is centered on their perspective. That may be harsh on Dani, but I think that's what mostly people do no matter who they are. We tend to read-out from ourselves and kinda forget sometimes that in life-changing situations that those around us are experiencing changes as well. Just like us, they require time, space and the ability to have regrets and sighs for the past.

That does not mean that they haven't "accepted" that we are transitioning. In fact, it may be a better sign that they do "accept" that we are transitioning.

Nichole

[Melissa Ryan]

<applauds loudly>

That was so well said, Thankyou.

[NicholeW.]

<applauds loudly>

That was so well said, Thankyou.

I'll take that applaud and give you my thanks for it, Melissa.

N~

[Starr]

Ditto what Nichole said.

Also, when Hypatia came out to me, my psychiatrist said I was "grieving." That wasn't really what was going on with me*, but I guess she had a valid point. You're essentially "losing" someone you loved. It doesn't mean that you love her any less now or don't accept her--just that you need time to adjust as well.


*I did have a rough time for awhile but not because I didn't accept her or wanted to hang onto part of the past. It was very hard for me because I had to pretend she was male at work and couldn't tell anyone the truth. Once she came out at work, it was much easier on me.

[kisschittybangbang]

You do grieve and Yes much applause for the earth goddess. When someone transitions, it feels like they are dying and every so often even if you are completely open to it and completely ok with it, you will still miss who they used to be. and alot of the time, they do think the world centers tself around them and its not true. Gotta watch out for yourself

[Tina]

Ditto what Nichole said.

Also, when Hypatia came out to me, my psychiatrist said I was "grieving." That wasn't really what was going on with me*, but I guess she had a valid point. You're essentially "losing" someone you loved. It doesn't mean that you love her any less now or don't accept her--just that you need time to adjust as well.


You said it the best   Starr.

Wish I had a psychiatrist to help both of us